That is the last thing I want to hear. also people at work ask how my husband is i tell them very weak and depressed. they say very hateful. well he isnt going to get well overnight. that is like telling someone who is walking through the desert and is thirsty and tired and worn out that you are not going to get out of the desert overnight it will take a long time. they offer no help. no water no nothing. i would rather they just keep their mouth shut. i am so tired of the comments. i dont know if my husband will ever get back to normal and be well. i do know i love him with all my heart. i know there is nothing i would not do for him. he is my heart and i love him so much. i am just tired.
i ve been to church many years ago and didnt care too much for preacher pointin fingers at whoever showed up , i thought we re not suppose to judge poeple ...
sanity is a commodity that is fleeting when you are someones 24/7/365 everything caregiver. Love, Yes. Duty Yes, easy Hell no!
you are a brave soul and your Hubby and Kids are lucky to have you. My heart goes out to you. i'm here. every day. because this is my only link to sanity amongst people who can even conceive of what we go through as caregivers. Keep Going strong. Vent here all you want and we will listen. I will listen. ~ nutz
I've spent 20 years in the trenches. I know how hard and abusive it is. My life has been threatened twice. My wife has suffered much verbal abuse some of which was exactly like her family of origin. Our two boys have been made to feel like orphans. We've hardly been to church on a regular basis for the last 7 years, carry a lot post traumatic church experience pain which means that when our buttons get pushed we just stay away from church. We are still Christians, but not so religious and we enjoy the freedom to live as normal people. Eastern TN, Eastern KY, all of WV, Western NC, remote rural areas of NC, anything almost east of I-95 NC, etc. but even in the urban areas too. Not everything that glitters about a church means it's warm and loving on the inside.
The theme of your thread goes right along with a part of my poem on Path Through Tragic Pain.
"Words . . . . are meant as a tool, but wrongly used are just plain cruel."
While there very well may be insights gain along the path, to tell someone in pain that is why they are there only adds to the pain. I don't like pat answer Christian statements either nor does the author of Walking Towards Hope -Experiencing God in a Time of Brokenness. While it is not about caring for an aging parent, it is one of the most honest and transparent books dealing with suffering that I've ever read. I just wished that his wife could have had more to say in the book. This is most definitely not one of those 'before I gave all this mess over to God, life was hell, but since giving it all to Jesus, it's just been heaven every day" While their faith is helping them, it is not keeping away the pain and that's real.
Lately I've been thinking about prayer. I know Jesus asked his disciples to pray with him, but they could not even stay awake, and then abandoned him. So we have one who understands how it feels to be rejected by those whom he holds most dear. Even his mother didn't recognize him... So, whether it's a few or 600, there is one who understands...and sends his HS to comfort us. Sometimes we're even entertaining angels unawares.
I think that I took offense at people who I called "chirpy" because I thought they were just trying to brush me off when I shared my frustrations with them. The truth is: what can you say to someone who is in the middle of chaos? - everything sounds like platitudes and "chirpiness" Some of my longtime friends disappeared, but I made new ones who don't mind that I have this responsibility in my life now. Most relatives scattered, but a few call my Mom everyday. Those are my gems and I am thankful for them. Everyone says that you are not given more than you can handle (although, somedays it doesn't feel that way) but I can honestly say that I would not exchange this experience. It is the right thing to do in every way.
Good luck...and wishing you lighter days.
Thank you for your response. I dont remember any passing around of a plate. there was a donation plate that sat up by the pulpit, but it wasn't passed around. this church was a small one, small congregation, etc. and as I stated before, this was my fault because I am the one who took her all the way to texas to attend. it was not a large televised thing at all, I believe that the people there truly believed she was healed, as did I. Through no fault of theirs, it didn't happen. They were very nice people who had absolutely nothing to gain, besides maybe being witness to a healing event.
Thank you once again for taking the time for your input. I read each and every post that pops up in my email.
Have a Nice Day ! ~ Nutz
I believe in God, however I am a skeptic when it comes to organized religion. The theatrics of "faith healers" get adrenaline flowing to mask the pain and can make people feel better in the way an athlete or a soldier can still perform even though they are badly injured. You mention your mother making regular donations and I imagine this faith healer requested that everyone be generous when the plate was passed around. God doesn't care how much you donate and since he is using the mask of religion he cannot be held liable for the damage, both physical and psychological, that he does. I do believe he will answer to a higher power eventually.
lovbob
You know what my hubby's mom said about crazy? It's not a drive (driving me crazy) but a short walk!
I love all you other ladies, too! Maybe even the guy. LOL Hope you're all doing OK! Now what shall we all pray for?
kinda scared me.. it was really wierd.. I could hear this lofty, beautiful voice coming from Moms room, it was faint, but really high pitched, perfect tone and singing that Beautiful Song.
I had been having one of those cying jag days.. you guys know the sort, and was really really sad today,, Until I heard that angelic voice... I know I KNOW... Im Nutz~ so what.. .:)
Hugs to you and Mom, too!