AlvaDeer Posted November 2020
COVID Dashboard: "The Virus and How it's Wrecking my Life".
Follow
Share
Read More Close
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
198 Comments
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- Massive Covid outbreak at my mom's nursing home and it's only getting worse. Any ideas of things that can be done to help the situation?
- Mom’s 100th Birthday during Covid, any advice?
- How are you celebrating the holidays during this pandemic? So much heartache for parents unable to see their children and grandchildren.
- 81 year old mother with Alzheimer’s just tested positive for COVID at ALF, no symptoms yet. Could she stay symptom free?
Start a Discussion
Two dams broke earlier this year. You can look at mlive.com, the online newspaper at the drone activity. The 2 lakes dumped into Dows containment pond destroyed everything. Someone who lives in a very big white home in DC has held up FEMA funds because he likes to fight with the govenor. People in this area do not have a place to live much less money to buy for masks. Then there are robberies, do you go to stores that have signs that say, if you wear a mask we shoot because we assume your a robber. No, I do not think so.
Do you know that if you were a nurse and retired, the govenor called you back to work months ago? My mom even got a letter.
Do you understand we have a legislature that sued the govenor, she lost every power she had to keep us safe? Her EOs are unconstitutional. You have some whack job lawyer named Katherine Henry, who argued the case making YouTube videos that stoke the flames. Watch them, she is nuts and people believe it. Do you know Air Force One had a superspreader a mile from my house? People could not wear masks to get in.
Some traveling nurse has no clue the mindset here.
Here in CA Gov Newsom is way too smart to call back old nurses who wouldn't have a CLUE what to do. Time goes real fast in medicine. I could give shots; other than that, hee hee, well, bedpan duty. So far we aren't seeing shortages, but we soon will I would guess.
It is what it is. Things don't go smoothly in pandemics. We will go on. I love the Annie Dillard quote that goes as follows:
"We live as if we weren't as sand, and each of us as ephemeral as clouds. We live as if there hadn't been a hundred thousand generations here before us, and another one hundred thousand were not still to come."
I love that. For all we think we individually matter, we are as sand.
So, how is it wrecking my life? In every way. It has reduced my ability to make money and have a job, it has reduced my ability to schedule an appointment with my doctor until several months, has reduced my ability to get work done on my house, supply chains no longer have items I always ordered, stores I loved have gone out of business, restaurants I regularly ate at are closed. It took away something from my kids. My life is gone. I am starting all over at mid-life.
The worst part to me is the mental toll. I feel an unspoken pressure for all of us to suck up our losses, ignore it, how can we be so frivolous? I continue to feel like nobody ever put forward someone to be a logical voice of reason, no plan of action we can hang our hopes on, no tentative path forward. It seemed when "experts" spoke, they just expressed disdain of others, and provoked fear by stating already known facts about the disease. There was never any discussion of a plan forward that would benefit us collectively. The "experts" seemed scattered in every direction and they still are. It is an epic clown show. I have no confidence anyone will turn this in a direction that benefits us collectively. I no longer think that is their objective.
As far as the way forward and the "experts", but be honest if we aren't paying attention to what this virus is, to when we last saw its like in 1918, to how to protect ourselves from it (not completely but a WHOLE LOT) , then to me that is more on us than on the experts. I am a liberal, and pretty much we enjoy whining about stuff a lot; but to me, whining in the face of a virus is an exercise in futility. I know what to do to protect myself. Now, Mr. Virus may get round that, but not easily. So I mask, I hand wash, I social distance, and I don't gather with others. That is to say I take responsibility more than putting it off on the expert. What I want from them is the PPE my medical workers must have.
As I said, I am lucky. No job in jeopardy, my kid's jobs not, either. No one trying to kick me out of my home because I can't pay rent. Most of the country isn't as lucky as I am.
But as to the experts, and the politicians, I only count on them to reassure, to lead by telling us to mask up, to get the best folks they can on committee, to make our own PPE, to figure a way to deliver a vaccine when the great minds get one. They can do no more than that, really.
This is tough, no question, but for me so much less tough than for so many others. This old nurse wishes somehow she was in the thick of it, but at 78 I had better not be. For me it amounts to the things I listed above; will be eating a lot of turkey on my own while family does the same in four different places, but so far that, and the fear of the whole thing, is the worst of it.
And how bizarre it is, isn't it? Almost dystopian. I worry for our economy going forward. For jobs, for the failure of like 80% of the restaurants in my city; and all dependent on them for a living.
All take care.
I've lived through worse. Losing my youngest son was/is worse and there is no vaccine against that. Having a narcissistic mother for 80 years of my life was/is worse. Both these things have affected and, in fact, shaped my life profoundly, and still do. I am anticipating that this virus will be a bad memory in a year or so which will fade Maybe I am too optimistic but I am hoping for that. Of course for anyone who has lost a loved one to the virus their life will be affected forever.
I didn’t know that you lost a son. I am so very sorry. No parent should ever have to bury their child. We expect them to bury us, not the other way around.
