I am the oldest of 4 sisters and I have taken care of our mother in her home for 10 years. She has multiple health issues, including dementia, diabetes, incontinence, seizure disorder, heart valve replacement, and strokes. Her safety awareness is absolutely zero and since she is stubborn, she goes ahead and gets up from her wheelchair to walk around without letting me know. Sometimes she falls and 3 years ago broke her hip. I have rails up all around the house for her to grab onto just in case. Recently mom went into the hospital due to stroke-like symptoms and now is in a rehab facility. My youngest sister called two mornings ago and said "there is absolutely no reason why mom should EVER fall", and she said that I should be sitting next to mom every minute of the day that she is awake, and use a baby monitor at night in case mom should get up to use her commode (I have it next to her bed). I am blown away by that phone call. I am stunned. She sees mom about 2x a year and has flatly refused to take care of her for even an afternoon or overnight, so that I may get some time off, because "she has to work". I could go on and on, but I really need some ideas as to how to respond to her idea of perfect caregiving.
I haven't had one day off for a year now so I decided to hire a live in that will care for my mom while I can catch up on 1 years worth of things that have been ignored. They said they would watch my mom at my moms house but not mine which they change their mind hourly. That won't happen. I stopped believing in my family that we are family cause I soon found out were not. Family does not do this to each other. Make one person the sacrificial lamb. I would not do that to anyone else because that's not who I am. So I woke up and seen the real picture and that was step out of my families box and hire help and stop wasting my precious time on them. Your a great person doing what u r doing and don't waste any more time focusing on what they r telling u what ur not doing.
God bless you