Auctioning off childhood home - any tips, either psychological or practical? This is a MAJOR life catastrophe for me.

I am sorry to her about your dad passing away 3 years ago which is less than when our dad passed away. It is hard to leave your childhood house with so many memories in it. The good thing that you have those memories to go with you anywhere and can make new ones elsewhere.Perhaps you can rent it? It is going to be hard if your name is not in the house title

Hey there - you’re not alone! I’ve struggled a lot with this issue myself. My mom is still living, but will probably move to assisted living in a few months. I love my mom’s house and the neighborhood, and it’s hard to think of letting go. What I suggest: take lots of photos of the house inside and out. I also did a video log on my phone, which included favorite childhood memories. You could interview your mom (If you don’t have a smartphone you can borrow one), and ask your mom things like “why did you and dad buy this house?” “What is your favorite memory about the neighborhood”, etc. it’s ok to grieve- this house represents childhood memories for you.
As far as not having support, please check with you Area Agency on Aging. Each county should have one. They can recommend a support group or social care worker that might provide moral support. Prayer was also an important help for me. Hope that gives you some ideas!

I am so sorry. I went through this after both my parents were gone. I'm not sure what to tell you about taking her home one last time. That might be a decision to make together. My mom became very child-like but I wish I would have done a lot less dismissing of her (you can take that for what it's worth to you). I WOULD recommend that you let her keep a garage full of whatever she wants and deal with it later - when you have to. As for the auction, go attend a couple if you can so you won't be shocked. I can guarantee that it will be difficult. I cried a lot! If you are going to do an auction, (1) get someone who has a stellar reputation and (2)get EVERYTHING in writing. Make them be very specific about what your financial responsibilities will be and what you will be expected to do physically, if anything. (3)Know what they are going to want as their percentage and don't be shy about searching around for the most bang for your buck. (4) Ask about setting a "reserve" price on anything you think is valuable (Do your homework online researching antiques)(Know what you should be getting for special pieces. I had LOTS of antiques. My people had no idea what they were looking at. If I had let them go I would have lost $150.00) (5)If you decide to stay during the auction, be sure to have friends or family there with you. You either want to leave or be there with support. I wish you the best and you are in my prayers. I hope you get this in enough time to help. NO one helped me, even people who knew how tough this would be and no one stayed with me...but God sent some "angels" to help me out. I pray you are surrounded by them!

Dear bunnymom,
sorry you have to go through this. A home is high on the list of needs for a human beeing and it does represent something special. I cannot tell you what is best for you, but I will share what I did and some regrets I have of when I had to do that myself when my dad passed away. Someone mentionned taking pictures. I did that and I am sooo happy I did. Pictures of the rooms, but also of many objects, even meaningful clothes. I was so tired and busy and emotionnally drained when I did it that my memory was not my most efficient thing...
But I also regret two things. First , letting people rush me and make me feel like my attachement to certain things was not ok. As if speed and detachement was the official test for intelligence and maturity. We are not all the same, we do not all care for the same things, we dont have the same priorities, take the same routes to meet our objectives. Find people who you know care for you and respect how you feel to help you out. Second, partly because I listened to the ¨¨as fast as possible- all of it¨¨ crowd, but also because my brain and my heart, were so fuzzy, I now realise that I gave away things of great ou very good value that I could have very well used or enjoyed having. I let go a superb wooden chest because I did not realise it could replace a very cheap ugly one I had home. It took me a few months to realise that, a real duh moment, but it was too late. Some art pieces I taught I did not care for, I now regret giving and wonder why I kept some others. As I prepare to do this again in a not so far future, in a smaller scale ( my mom is now living alone), I have a plan. I know my heart may not be in a better place for speedy decisions. So I already know what is on the totally ok to give, sell ou throw away list, what is on the I am obviously keeping this list and the rest , not that much, will go in storage for a few months, until my heart and brain are back to functional, with a one year max deadline ( the lease of storage). But I know myself and deadlines work well against the someday that never comes syndrome. I had been so rushed to do it as fast as possible, spending the day planning the funeral, moving my mom, and nights making boxes... I will not be preasured like that next time. So do rest and try to make decisions when you feel ok and when you feel overwhelmed , take a break., breathe, go for a short walk. And yes the Marie Kondo thing about saying thank you and good bye does work...strange, feels a bit weird doing it...but works for me.
But I think there is no way to make it easy and unemotional. It will be hard as you do it. But like other hardships, once it is done, there is a feeling of mooving on that helps..
Good luck.
p.s. if you are not very good at photos, get a friend who is to do it. They will be glad to help and you will have company. A little video of a walk around is nice too.

