I've posted before about in-law care-giving. Aged mother in law, lives in same town.
We are at the tail end of a visit from sister in law from several states away. Sister in law has been here for 3 weeks caring for her mother. A much welcome respite.
It had been discussed, prior to her arrival here on the scene, she would be talking it over with her mother, to try and get her mom to come up to her home, for a stay of maybe a few months.
This, in my opinion, is absolutely essential, as I am expecting twin grand-children, due in about 1 month (if they don't come sooner, as is the case a lot of times with multiples pregnancies). The expectant mother also lives locally here, and has a 4 year old daughter. I will be on that front, helping .. as much as is needed. And not on the front with mother in law and care-giving, and have made that as obvious and apparent as I know how to make it. It would be great if mother in law would agree to go to her daughter's home (several states away) for a period of a few months .. and allow me the latitude to put my energies where I want them to be, on my daughter who will have had a c-section .. and my grand-daughter (4 years old) and new twin babies.
Nothing doing. Mother in law has dug in her heels, and will not hear of it, going to stay with her daughter for any period of time.
What are her reasons?
In mother in law's defense ... her daughter ... I don't even know how to describe it. I will say that when her daughter comes here to visit, she all but breathes for her mother and if she could find a way to do that, she'd do that too. She is the most nervous nelly, never sit down - ever ... worry wart, do everything, all the time .. person that I've ever encountered.
A great example, as I was taking her to the airport yesterday for her departure, . I reached into the fridge to grab myself a bottled water and shut the fridge and turned to walk away, as I've done for all of my 50 plus years living on this earth .. and she said to me, "Oh make sure that fridge shut". WTH???? Like I don't know how to shut a fridge? That's just a small, very small slice of what she is ... how she is.
She is so very hyper-vigilant, seeing to every minute details down to it's finest most minuscule point, fine tooth comb, questioning every point along the way, "should we do thus and so, but maybe if we do thus and so, then such and such will happen, maybe we should do it thus and so .. but then so and so might happen, maybe we shouldn't do thus and so, but do "x" "y" and "z" instead, but if we don't do it that way then ..........", on and on and on and on it goes. And usually in hyper warp speed, as to every single friggin thing.
If her mother moans .. "what's wrong mother?, why did you moan, are you alright?".
Mother: "Yes, I'm fine, I was just sighing out loud".
Sister: "Why did you sigh? Are you hurting, are you sure you're alright, why are you sighing what's the matter?"
Mother: "For God's sake __________________, I was just sighing, .. calm down, I'm fine".
Sister: "Are you sure, .. because if something is wrong you need to tell me".
Mother: "Everything is fine, I'm fine".
Sister: "Are you sure, we did a lot yesterday, did we do too much, maybe we shouldn't of gone to two doctors in one day .. was that too much for you, are you too tired now, maybe we need to move those other doctor appointments so we won't have two in one day, is that too much for you, for one day .. is that why you were sighing .. what's wrong, are you sure you're alright".
Hopefully that kinda gives a little bit of a snapshot of what goes on when sister is in the ring directing things.
So in mother in law's defense.. I do get it, why she wouldn't be chomping at the bit to go to her daughter's home.
BUT ....
The only experience she has with her daughter, in the last years as mother in law has aged and been unable to go anywhere much, has been the daughter coming here, periodically, for periods of about 3 weeks at a stretch. When her daughter comes here, she moves heaven and earth for her mother and then some, and doesn't sit down, doesn't stop .. the WHOLE ENTIRE TIME.
Is there a possibility maybe (as I said to mother in law, when she expressed that isn't happening - talking to me - her going to her daughters .. ever) .. could it be possible that maybe if you would go to where she lives .. she'd be more busy managing her own life in that setting than your's and she would get out of your backside .. and not be as hyper-drive-vigilant as you experience in her, when she's here, could that be possible.
The daughter is retired, lives several states away. Does come here, generally, every few months .. and stays for a period of about 3 weeks at a stretch. I wish I could make a list of everything the daughter did when here this last time, but it would take up the whole character allotment:
Don't know why ...
Nobody has asked me to do one single thing .. I haven't even talked to any of them anymore.
I guess it's just the whole thing hanging over my head like a guillotine ... waiting .. watching for the dreaded *when* the circus arrives here in town ..
