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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My husband has Lewy Body dementia. He gets up in the morning and removes the depends before he gets to the bathroom. I have tried laying down pads but he just pees on them and next to them. Everyday starts with major bathroom clean up.
Dementia prevents an elder from knowing or caring where he is urinating; it no longer matters to him, in reality, and a 'toilet' has no meaning to your husband anymore. He's not trying to upset you on purpose; his dementia has progressed to the point now where he just does his business wherever and whenever, as is the norm with such a condition. When I worked in a Memory Care AL, some residents would pull their pants down in the activity room, squat on the carpet, and take a BM right then and there. Or on an upholstered chair, same thing. They weren't worried that the chair wasn't a 'toilet', nor did they realize it was 'inappropriate' to do what they were doing. A brain disease robs a person of logic and the ability to know 'right' from 'wrong' according to societal norms according to those of us w/o a brain disease. #Truth
Amazon sells men's Alzheimer's anti-strip jumpsuits and pajamas for this very thing: so your husband cannot get to his Depends to remove them, nor can he urinate on the floor. Purchase one or two of these anti-strip suits and dress him in one at night, with a Depends and an extra pad in there to soak up more fluid. In the morning, YOU unzip the suit, get him onto the toilet, his Depends changed, etc. YOU control the mess he makes, not the other way around. YOU have to be in charge of his dementia or YOUR life will be ruined spent doing laundry 24/7 in addition to 100 other matters.
How/where is he removing his depends? Are they diapers or pullups? Are you sleeping in the same room? Are you around when he first gets up and can lead or follow him to the bathroom to prompt him to do the appropriate thing? Have you considered a bedside urinal or commode?
Do you have any help? This is a lot for you to handle!
I’m very sympathetic. Your husband Robert is younger than you, 76, and you end up doing this for him over and over again. This is all I can think of: 1) Get a reasonably good idea of life expectancy. You can’t do this for another 10 or 15 years, even if you are physically able. Find out when you need to plan for a care facility. 2) Sleep in a different bed. 3) Give Robert’s bed a waterproof cover, one with raised sides if possible, and some loose washables in with him. They won’t help if he gets up, but might make some of it easier to deal with. 4) Check for anything that could stop him removing the depends. A straight jacket springs to mind. 5) Do you think it is all about the dementia? Or does he just not care? If the latter, think about stick and carrot options. Best wishes, and I didn’t put murder on the list! Margaret
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Amazon sells men's Alzheimer's anti-strip jumpsuits and pajamas for this very thing: so your husband cannot get to his Depends to remove them, nor can he urinate on the floor. Purchase one or two of these anti-strip suits and dress him in one at night, with a Depends and an extra pad in there to soak up more fluid. In the morning, YOU unzip the suit, get him onto the toilet, his Depends changed, etc. YOU control the mess he makes, not the other way around. YOU have to be in charge of his dementia or YOUR life will be ruined spent doing laundry 24/7 in addition to 100 other matters.
Alzheimer's Anti Strip Clothing:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+men&crid=2CJAE53P4AV6R&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip%2Caps%2C146&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_21
Depends Booster Pads:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=depends+booster+pads&crid=1TCJB7LW83G7F&sprefix=booster+pads+for+de%2Caps%2C806&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_19
Look into Memory Care Assisted Living for your husband when things get to be too much for you to handle alone at home.
Good luck!
How/where is he removing his depends? Are they diapers or pullups? Are you sleeping in the same room? Are you around when he first gets up and can lead or follow him to the bathroom to prompt him to do the appropriate thing? Have you considered a bedside urinal or commode?
Do you have any help? This is a lot for you to handle!
1) Get a reasonably good idea of life expectancy. You can’t do this for another 10 or 15 years, even if you are physically able. Find out when you need to plan for a care facility.
2) Sleep in a different bed.
3) Give Robert’s bed a waterproof cover, one with raised sides if possible, and some loose washables in with him. They won’t help if he gets up, but might make some of it easier to deal with.
4) Check for anything that could stop him removing the depends. A straight jacket springs to mind.
5) Do you think it is all about the dementia? Or does he just not care? If the latter, think about stick and carrot options.
Best wishes, and I didn’t put murder on the list! Margaret