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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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You might try a powder or special suede cleaner purchased at a store..good luck, it really needs to be clean for health reasons..bugs ect. Could you promise him a special treat if he allowed you to get it cleaned, maybe a cleaner could do a special cleaning while you wait for it at the cleaning company. take him along to wait for it? Hope something helps
It's been in the 90's here (but AC inside), and my father wears his sweater coat 365 days a year. It's never been washed, and it's filthy. He won't let me put it in the washer (it has suede on it) nor will he part with it long enough for it to go to the dry cleaners. I've given up that battle!
It might not be only a temperature issue; it could be a tactile issue. Some people are much more aware the the "feel" of anything that touches the body. I wear long pants all year around, even in hot weather in a non-airconditioned work environment, because I'm accustomed to the feel. Most of them are knits, the yoga pants in style now come in a wide variety of styles. (I think they may be related to the discomfort of a lower partial plate; I am constantly aware of it.)
Same situation with my live-in father-in-law. But I decided long ago that isn't the hill I"m going to die on. He can wear whatever he wants. And that is pretty crazy some days!
The only problem with 'long johns' could be getting them off to go potty.... otherwise, if she is not getting a heat rash, let the old bird wear whatever she likes.
My mother, 74 with multiple sclerosis, my dad, 75 healthy, BOTH get cold at anything below 80 degrees and don't like the wind at all. I am 49 and healthy. I usually wear a hoodie at anything below 77. I think it has more to do with our genetics and aging thermostats, IMHO.
My mother was in the habit of longjohns also. It was HOT outside and her body couldnt regulate itself. I replaced the heavier longjohns with lightweight ones, then slowly removed those from her drawer as well. My mother did Not have air-conditioning. Now she is in a place with AC and I encourage sweaters long pants etc. but the staff still dresses her in shorts and T's . Not sure of your mom's situation.
If it doesn't bother her, why try to change her way of dressing. It's her life, her comfort. Is it the "long johns"per say that you don't like? Could she change into a long knit like fabric pants?
Might want to also check out any medical issues like Anemia and a Thyroid condition. Ma has both and when given to high a dosage of thyroid meds everything felt cold even the table and dishes. Finally found the sweet spot and now she no longer feels that cold. Keep in mind, as a person ages the circulation gets worse and the skin gets thinner. Hope this helps.
Suzmarie, I am also a night owl. I certainly wonder how they would deal with us as it is suppose to be our home, too.
Sometimes I think we worry and fret about the small things like what our parents are wearing because we are really grieving the big stuff and just cannot quite directly deal it. Best to swal525 and her mom as well as everyone else.
lol. I will not be sun downing either but I am a night owl. At my mom's NH they are eating their breakfast and dressed by 7:30 a.m. I will not be happy about this. Give me my morning coffee/2 large cups please and my ativan at night, a fan (i use it year around) and I'll be a good patient.
LOL at suzmarie. ---- I myself am not very comfy if the temps are below the mid 60's in the winter and below 75 in the summer. It's in the upper 70's in my bedroom, right now and I'm still covering myself up to my belly with a comforter. ---- Indeed, you'd probably be one of a few, if not the only resident in a NH that's still hot while in a tank and shorts. I'll probably be one of a few, if not the only NH resident that's a night owl (not to be confused with sun-downing) while hating to get up before 9am. (Most NH and AL residents I have worked with are early risers - like 7am and are in bed by 9pm.)
I had to kind of chuckle at the OP and the replies. As a professional care giver - an RN that has worked in geriatric care for some time - I've had experience with many elderly patients/residents being cold and dressing "inappropriately for the season". ("Inappropriately" as in too warmly in the opinion of younger people.) As others have already rightly pointed out, some seniors have poor circulation and other medical issues that make them feel cold in cold weather gear, even if the rest of us are breaking a sweat in a tank and shorts. ----- I tried to explain that to my x in-laws when my x husband's elderly father was moved in with them. They insisted that they needed to get a large air conditioning unit installed at their home, because they feared that he would be too hot. (In his home, he never had an actual AC, except for a few open windows and screen door. In fact, even in his younger days, he was more often cold than hot, despite of what one might be considering summerly temps.) So..... they had him pay for the AC and installation, in their home. On several occasions where I've stayed with him in their home, for multiple days, to give respite while they're away, I've felt cold myself and decided to turn off the AC and open a window, instead. Before then, my x FIL would sit in his chair all bundled up in wintery gear and blankets - with the AC blasting to a set temp in the mid 60's - while my x in-laws were complaining of being hot. (Both SIL and BIL are severely obese and easily break out in a sweat.) Yet..... they still "worry about him being too hot" without the AC on. Go figure! ----- If you're concerned about the long johns showing and looking too weird, I suggest you crop the legs and sleeves a few inches, as to make them less visible under the rest of the clothing on top.