I don't know when. That would necessitate that I make a phone call to check up on progress on that end .. and mending and so forth. To do so .. puts me in the line of fire to hear more of the .. what I consider .. lunacy .. and I don't have the patience for it.
Yes it should be her son that is making those kinds of gesture to reach out and get a read on the current status and progress thereof. But .. as is par for the course, that doesn't happen .. and I don't ride herd on him any longer to do so, thus it doesn't get done.
Just in a foul mood today over it all.
I don't know why in the name of God they would be coming back this way just for SIL to bring the care show to this corner of the country vs .. her own corner of the country. Makes no sense to me.
The lunacy of it all. I was talking with a friend the other day .. and it just brings it all back full circle how crazy all of it is. When the friend suggested .. she'd already questioned why isn't a facility in progress as to placement for MIL . and I'd answered accordingly .. and her suggestion .. "Next time she is hospitalized .. you guys need to make certain things are routed to a Rehab stint . and from there .. you can stand the ground that she isn't safe to live alone and let the social workers figure out how to get her placed".
SIGH SIGH and more SIGH
Told her, "been there/done that .. SIL pulled the plug on any Rehab stint .. couldn't bear to leave her mother in such a dreadful setting with any number of others there inpatient .. and in such a state that they were so bad off .. it was far too depressing a setting to leave her mom . .and she pulled the plug on it and took her home".
The friend's response: "Then she needs to be the one to take this on and care for her".
SIGH SIGH AND AGAIN SIGH ...........
"Yup!".
I have no idea how puppy pads work .. and an old dog .. I have no experience with any of it, nor snow on the ground to have to try to shovel. But it probably makes way more sense than SIL would ever consider. She HAS TO take the path of that which makes no sense .. always.
Blame your foul mood on the Full Moon.
This is not a nice thought but it could be a reality for MIL. Sometimes folks that have shingles are left with residual nerve pain for weeks, months, years.
I certainly don’t hope that is the case for MIL and I’m sure you don’t either. But, you may be dreading the return that may not be happening anytime soon.
By the way, have your Shingles completely cleared.
Interestingly enough .. I notice it more when I get:
A) hot and I do this is FL
or
B) tired
You can talk to DH til you are blue in the face and nothing will happen. What will cause action is for you to stay in close contact with DH while you are in SC. The moment he leaves her alone for an hour or more, you could call FL APS and tell them your concerns - that she's a vunerable elder being left alone and may be in immediate danger. "Immediate Danger" seems to be the verbiage that gets instant action. Let the social workers show up with a policeman or EMTs and see how fast she's placed. With SIL out of the way, it has a chance to stick.
At best, flying with MIL is a nightmare--just getting her physically to the airport and then manuvering her into her seat---then to sit for 4 hours on the ground and end up not leaving after all. This was DH's weekend.
DH can walk just fine and is a "million-miler" so he is very used to these kinds of airport dramas. MIL? No so much....
Could MIL deal with this? Chicago gets some nasty weather, no doubt, and yes, he said it was below 0 the other day. How in the sweet name of all that's holy is SIL going to get MIL through all this?
His comment was that he'd fly almost anywhere in winter but IL. Hates the airport and the constant delays, etc. Almost as much as he hates yappy "service dogs" that old ladies haul around.
I think SIL has just totally taken leave of her senses. Just....gone. I don't think anybody here has anything but shock and awe over her over-care of MIL. It's truly, just unfathomable.
As soon as you have a definite return date--you get yourself out of FL. Go visit your mom for a week. Let DH step up and do. You don't need to be involved in the ugly that's coming down the line.
So whenever we have a request we do not want to accommodate - he says nothing - which leaves the impression that we said Yes. Often, I have been the bad guy when they talk to me about it and I say "no". Then the @#$# storm is even bigger because they had thought we said yes when DH didn't engage.
Your DH is willing to leave this all on SIL and is blaming her for not moving back to FL earlier in her life - to take care of THEIR mom. He also had a tendency to head for the woods with his gun, to go churching, go to work (I am supporting the family, darn it!!), or helping orphan boys. Thus as the many MIL issues come up - it is "Dorker, for Chrissakes, it is only XXXX and I'm YYYY-ing, you need to...." I have seen nothing in his behavior that will indicate any other treatment in the future.
