Follow
Share
Read More
3 4 5 6 7
funny joke about complaints…

A man goes up to a woman sitting at a desk. There’s a trash can next to her.

Man: I would like to file a complaint.

Woman: Submit it here.
(she points at the trash can)

Man: (shocked)
You don’t even hide that it’s a trash can?!

Woman: We pride ourselves on our transparency.

Man: (upset; submits his written complaint into the trash can.)

Woman: Please accept our sincerest apology.
(2)
Report

🎄🎄🎄⏰⏰⏰

69 days till Xmas.
(2)
Report

🎄🎄🎄

Be naughty, save Santa the trip.
(2)
Report

🙂 In the event of a disaster,
I have strategically placed chocolate in various locations.
(2)
Report

🙂🙂🌸🌸
I’m not saying I hate you.
But, I do catch myself fantasizing about you being attacked by honey badgers, barefoot in a desert of legobricks, near a Bieber concert.
(1)
Report

🥳 From a procrastination point of view, today was very successful.
(4)
Report

🙄 My brain is giving me the silent treatment today.
(3)
Report

🙂🙂 I’m ready for some blessings that aren’t in disguise.
(5)
Report

Tonight...I'm drinking until I'm someone else's problem.
(2)
Report

Pool rules:
You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words
“Hey everyone watch this!”
(3)
Report

I walk around like everything is OK…but deep down inside, I want to put up my Xmas tree.
(3)
Report

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods, and no one hears it - you should probably get rid of the chainsaw…just in case.
(4)
Report

Some people have no idea what they’re doing,

and a lot of them are really good at it.
(4)
Report

A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 & 6.
He seemed irritated when I answered: “Kindergarten”.
(4)
Report

Finally fixed that annoying noise in my car…
I opened the door and pushed him out.
(3)
Report

Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end.

Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
(4)
Report

So…a burglar broke into my house…
I put the red dot on his chest and the cat did the rest…
(4)
Report

I don’t “fall asleep” -
I overthink myself into a coma.
(3)
Report

They say…
curiosity killed the cat.

I say…
at least the cat died knowing.
(3)
Report

🤔
I can’t tell if it’s killing me
or it’s making me stronger.
(3)
Report

Success (noun)

When you can finally give your dog the backyard it deserves.
(2)
Report

🙂 "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
(5)
Report

🙄 “Some people are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.” 
(3)
Report

😉 I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
(1)
Report

hugggg
🙂🙂🌼🌼🙂🙂
(2)
Report

Bundleofjoy, this is not a joke but I wanted to tell you something. I took Mom to eye doctors today, I'm not sure why but what you said about laughing at evil yesterday, must of really got in my head.

When the secretary asked mom to put me on as a refural, and she said no , I couldn't stop giggling. My evil brother would have a fit if he wasn't 110 percent in charge, and I couldn't stop giggling at the insanity of it all

Then we run into my sister, who randomly had a doctors visit too, and I started to giggle again.

So thanks for the laughs today.
(2)
Report

🤓 The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love.


(bundle of joy currently experiencing this)
(5)
Report

That’s it.
I’ve used up my luck for the year!
🍀🍀🍀
(2)
Report

Him: I need advice.

Me: (eating cookie dough for breakfast).
You came to the right person.
(5)
Report

Who set up my mood on shuffle?
(2)
Report

3 4 5 6 7
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter