Good morning,
I am new to the group and have been shoved into a journey of dealing with my mom. She has early onset frontal lobe dementia. She got remarried in 2007/2008 or so to her current husband. She currently lives with him and doesn't work and primarily watches game shows daily.
I have 2 older sisters and we received a message this morning that my mom's husband may be having to move to work, out of state. He asked her if she wanted to move with him, and she said she didn't want to move and wanted to live with my oldest sister. He sent a message to her letting her know the information above.
So I need some guidance... I don't know where to start.... what to do? We (my sisters and I) cannot accommodate her to come live with any of us. And a facility is way too expensive for any of us to afford. I don't know what I don't even know.... so anyone who can help or provide me resources or where to start with this would be so greatly appreciated.
I should also add, that she has no financial means, she is on SS but doesn't receive much.
TIA.
To answer your question....Yes, the 401k is a hypothetical asset.
When a husband is bailing, they cash out or hide their assets first.
It is a red flag that he is not responding to calls, texts, or e-mails.
Repeating: Someone needs to advocate for Mom. And yes, for both of them.
The call was ended and we have consulted an attorney and basically everyone said we don’t have a ton of options at this moment. But divorce is the probably the best option at this point and that it is critical that we all work together so this goes smoothly. We have all sent pleading messages to him to call us and work out a plan with absolutely no response.
Now we have NO IDEA what to do now... we have called out mom and she is ok. So we at minimum know that.
We became part of the statistic for elderly care. Mom has beginning dementia/ end stage kidney disease- can not walk along with other ailments
Dad can no longer take care of her
Yes married- limited income and a lot of other financial problems
But with a lot of hard
We got her Medi Cal.
Denied two or 3 times.
Went down to social worker instead of mail / email
And finally received benefits for long term.
I hope this helps
We were denied vetrerns benefits from aid and attendance because dad unfortunately didn’t serve in a war period of active duty
Dont give up
Also, if the marriage didn't happen until 2013, and they divorce now, FishyMom's mother will not be eligible to collect on her spouse's Social Security earnings when he reaches full Social Security age. That could be helpful in four or five years.