I believe SIL can only see to getting MIL/poochy back in the house to stop MIL bi#ching about IL ALL OF THE TIME and exhausting SIL with her never ending needs. She is not seeing beyond that finish line. Once she is back in FL - I have to think that she'll see that MIL can't live alone. I don't know your SIL well enough, but she doesn't sound like the type to say "enough" and bail on a sick old lady. BUT I could see her deluding herself if MIL has not had episodes of one kind or another to feel she can be on her own with a TEAM in place, and then go again.
Leaving the same mess you all were in a year ago. And people chewing you out for not doing more. "Don't you love MIL? You'll be old some day. For Chrissakes...." . You may have told them over and over that you are out. We'll see.
Take care of yourself and plan to be very busy and out of town when MIL comes home......
Slated for February 3rd.
SIL mentioning what a nightmare it's been .. as to getting all the "i's" dotted and "t's" crossed. Travel with a disabled person and accommodations thereof and getting all the required paperwork in order for Poochy.
So we shall see.
Should we take bets at this point.
Will there be another malady that yet again up-ends any travel? Or will this time be the charm and go off without a hitch? Any takers?
Weather, illness, chitapalooza, doggie's papers aren't up to par, too many moving parts in this. (You know it won't be MIL's doing--she wants to come home.....
My DH is flying THROUGH Chicago that day...I feel like warning him :)
So---SIL has EVERYTHING in place there, right? Powerwash that driveway, start up that car (did it ever get its tags??) load the fridge with food for every possibility...wrangle that washer...set up the "TEAM".....wipe the dog's behind...run that hamster wheel and then..go back to IL alone?
Does ANYONE think that MIL can spend even ONE NIGHT alone? It's not going to happen.
What, if anything, was accomplished by the 3 months 'horror' of being in IL? Is she a lot better? Stronger? Healthier?
I think not.
Dorker--when you know for certain they are actually on the plane--run. Run away. Go see mom. Just don't be a part of the madness that this has become. DH can handle this (Bwahahahahaha) ....just DON'T get involved.
MIL, SIL and DH need to finally face up to the reality of "cannot live alone any longer".
It's hard; I know. Saying "no, we can't do this anymore, Mom" is the hardest thing I've EVER done in life.
On the flight - he had a major fecal incontinence blowout - up the back of his depends and out onto his seat AND her seat - liquidy mess, horrible stench. The flight crew wrapped him in a blanket so he could move to the front where they pulled the curtain and got him changed and cleaned up - no room in the bathroom. My friend doing the work because the flight crew was not going to touch the filth even with gloves. My friend then went to wipe down the seats as best she could.
Dad miserably embarrassed, passengers very angry but quiet, major horrible situation. Let's hope this doesn't happen on the plane with MIL.
Kimber, isn't it interesting that your friend was expected to clean up and take care of her father, when we sometimes hear on these boards how the SONS can't be expected to take of Mama's personal hygiene? Double standard, I say.
MIL will do her very best to be healthy enough to get on the plane - no sabotaging her departure, because she really wants to return to her FL home. And then never leave again.
Unfortunately .. or fortunately . .depends on how one looks at it .. .he is exceedingly a private person and . has my stepmom who is of the same cloth .. and their possible "need" for my hands on services in the coming days .. pretty nil .. would be about my guess ..
Thus .. my having an exit strategy to the MIL circus . not one in this scenario I'm afraid.
Oh I will be going to visit him as he convalesces .. and bring them a meal .. and/or a sandwich .. but hauling him for doc visits . being on site as HHC comes and goes and providing much input .. not something they will even consider making me any part of .. and stepmom .. while she too is aged .. and her memory is slipping . .she is .. pretty darn capable .. and fiercely private and independent, .. as is my dad ..
I don't have the availability to high-tail it outta town .. not presently. Scheduled to work some .. over the coming weeks .. and so can't just be gone . .and not here in town.
But work . .obligations thereof . .will negate how much I can "participate" in any MIL circus.
I had to laugh out loud .. at any notion that it will take a hospitalization ..
HA!
She's had what ..??... by my count, at least 4 hospitalizations since this column was initiated by me (unless I'm forgetting some .. and there may be more) .. and each time .. it should've been routed to Rehab and from there, to placement, at least IMO, but SIL sees to it . that doesn't happen .. ever.
SIL can have at it .. she can continue her c'giving role .. in this corner of the country .. as she was doing in her corner of the country .. knock yourself out!
