My mother moved in with me when my oldest sister dies who lived with her. My brother died when I was 9. My mother and 2 sisters have been addicted to pain meds for years. One sister comitted suicide and the other who lived with mom died when her colon died. Her body couldnt even process the pain meds anymore. Years ago I made the decision to walk away and would only hear from mom when the oldest sister drained her accounts . When she died my moms accountwas charged 983 dollars in overdraft charges alone. So my only option was to move her in. She was in the hole over 2000.00. My husband and I discussed it. We felt this may be a chance to form a friendship if nothing else.
It has been a battle since after the first 3 months. When she accused my daughters fiance of stealing her pain pills I took control of them. She is forced to go to a pain management dr to get her pain meds every 3 months. She goes in my room searching for them while we work. She accuses me of stealing her money. There is nothing wrong with my moms mind. Just this month alone she has spent 732.00 at qvc. She has spent 1000's with qvc since shes been here. Mom has copd and has oxegen in her room. In comes the worst of the argument. She smokes a pack a day in her bedroom and often dosent turn the oxegen off. Im terrified she will cause an explosion and kill us with her. When I take the cigs it turns into a horrible argument. My mother has treated her grandchildren so horribly none have been to my home for 2 years. She has a sister who will not even answer her phone when she calls. She asked a cousin if she could move in and was told no. So she informed me that I would have to have a judge remove her from my home. I accepted years ago that my mom had no use for me. At 10 years old she informed me that she couldnt believe god took johnny instead of me. I heard that for years. I would cry untill I matured and realized she was the one messed up not me.
Now I am 50 years old and taking the verbal abuse again. I hear about how fat I am and dumpy I am. I buy a new outfit and get told I look rediculous. I need some help trying to figure out how to get her out of here. I had to give her the pain meds back last week because she threatened to quit taking her other medicines and she would accuse me of keeping them from her. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ive been happily married for 28 years to a wonderful man and have 2 beautiful daughters. We own our own home. She has her own room with a bath and never has anyone in my family not made her feel this wasnt her home too. We fix her plate every night, take her to dr. Appts, wash her clothes, and still she treats us this way. Anyone who can please guide me in the right direction I would be so grateful. I am so stressed. I cant sleep, ive gained 40 pounds and im tired everyday.
Have a blessed day
But let's hope all goes well today
You're the best:) You are a great example of having a problem, gathering info, asking for ideas and help, then dealing with it and moving forward--like I said to you before--"catching the ball and running with it."
You have made the decision with confidence, and spoken it with conviction. Of course it will work out, because YOU believe in the decision, and so others know you mean it. You ROCK!
Be proud of your ability to make this happen. I am proud of you, GF.
Hugs,
Christina xo
It's too bad that your mom didn't have you as a mother. She may be learning something from you now and it could be to her remaining benefit. Nevertheless, STAY in the light, the light of love and the light of truth.
I can understand that you can't completely walk away. That's fine and I trust your wisdom to know how to tread on this quicksand that is such a part of your mom's darkness. Show her the firm boundaries you continue to establish and at the same time, open your heart and hugs to those who truly love you.
Blessings and Love, Cattails.
Thank you for answering my comment. Just know we are still thinking and praying for your and your family including your mother who must be a miserable person. You have a great life ahead of you! Rebecca