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Sdias, have you asked yourself what people who have health challenges like your mom do who do not have a child (or anyone) to care for them? There are ways she can become independent and get care. People do it all the time. I agree with the others who say to tell her you will be moving on. She's NOT going to like it (at first) so don't ask her how she feels about it. I'm sure in her heart she wants the best for you. Make sure you give her lots of assurances that you will help get her situated before you leave. Try not to enable her, though. Enabling is doing something for someone even though they are able to do for themselves. Wishing you a wonderful future!
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Alva’s suggestion is very good. Accompany her to the doctor if you can so you and she will be prepared to know what lies ahead for her regarding her care.

Lealonnie is correct too. I also feel it should be presented as matter of fact instead of a suggestion. I have always felt more comfortable with this approach because it erases any doubt. It’s clear cut.

Most of all, be at peace with your decision. Please don’t allow guilt to cause you to alter your choices. Stay on track with this and things will fall into place.
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My question is, do u feel u have enabled Mom? What does her doctor say about her recovery? Diabetes is not a disabling disease if you take care of yourself.

I think you need to get ur ducks in a row before you do anything. Is your Mom on disability? Is she considered low income? Can she afford someone to come in and help with the drains? Are the drains temporary?

If Mom fits the criteria, she maybe able to get Medicaid homecare. Check with her insurance to see if they pay for a nurse if doctor orders it.

Then you need to talk to siblings. Tell them its time for them to help out. That its time for you to a life of ur own.
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Sounds very difficult.

Like need says, try to find a caregiver that can help, so you can move forward with life.

Wish you all the best
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It surprises me that your mother is not speaking to you about the need for you to move on and have your own life. It is time for the two of you to visit the doctor, call in social services and discuss what needs to be discussed so that you are able to have a life. I am sorry, but it isn't / should not be required that you give up your life to your Mom. It is admirable that you have done so much. But it is time now. I am wishing you both every luck. This will not be easy and this will not be without pain for BOTH of you. I am just so very sorry. Not everything can be fixed perfectly and without pain.
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I think you need to present the situation to your mother as a matter of fact rather than as a topic open for discussion; ie: I'll be moving out and on with my life now mother, vs. I would like to move out now, mother, how do you feel about that? Let her know how much you love her, but that it's important for you to have your own life now in your own home, etc. Ask her how she would like you to help her coordinate her care now that you'll be gone. You can call an Agency and hire someone to come in every day for a few hours, for example, or maybe just every other day. Here is where she can give her input and suggestions.

Best of luck!
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First of all, you are a loving daughter. I am sure your mother appreciates your help since you speak of having a close relationship.

You do need to move forward with your life. There are opportunities waiting for you after you graduate. Even before you graduate you need to be researching and planning for your future.

Be kind and honest with your mom. Tell her that you were glad that you have been able to help her. Tell her that you feel a close bond with her and that is why you feel that she will understand that it is time for you to put forth the effort to ensure a promising future.

Thank her for raising you to become the responsible adult that you have become.

I have two daughters near your age and I want them to live their own lives. That is the ultimate goal In parenting. Your mom realizes that you will need to tend to your own needs.

Look into suitable caregivers that will help care for her needs and I am sure that she won’t feel as if you are kicking her to the curb.

Best wishes to you and your mom and I wish you all the best regarding your future endeavors.
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I'm a mother (a few years older than your mom) of two adult children (a few years older than you). Although we're close, I'd hate to mess up their lives by expecting them to be my caregivers.

I don't know how you should have the talk with your mom about you leaving, but I definitely think you should leave. Perhaps ask your siblings if they will be part of the (continuing) conversation.
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Just be honest, and firm. She cant really expect someone as young as you to sacrifice what could literally be decades of their life caregiving.

If she resists or complains, oh well. You have a life to live, move out and live it! Also big props for being so successful in school with so much on your shoulders.
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