SIL won't KNOW that you don't need to be "hands on" for your dad. In fact, saying that you will be tied up with his care is not even close to a lie. He and his wife are not youngsters and will probably appreciate some time from you. Even if it's just some help with errands or housekeeping stuff. SIL doesn't need to know ANYTHING.
Certainly, SIL, of all people, should understand how very, very, very important it is to be THERE when you LO needs help. (Did that sounds snarky? Because I meant it to be.)
I am going to get them from the airport, not DH.
Here's how all that happened.
As we all know, they don't "talk" to one another. In fact, I don't know when DH has called there just to shoot the breeze and check on things .. I used to prompt that kinda thing but long since have quit. I don't even inquire any longer ..
So .. SIL can no longer text me .. but she can email me, that's what she did. Inquiring of me, what is on my agenda in the coming days/weeks as to being able to retrieve them from the airport if she can get a flight scheduled to come this way. Wanting to know my work schedule, etc.
I answered that email . and told her my upcoming work schedule, and mentioned that my dad would be having his long awaited back surgery .. and outside of that and my Wednesdays which aren't good, ever .. (church functions on my agenda), .. I am open.
It felt too adversarial to me, . to defer with some kind of "oh gee, really you should check with your brother .. he'll need to be the one to be available to make sure you get from the airport to MIL's house".
Yes there is Uber, taxi's, etc .. but .. it just feels too adversarial to put her in that predicament w/a mom who is all but disabled and a dog .. and all their plunder, etc ..
Feels too adversarial to say to her, .. "oh gee, get with your brother and figure out what his agenda is .. he'll need to be the one to work that".
I don't wish to be adversarial with these folks .. I just don't want to be hands on c'giving .. and have that abundantly clear and stand by it . firmly entrenched.
So there is this email that has the give and take of my availability to get them from their airport vs my other commitments .. and so forth being worked.
She finally decides on a flight that is a Sunday, February 3rd and imparts that info to me .. and fine .. that works.
Now .. I had "thought" (don't think . that's the first problem) ... my thoughts . "oh that's great .. I'll just send DH . that's a Sunday .. it's after church .. and so he won't have any other commitments .. will be available and HE can go get them, or we'll both go . whatever .. but it won't be solely on me ..
I thought. There's my first problem .. I shouldn't have presumed.
I have barely seen DH. He is into the first of what will be about two weeks of a project that has him essentially out of town working. Originally, he'd said he was going to stay there, where the project is .. and not be coming back and forth, too much travel time .. but he has opted, for whatever his reasons to travel back and forth daily.
That means he is generally up and gone before the sun comes up daily . and is back home at night .. generally around 9 PM.
I have barely even seen or talked to him to run any of this past him.
I mean .. afterall .. the flight .. is now slated/scheduled, and it's a Sunday afternoon .. why would that present any problem .. I'll just mention it when I think of it, .. no need to shoot up flares and get this the upmost attention.
SIGH
Until .. yesterday AM when I did mention it, him on the way out the door .. (before daylight) .. "oh by the way your sister and company .. they have their flight reserved, .. returning here Sunday February 3rd at about 1 or 1:30 . so .. you can go to the airport after church to go get them.
Response: "No .. I am scheduled to take the guy from church out to lunch that day . the guy coming in from Haiti .. they've got different Sundays that they'll be taking turns .. to take one or another of the missionaries out to lunch that'll be in town in February .. and I signed up for that Sunday .. you and I are to take him to lunch that day".
Me: "What? I didn't know anything about this .. you didn't tell me I'm signed up to take somebody to lunch with you?".
Him: I forgot to tell you .. it's not a problem .. I'll take the guy and his wife to lunch ..
DH: "It's not a problem . I'll take the guy and his wife to lunch after church and you go get mom and SIL and B from the airport and take them home .. it's not a problem".
Me: "Well damn DH .. I thought since she scheduled it for a Sunday .. that you'd be available .. I knew you wouldn't be able to on a work day . but figuring it after church on a Sunday you'd be able to do it .. not me".
DH: "Well I figured you'd be available to go to lunch with us .. I didn't know they were planning on returning that day .. or I'd of not spoken up for that date . but are looking for different folks, to take these missionary folks .. each Sunday out to lunch after church .. and so I signed on for that one .. the next weekend someone else has it .. I didn't know they were flying in that day .. nobody told me".
So there ya have it ..
It has already gone sideways .. and it's ME that is picking them up .. alone.
It's not worth having a big huge dust up over it.