Get that flu shot, please. Even if you have to pay to do it at Walgreens. The one friend almost lost last year was not from anything but H1N1, the regular OLD flu. He was someone with underlying conditions that put down his immune system, and was actually afraid of flu shots, didn't get. Was on ventilator for a month, had to learn to walk and talk basically when off, and many times everyone including his wife, herself dealing with Ovarian Cancer, believed he would not make it. We all forget how many REGULAR FLU deaths we have in our country every year. We were lucky with Kaiser in that we could "drive through" in several spots in city.Just drive up and get that shot in our car.
And yes, appointments now just for regular blood work is a pain; only thing I can say is if we have our health everything else can be dealt with.
The funeral homes usually have families limit themselves to 10 people at the cemetery with masks and social distancing but that doesn't always happens. Sig-other will see crowds of people, most without masks within the group, and the person being buried had died from covid. Sadly, he's sold graves to families who lost an infant to covid.... to families who lost a teen to covid.... young people in their 20's, 30's, and 40's... recently a young fellow in his 50's who has 6 children.... and the elderly.
It's taking an emotional toll on him.
Alva - I am not avoiding the shot - my nearby drugstore offers them. I keep getting the sniffles which are probably allergies but they want you free of those before you come in. Thankfully I don't have any underlying medical issues and never had the flu very badly but still I intend to get to when I can. The labs here are closed to appointments. I saw the other day you could book at the last minute for a walk in which is odd. I have to call them but again wait till this attack of the sniffles is over. Health is so important.
ff - I can well imagine that your sig other is affected by his job and by seeing those who don't wear masks and social distance even while burying a victim of covid. I don't understand why some people don't get it in the face of such overwhelming evidence.
I know about the struggles of infertility. I had a bazillion complications. I had a four hour surgery for endometriosis that I signed a release for medical students to attend and film.
I had three failed in vitro fertilization attempts. I tried for years to conceive.
We adopted our first child, which I always wanted to do, even before the doctor told me that I couldn’t conceive a baby.
We were very happy as a family. All my dreams came true when I first looked into my baby’s eyes. We were overjoyed being parents to our beautiful daughter.
Then seven years later, out of the blue without any help from fertility doctors I got pregnant!
It was a high risk pregnancy. It was a long, bumpy road but we made it.
I am doubly blessed with both of my beautiful daughters!
I can’t imagine what you went through. That would be harder than anything else for me too.
Again, I am so very sorry.
I understand how we can get confused by the varying 'advice' coming from the government and 'experts'.
I go back to the advice that first came out regarding the quarantine. And, I can rely on my education that taught sterile techniques, how illnesses are spread, and other helpful procedures.
Now is not the time to relax your quarantine protocols. imo.
Recommit to hand washing and wearing a mask. Time to find out what 6 ft. away looks like. When someone is being nice and holding a door open with a smile (by standing in the doorway!), be brave enough to accept criticism and do not enter. Take 6 steps back! imo. Stand your ground until they leave.
Be safe.
Sorry for your loss, and all the anniversary of death sadness that brings.
As well as living with his absence all these years. ❤️️💔❤️️
I am sorry that you have to go through anniversary of your son passing away--I couldn't even imagine. 💗💔
They say time heals all wounds...that is not true, but what does heal is knowing he is in a better place waiting for you. Sorry for your loss.❤
Hugs!!
nhwm - thx and sorry for your pregnancy troubles too. Glad they ended on a happy note.
send thx it's the anniversaries, birthdays, special days and sometimes just a trigger of some sort, The missing never goes away, I agree with you this is the time to take real care by wearing a mask, social distancing, avoiding crowds washing hands etc. I stay in too.
shell thx. I know he is in a better place and that helps enormously and does time, but it still hurts sometimes.
ginger - the losses that we are experiencing due to covid may be bringing back past losses in our lives. Loss tends to work that way. A few times this year I went through a bad space over loss and part of it definitely was covid but some was other grief. ((((((hugs))))) I am glad you shared here.
also I believe in allowing your elderly parents that are still able bodied to live their own life. My mom is 89 years old and refuses to allow us to shop for her even during the pandemic. She wants to get out and understands the consequences if she gets the virus. I am not worried , she can do what she wants, it’s her life. The day is coming when she will be unable to do that anymore so I’ll let her enjoy it while she can.
However, my cousin, in her 50’s, contracted the virus. Seven weeks later she continues to have repercussions. She has missed almost 2 months of work, still battles fatigue and body aches. I understand the hardships of quarantine and isolation, but it angers me when others just “don’t want to understand” and fail to see that all people are at risk.
Hope your cousin recovers soon. Covid can wreck havoc long afterwards. I know someone that has never recovered his sense of taste and smell after five months. He still feels ‘off’ and has no appetite to speak of.
I am sorry for your loss and I am sorry to hear about your cousin.
I get angry when I hear people say that Covid is not real or see people not wearing their masks. I am not sure if people just don't get it or if these people are so wrapped up in 'their rights...what they want...and have NO compassion for their fellow man...just plain selfishness!'
Hugs to you!!
Darwinian, isn't it?
Interesting research on Covid.
Having a high fever could have the same result, but don't know for how long.
What is your plan. Do you have an O2 oximetry. I think I asked this once? You must have that, because any movement down into 80s means you get transported to hospital for meds, support.
I am so sorry.