Advice for elderly father who doesn't want to be without dog?
My 82 year old father is declining quickly. Since my mother passed of Alzheimers 4 years ago he's been down and depressed and failed to take care of himself. He's lost a ton of weight, hardly eats, never leaves the house and sleeps most of the day. He has severe arthritis pain and neuropathy (non diabetic) in his legs and feet, so mobility is a big problem. I've got to do something for him, he's just fading away and gets worse every week.
I'd like to move him in with me, my husband and 3 teen sons. We have a big enough house to do so and the finances to do so. But dad has a small yappy dog and with COVID my husband and I and our boys are all working and doing school at home. We just don't want the dog and all the noise she makes while we're home all day! We don't mind Dad (well mostly don't mind) but the dog is a deal breaker. But it breaks Dad's heart to think of being without his dog. He's adamant about not wanting to be without her and would rather live on his own with the dog than live with us without the dog. He can barely stand up on his own he's gotten so weak. He's about in tears on the floor because of weakness and frailty, but will not budge.
Oh my goodness, what do I do with him? Advice anyone? (btw, I haven't been on this site in years, but when I was caring for my mother with Alzheimers this site was my LIFELINE!. I couldn't have made it through that time without the support from all of you I had during that time).
Is it possible this dog only becomes noisy when others are around but is quiet when it is only your dad? If dad can have his own private quarters and the dog won't be seeing anyone else throughout the day, then having dad with you might be doable.
My cousins had chihuahuas. They were the nastiest things when other people were around but quiet and devoted to their family when no one else was there.
Take them away and just bring me the pill that ends it all. I’m quite serious. I are about them most of all!
It might make you feel better to have your Dad in your home do you can keep an eye on him but you would not be doing him any favors!
That furry friend of your Dad's, is probably the only thing giving him the Will to Live.
Put yourself in his shoes and think about what you're asking of him, to move out of his home and leave his loved one behind...unthinkable and just wrong.
If you won't take the dog along, don't take your Dad.
I know you already know this deep inside and pray you do the right thing.
You can always have a Caregiver drop by a couple hrs a day.
Also, stock his refrigerator and pantry with EASY stuff to eat.
Frozen things that you only have to heat in the microwave like Breakfast Biscuits with cheese, egg and meat. Waffles, Individual Instant Oatmeal packets, individual Yogurts, individual Applesauce.
Buy frozen meals to heat in microwave so he doesn't have to cook on stoves.
Soups, Chili, ect
Buy plenty of Soft Breakfast Bars and Little Debbie Snacks like Mini Brownies ect check for the ones with the most protein..
Cheese Crackers, Peanut Butter Crackers.
Keep plenty of Milk to drink and only buy the half gal if milk so it isn't so heavy.
Plenty of juice to drink individual or Quart size to make it easier to handle.
Just Think Easy as if it is a child fixing his food.
If it's not easy to fix, he won't eat.
Again....Please Don't separate your Dad from his friend and companion. You would be signing his death warrant and you would never forgive yourself.
Your Dad has already made known to you his wishes.
Let him live the rest of his life in peace, his peace not yours.
My dogs have been my best and most loving and loyal friends at times. So I’m a little biased! Even if your dad stays home or goes into a facility the dog will still need care and attention that he cannot give. Your dad has had a lot of loss, the dog is just one more loss he cannot manage right now.
I have had a dog or 3 most of the time since I was about 8 years old. My 17 Y/O son who is learning disabled has one of his 2 dogs at his side any time he can. His school (for learning disabled has 2 service dogs and allows kids with service dogs to bring them to school with them. I have told my son that when one of his current dogs passes we will get him a certified service dog.
To many of us dogs are an important part of life. They remind us how we should love and care for each other.
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