As I said .. I don't wish to be adversarial with these people . unless there is expectation that I will now go cart doggie to various and sundry appts .. and/or MIL . and looking after her. Then, yes .. adversarial for sure.
Ugh!
Right. The next time your SIL asks what your schedule is etc etc, this is how you respond:
"Why do you ask?"
If she wants to ask you to do something for or with her, she can make a reasonable request in the ordinary way; and if you agree that it's reasonable and it happens to suit you, then of course you will be happy to help.
But she may NOT and you must NOT think that you have to give your reasons. Whether or not you agree to pick them up at the airport is for you to decide. You owe NOBODY an explanation, let alone excuses.
I answered accordingly.
I guess ... had she made the plane reservations for a Tuesday at the same time .. and it a workable time for me .. I'd of known for certain .. without question . it will be ME and solely me going to the airport .. as DH will be working and unavailable ... more than likely .. and it wouldn't have been any issue ..
I guess the bit of a conundrum of it all was in my presumption that since she booked it for a Sunday . my having PRESUMED .. on my own ... "gee that works great, I'll send DH".
Little did I know . he too was working his own agenda .. and what will be pulling at he/us .. as to commitments ..
It's somewhat annoying ... in that . the very first thing . the first damn thing .. as to them arriving back this way .. falls in my corner, solely .. to deal with.
But .. partly . that's my own fault ..
I could've deferred to him .. "gee, get with your sister .. she's looking at returning this way .. and I am not interested in being a part of any of that .. that's up to you guys to figure out what works".
But that "feels" to me, more adversarial than needs to be the case.
So I'm not letting this specific circumstance chew me up .. I'll just deal with it.
You are setting yourself up for this! This is DH churchin' again instead of taking care of Mom. Time to say no and mean it. "SIL, I did not realize we had a previous commitment that we can't get out of. You'll have to get a taxi."
You don't do anything unless DH has effort in first.
As for your dad & stepmom, “intensely private” + stepmom’s memory slipping is the perfect storm for All Kinds Of Crazy in the wake of dad’s back surgery. This is just the type of disruption in routine that can trigger a ripple effect for older folks with their issues. Especially memory issues (stepmom).
And they will lie lie lie to you on the phone. Been there, been snowed by that.
I strongly recommend that you squeeze in a visit with dad & stepmom. You are projecting their reactions and recuperation based on who they were - not who necessarily who they are now.
It’s hard to wrap your head around, I know. But it’s quite likely.
Like, “out of nowhere” they might stop cooking. Or (at least) one of them might develop increased anxiety. Or become very oppositional. Or show a marked decrease in the ability to maintain the household overall.
I still shake my head at how much I overestimated my mom & stepdad in their later years. I also (now) realize just how strategic Mom was about keeping me out of their house. So much “busy” talk. Frosted with a huge layer of “we’re fine, we’re fine.” Meanwhile. Not so fine.
Hang in there, Dorker. Your enduring “constant” is that your family is OK, and it’s those darn in-laws who keep sucking all the air out of the room. When it becomes time to re-write that script, the discomfort will be profound. For all.
I’m not wishing this upon you, Dorker. I just don’t want you to be blindsided, if you discover that dad & stepmom are struggling behind the scenes.
I’m not big on regret, but I now realize how much my in-laws’ noise and obvious self-sabotage condtioned me to mis-read my parents’ quieter, more passive red flags.
Dorker, my dear. You have agreed to drive from the airport. Then I'm sure MIL will need a bunch of groceries - are you going to get those? The damn specialty dog food and treats? Another errand?
I feel for you already
I don't know that Dorker wants to commit to help her father that much. Didn't he pretty much ignore her after he split from her mother? Surely she won't sink to the level of steppin' and fetchin' that she did for Narcissa?
Uber is a good word.
Lyft is also a good word.
SIL is competent enough to download the apps into her phone and USE THEM.
Maybe DH should haul the missionaries to the airport to pick up MIL and SIL and they can all have a jolly time seeing how amazing DH is. So attentive to his mother!
In actuality he has ONE WEEK to find someone else to feed the missionaries. THEY of all people, should understand that FAMILY COMES FIRST.
DH has talked some big talk, but he never visited MIL in IL when she was so miserable and unhappy. He stepped as widely away from that hot mess as he could.
Dorker--please--stand your ground. You know that they feel you are the "instigator" (or whatever term they used) in this ongoing circus. SIL is simply using you. And she will ask you to stick around and either babysit MIL or run the grocery run yourself... and, we're back to post #1.