A house is just a house. It's the memories that you take with you, not drive away from. But why auction off the house? If you really plan to do that, have a bottom line of what you would accept. As someone has said, if it isn't a fair market value, Medicaid can get touchy about it. And to do it right, you need to pay an auctioneer. So why not get a Realtor to handle a legitimate sale?
When my aunt passed away at age 100, her house and attic were stuffed with everything you could think of, and the executer (a cousin) had an estate valuation of her things and a sale of everything. Because I live across the country, I felt really bad about valuable collections and probably would have moved everything to my own attic if I could have! But it is only stuff. The house was then sold almost immediately as-is for a good price.
Before you do anything, talk to an attorney who handled your parents' legal matters. It might cost a few dollars, but it would be worth it in the long run.

Oh, bless your heart, we feel your pain. We have been through this with my mom, my father-in-law, and my husband's widowed (childless) uncle. Heartbreaking.

Three things really helped us that might help you.

1. Do you have a friend who can go with you to help, especially a friend who does not know your family? That person has no sentimental attachment to anything and can discard things that you cannot emotionally part with. One example for us was my mom's hand-written copies of the Bible. I couldn't throw those volumes of papers away. So I picked out a few, and our friend disposed of the rest when I wasn't at the house.

2. Can you tape off an area in the garage that is the size of the space your mother's things will occupy on the moving truck? Then she can try to choose the things she wants to take with her that will fill that space (but no more). My brother had a work van, and my mom filled it to the brim (including her piano) with the things she wanted to bring to Florida when she moved here to live with us. That helped her choose what was most special to her.

3. Can you photograph or record the house before you start moving things out? I loved the ideas others have posted about photographing each room and asking your mom to share her memories of each space. I wish we had done that! It might be good for you to share your memories, too. What a family treasure that will be.

God bless you as you embark on this labor of love!

The memories are what are important not the house. Take lots of photos before you go and then thank it and let it go. I would try to clear it out rather quick or it will just get harder and harder. Stuff is just stuff, don't let it become more than that. Be careful of the storage trap. It just sits there and you pay and pay and pay. I went through something similar with a house I lived in and had to leave. It hurt at the moment but it did not very last long.

I would say this need to sell and your decision to do it is actually cause for celebration, although simultaneously sad. Now, this house can be enjoyed again by a new family which can build future wonderful memories such as you have. The reasoning aside, whether money or your mom needing facility care aside, houses are for living in, and selling it is the right thing to do.

After my last parent died, the day of his funeral, I invited all the family to our home and told them to take whatever they wanted, except my mom and dad's bedroom furniture and old photos. Whatever else was left, I donated to Good Will or threw away. We were able to sell the house pretty quickly after that.

I brought the bedroom furniture home to my house and put it in a guest bedroom, arranged much like my mom and dad had it all the years I was growing up and through adult-hood. Same photos on the dressers as before-- my mom and dad's photos and grandparents photos nearby. When I go into that bedroom, it makes me feel like I was "home" again. I call it the Niles room because I grew up in Niles, Illinois.

My old home has since been torn down and replaced with a much bigger place, so I couldn't go home again if I wanted to. But I have a painting of the house above their bed as a reminder of what it looked like. I find it comforting to periodically go into this bedroom and look at some of the old photo albums and family things that I saved. And with this come the memories of growing up there, the love my mom and dad had for us and how their love has shaped my life. It's a good place to say prayers, too.

It was a way of hanging on to just a touch of a place that meant a lot to me.

You can't take it with you.

bunnymom: I hear you. I really do. When my mother, a very ILL woman demanded to live alone in her own home 7 states away from mine, she left me no option but to leave my home, my husband, my family and my life and move in with her. She then passed away from a stroke. That left me to not only put her home on the market, but to leave it unoccupied and finally return home after 8 months. Fortunately by they my husband had arrived. Here is what we did - Gave all elder items (including clothes) to the local senior ctr for donation, gave 85 baskets to a florist, donated much furniture to a resale shop and/or relatives, gave away TONS of food to a friend, gave sentimental items to her friends, sold only a HANDFUL of items to local antique shop, asked friend's husband, who was a policeman to keep tabs on the unoccupied home, worked with Realtor to find a suitable buyer, said my last goodbyes to every shrub, bush and tree. Good luck.