My husband is the same way. It is June in SC and he is still in jeans, a T-Shirt, a short sleeve shirt and said he is cold and wants a jacket. I put a flannel shirt over the other two and go on bout my business. I sure have higher mountains to climb than that one. I say let her wear what she wants. Pick your battles
Get rid of ugly stained and ill fitting clothes. Honor her cold tendency. I bought my mom many pairs of knit pants that looked like corderoy though stretchy. They are warm and easy to get on and off. I got rid of all of her dresses because that was what was setting off the wierd out fits. Pants under dresses with T-shirts on top of that. I bought lots of tank tops and turtle necks. I dress her in her pants, a tank top, and a turtle neck. She can put any thing she wants on over that and she is warm and looks fine.
My dad is currently wearing his thick flannel pajama bottoms that have snowmen on them and a fleece top. It is 90 degrees outside. He is perfectly comfortable. And I figure--what the heck. He many years wearing clothes that were appropriate for work etc. If he want to wear his flannel jambo bottoms it is not hurting anyone :-)
"She insists on wearing long johns in summer" And this is a problem because ...? The kind of inappropriate clothing problem elders may need some gentle guidance with is wanting to wear a swim suit to a funeral. Wearing long johns to be comfortable is not in that realm of needing help.
(BTW, my daughter-in-law wore long johns under her wedding dress, in May.Some people are just cold. DIL is very warm-hearted, though.)
Shortly after we started at the Mayo Clinic for dementia treatment, I was doing an interview over the phone. There were a whole series of questions like "Can your husband use public transportation alone? Can he safely use the stove? Can he use the microwave? etc. etc. and I was whipping right through the questions with Yes or no answers, until the interviewer came to "Does he dress appropriately?" Complete silence for a minute. Finally I said, "Um ... he's an engineer." She laughed. "Let me rephrase that. -- Does he dress as appropriately now as he ever has?" (Engineers are pocket-protector kinds of folks, not generally regarded as being at the forefront of fashion or even appropriateness.)
There are many, many large issues in old age. My advice to caregivers is don't sweat the small stuff.
My Dad is always cold. His room in AL is not air conditioned but he will still wear a t-shirt, a polo, a sweatshirt, and a jacket. He complains that whoever built this place put the thermostats to high on the wall and they do not regulate the heat at chair level. Don't worry about it. Just watch for signs of excessive heat and dehydration.
My MIL likes to wear a black jacket over everything, summer or winter in Atlanta. I just let her. If she's comfortable, that's all I care about--but it has to be clean. I found about 5 of these jackets from size 4 to 12 and they all smelled terrible. I weeded out the ones that were too small and got the others cleaned. I really have to watch her, though, she overheats a lot and doesn't know enough to shed her jacket. She's more concerned with how she looks, even though she dresses completely inappropriately most of the time--wearing clothes that are 3-4 sizes too small, just squeezes into them. I've been working on weeding those out and getting her things that fit her and are appropriate for her age and where she normally goes when she goes out. The black jacket is like the long underwear, whatever makes them feel comfortable! It's hard to allow them to wear these things when WE are dying of heat exhaustion!!
I can remember my dad wearing flannel shirts and a jacket even in 95 degree weather because he was thin as a rail, had bad circulation, and was always cold. It could be that she really is cold. Her thyroid could be low or she could be anemic, too. As long as she is well hydrated and not going into heat exhaustion, I would not worry about it.
I am a nurse and have dealt with this issue for the past 8 years with the seniors. They are always cold due to circulation problems, blood thinners, and immobility. I strongly encourage to wear warmer clothing so they will utilize air conditioning. Hot rooms/homes cause more problems for those with breathing problems as asthma and emphysema. Heart conditions and pulmonary as well. As long as they are not having ill effects from "over dressing"-- it's not worth the battle. Hope you found this helpful.
My 88 y/o father (who doesn't have Alzheimer's) gets cold easily and wears a jacket inside most of the time unless it is very warm and muggy. It may be that your mother actually feels cold, even in June so she may simply be wearing what feels good to her even if it would inappropriate for most other people.