These women DO NOT HEAR YOU. DH does, but he's opting out.
We all know that your heart is very tender---but you do this one thing, and it will appear that you are totally supportive of the return and joyous and ready to step back into the madness.
Sadly, SIL HAS to see that MIL living alone in FL is a thing of the past and you cannot, cannot, cannot help any more.
Either DH steps up mightily (and we know that won't happen) or MIL goes into AL. OR SIL lives with MIL for the rest of time......
Right NOW is the crucial moment for you to make good on all the anger and frustration you have felt for so long. AND all the good advice you've received.
In most situations, it's just an airport run. In this instance, it's a huge step back into the madness.
Please, Dorker---as a friend---do not pick them up. Tell DH you simply are not doing it. No explanations. Just No. And he can handle his family as he sees fit.
If this were me, it would be a deal breaker. I'd leave my DH before I would kowtow to his crazy mother and her nastiness. He knows it, now, too.
Dorker, you were concerned about appearing adversarial. But these people are not a bit concerned about you, and you’re really not going to have a choice but draw boundaries and deal with their rubbish. Time for you to go back to referring SILs requests and missives to DH. Groceries? Get them delivered or SIL can send DH a shopping list. What’s that movie misquote...Hold on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I wonder if he considered at least visiting them all after his lunch?
Too bad. That's part of the care taking of a frail old lady that can't care for herself . there are two of them, she and her DH. I'm sure one of them can run out and grab a pizza .. if neither of them has the time to do a grocery run. Not doing it. Or .. they can talk to DH .. and maybe he'll be happy to go with list in hand, once he dispenses with his luncheon with the missionary folks.
No fresh food for poochy and treats. Oh well . .too bad .. guess he'll have to do with whatever is on hand, til the vet's office re-opens the next day and that too can be on someone's errand list ... not mine.
No, we pick our battles. I'm not gonna die on the hill on this one. It's not all that important to me ..
It's a matter of going to the airport when called to let me know the plane has touched down. By the time I drive that distance .. they will have had time to disembark .. and make their way to the luggage carousel .. and grab their luggage and wait outside for me . it takes about 30 mins for me to drive to the airport.
I pull up to the curb .. pick up a couple of suitcases and load them . and wait for them to get in the car .. then drive them 30 more mins in another direction to MIL's house . and then .. drop them . .and whatever luggage I haul in . .and say my niceties and then depart..
Compared to what used to be the case with these folks .. and all my involvement .. this is a walk in the park.
There was a day that I'd of concerned myself with the fact that they are flying in .. and will have no food for dinner, so I'd bring them some dinner from whatever we'd had the night before .. and make sure they have covered plates. I might've even gone to the grocery in advance, to make sure there are a few things to get by for the next couple of days . some lunch meat .. bread . milk .. cereal ..
Nope . not doing that ..
Compared to the knowledge that the supposed plan is that SIL will be with her mom 24/7 in attendance to it all .. non stop .. sans when she can ever get her brother to stand in her stead (not my problem) .. going to get them from the airport .. is a cake walk.
To me, that just feels like being ornery and obstinate .. unnecessarily so.
Nope .. with this one move I can assure that .. I am not being hateful or otherwise hard to get along with .. when it's then thrust at me, to step up to more. "No . now I didn't act disagreeable when it was time to go get them from the airport DH . that allowed you to be able to do what you needed to do . with the missionary folks you'd agreed to entertain .. this is your mom .. you go see to it" (whatever "it" turns out to be, and it's coming).
I'm sort of . in a way .. playing my cards right, if nothing else.
Yes they will be arriving there with not a stick of a thing to eat .. so figure it out .. you have a brother that lives here .. call him .. or figure it out ..
Yes they will be arriving here with .. I guess .. whatever they squirreled away in a suitcase in the way of foods for poochy . Guess one of them will think to put away enough and bring it to last a couple of days til they can get to the vet for all the "specialty vegetarian dog foods/treats". Not doing it.
Compared to how things used to be .. the knowledge SIL would be here running her hamster wheel .. as fast and furious as she could go . and then depart .. and it's on me ..
This is nothing. I'll go to the airport .. all by myself ..
Let them ask for anything resembling standing in for all the c'giving .. just let them ask ..
Nope. That's a full sentence. Nope.