Mama's had cancer, a heart attack, heart surgery. She's hypothyroid, hypertensive, diabetic, has pulmonary hypertension and suffers with depression. Most of the time, we make it through. Right now I'm sick and can't afford care for myself. It struck me how alone we are when I needed some things from the grocery store and didn't have anyone to go. It's just Mama and me. Older sister won't help and two other siblings are hundreds of miles away. Older sister's grown children aren't allowed by older sister to have contact with their grandmother because my older sister is angry with me.
She hasn't even tried to contact our mother since last October, so how is she of any use at all to Mama? She's not.
And I've swallowed my pride. I've even put up with my sister's physical and emotional abuse just for my mother's sake. I've done all I can do. And now, when I reach out, I get kicked in the teeth by even strangers.
As they say here in the South Bronx, you have to "squash the beef" with your sister; for your mom's sake. If sis is working as a full-time nurse, you must understand she needs to have a life too outside the work setting. Otherwise she'll burn out and be of no use to her patients or your mom.
While you muster the courage it takes to face someone who makes your blood boil and finally resolve your deep-rooted differences, apply for public assistance -- and a home health aide -- so you can go back to work. You'll feel better about yourself and the bone you have to pick with your sister will look a lot smaller.
Wish you the best Maya, and stay in touch ... often.
-- ED
I was told to reach out and I tried. I've tried at church, I've tried in the family and now, here. And every single time, I get blown off.