I will say for me, it was EXTREMELY hard to leave my mother's (and formely my childhood) home because at the end of my mother's life, as I'd said - I had to live there! I was very exhausted and emotional having had to just have my mother interred.

A house, is a house. It's the people and memories that are in it, that make it a home. Sure aesthetically it is well made, in a great location, and emotionally you are tied to that as a place you call "home".
We are all in a season of change, and I suggest you take time to take some pictures, keep mementos and things that mean something to you. Then, with the help of a close friend, go through the house and sort things room by room. You could do a Marie Kando and thank them for their service, before putting them in the resell/donate/keep piles. It sounds kind of silly to "thank" a object, but in a way you are acknowledging the memories associated with that thing and giving yourself time to process this change.
You need to also set some personal goals for yourself. As these ties to the past close, think about the new chapters you want to open in your life. The new memories you want and can make with your time.
When you bring your mom, talk about the memories you both shared there, but don't dwell on them. Appreciate them, appreciate the closing of this chapter in order to open another. Also recognize your own inner strength, that YOU are going through this and if you are able to, talk to your mom about the future and your uncertainties. Maybe somewhere in her memories, she might surprise you with a bit of wisdom of her own experience, or she may not.
As far as your sister goes, as much as it would be great to have some closure it would be wise to let her know what you are doing, if there are any items she may want offer them to her as a sort of peace offering then don't expect anything else. She has her reasons for her feelings about the home, and unless she shares them with you, let it go.
Like someone else said, keep moving forward, and make some new memories. You got this.

You need to remember that material things are a burden both physically and emotionally. Trust more that your memories and photos and chats and laughs and tears will help you glide into a new chapter of your life.
Remember to be grateful for the loving memories. Smile when you think about all the things you went through, share your thoughts with Mom and sibs and journal your feelings. It’s a house, the real joy you still have in your heart and your mind. Now... c’mon... let me see that beautiful smile
with love and light
Sabrina

Living that far away, plus covid-19, makes it difficult.

I just did this last year . When Mom moves into assisted living, she didn’t want to see it anymore. I took things out that I thought should be kept and put them into storage. Then I called a local group that has a good reputation for estate sales and they set it up and had a four day sale. I did some cleaning, put the house up for sale “as is” so that they knew there wouldn’t be a new roof or anything. It sold in a couple of weeks.

I took pictures of everything that went up for sale and the agent had pictures taken of all of the rooms inside and outside the house. It was all horrible but this is how it goes and you have to do it.

My mom had several strokes at the end of March after the covid-19 rules had been in effect for two weeks. I have not been allowed to see her so I don’t even know how she is, what she knows or understands. She can’t talk and they say she doesn’t want to do FaceTime. So it’s almost like she died. She may die before I get to see her. She is my best friend but there’s nothing I can do.

I lost my dad several years ago to pancreatic cancer, which was too quick.

I have no words of wisdom except that you are not alone and we all have to go through this. If it helps you to look at pictures and read letters, do it. When I had to go through the house, I did all of that but mom didn’t want to and that’s how she dealt with it...by not thinking about it and being reminded that her life was now a small room in a facility.

After I read the letters and saved what I wanted, I had to put it all out of my mind in order to survive it. I just keep going forward and don’t dwell on any of it. If that doesn’t work for you, you might need to talk to a therapist to help you get through it.

Many good suggestions have been made (swapping some of her items for yours, packaging up mementos, donating useful items, etc.) I did like those who suggested going room to room, videoing and if mom can handle the trip, having her thoughts recorded as well - you could learn a lot and/or create/help retain memories! We had moved multiple times, so there's no real "home" like that for me. Mom's last place was the condo she shared with dad and lived in until we had to move her to MC. That had no real meaning for me, as I never lived in it. It was far enough away (about 3 hr round trip) that clearing, cleaning and getting repairs done with little help from my brothers took a good part of 1.5+ years of my life away! Well before it was ready to sell I hated the place!

Mom had already donated most of dad's clothes. Unfortunately she was one to shop often at TJMaxx and Marshall's as well as other places to get "bargains" and held on to WAY too much, including stuff from before moving there! Had I any inkling how many clothes she had I would have pushed harder when it became clear that she had stuff that no longer fit. