My dad was admitted two weeks ago with badly ulcerated legs. He has Parkinson’s and Lewys Body dementia. He has not had anything to eat now for three weeks as can’t swallow and has been on saline IV. He has not had his Lewys and Parkinson’s medication for two week. They want to amputate his legs because of infection and the family have said no as this would have been against my Dads wishes. He didn’t want to come to hospital. He never would have wanted this, always used to say give me some pills but we can’t. We have asked the medics to let nature take its course but make him comfortable, no feeding tubes. It just feels so long. I die a little everyday watching him he just lies staring into space...his morphine is keeping him calm. All his limbs are swollen I just feel so sorrowful for him.
Everyone has offered wise advice. Nurses have told me that people's hearing becomes more acute during the last days, so talk to him, play music as suggested, and tell him how much you love him.
And remember that even though is agonizing, it's better than suffering through an amputation, which he doesn't want. You're fulfilling his wishes, hard as it may be.
Be sure to take time for yourself as this is an emotionally draining time for you.
I think maybe folks need our permission to exit, and may need a cloud of music for them to float on.
This sounds like a very sad and painful situation for all involved. If Hospice is involved, there are chaplains and social workers available to help families through this difficult time. (((((Hugs))))))