I agree with just letting her wear it. My mother-in-law does the same thing. If we are going to the doctor or something I will remove "inappropriate" clothing a day or so ahead of time so when she gets dressed her choices are limited but I always take her sweater in case she does get chilly. Also, since she lives with us I close the vent in her room during the summer and open it back up in the winter. I also keep a small electric heater in the bathrrom year round so I can warm it up for her before every bath but I always unplug it and put it away after it is heated before she comes in. Good luck
My mother had an old brown sweater that was just so ugly...you would not believe. She loved it and would miss it even if it was just a matter of trying to wash it...she would be looking for it and tear everything out of her dresser drawers. When I would present it to her all nice and clean...she would act as though I had just given her the greatest gift ever. And sometimes she would layer up...wearing two or three layers of clothing and I live in Florida. The doctor asked me why I did not just let her wear what ever she wanted...especially around the house. I decided to try that and it all worked out....and there were many humerous situations...as for her wardrobe... she made not exceptions for guests. Good luck..I think .it will all work itself out. And I love Sarahjean's suggestions. Hugs..
If she gets upset when you hide them, and remembers, give them back. what can it hurt? Its a stage, it wont last, they all go thru crazy things like that. My Mom also went thru the cutting everything up, then the dropping her drawers and peeing on the floor, etc, go with it, then the wandering for a year, its realy not a big deal compared to other stages. If she doesnt go out, who cares, its cute. Deep Breath, she might be cold, they do get cold easy and she is attached to that "comfort feeling" so whatever makes her happy. :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I replaced the heavier longjohns with lightweight ones, then slowly removed those from her drawer as well. My mother did Not have air-conditioning.
Now she is in a place with AC and I encourage sweaters long pants etc. but the staff still dresses her in shorts and T's . Not sure of your mom's situation.
Sometimes I think we worry and fret about the small things like what our parents are wearing because we are really grieving the big stuff and just cannot quite directly deal it. Best to swal525 and her mom as well as everyone else.
As others have already rightly pointed out, some seniors have poor circulation and other medical issues that make them feel cold in cold weather gear, even if the rest of us are breaking a sweat in a tank and shorts. -----
I tried to explain that to my x in-laws when my x husband's elderly father was moved in with them. They insisted that they needed to get a large air conditioning unit installed at their home, because they feared that he would be too hot. (In his home, he never had an actual AC, except for a few open windows and screen door. In fact, even in his younger days, he was more often cold than hot, despite of what one might be considering summerly temps.) So..... they had him pay for the AC and installation, in their home. On several occasions where I've stayed with him in their home, for multiple days, to give respite while they're away, I've felt cold myself and decided to turn off the AC and open a window, instead. Before then, my x FIL would sit in his chair all bundled up in wintery gear and blankets - with the AC blasting to a set temp in the mid 60's - while my x in-laws were complaining of being hot. (Both SIL and BIL are severely obese and easily break out in a sweat.) Yet..... they still "worry about him being too hot" without the AC on. Go figure! -----
If you're concerned about the long johns showing and looking too weird, I suggest you crop the legs and sleeves a few inches, as to make them less visible under the rest of the clothing on top.
SHE CAN NOT HELP IT. SHE IS PROBALLY COLD. I WEAR MINE INT HE SUMMER TOO. ESPECIALLY AROUND AIR CONDITIONERS.
Honor her cold tendency.
I bought my mom many pairs of knit pants that looked like corderoy though stretchy. They are warm and easy to get on and off.
I got rid of all of her dresses because that was what was setting off the wierd out fits. Pants under dresses with T-shirts on top of that.
I bought lots of tank tops and turtle necks.
I dress her in her pants, a tank top, and a turtle neck. She can put any thing she wants on over that and she is warm and looks fine.
(BTW, my daughter-in-law wore long johns under her wedding dress, in May.Some people are just cold. DIL is very warm-hearted, though.)
Shortly after we started at the Mayo Clinic for dementia treatment, I was doing an interview over the phone. There were a whole series of questions like "Can your husband use public transportation alone? Can he safely use the stove? Can he use the microwave? etc. etc. and I was whipping right through the questions with Yes or no answers, until the interviewer came to "Does he dress appropriately?" Complete silence for a minute. Finally I said, "Um ... he's an engineer." She laughed. "Let me rephrase that. -- Does he dress as appropriately now as he ever has?" (Engineers are pocket-protector kinds of folks, not generally regarded as being at the forefront of fashion or even appropriateness.)
There are many, many large issues in old age. My advice to caregivers is don't sweat the small stuff.
She loved it and would miss it even if it was just a matter of trying to wash it...she would be looking for it and tear everything out of her dresser drawers. When I would present it to her all nice and clean...she would act as though I had just given her the greatest gift ever. And sometimes she would layer up...wearing two or three layers of clothing and I live in Florida. The doctor asked me why I did not just let her wear what ever she wanted...especially around the house. I decided to try that and it all worked out....and there were many humerous situations...as for her wardrobe... she made not exceptions for guests. Good luck..I think .it will all work itself out. And I love Sarahjean's suggestions. Hugs..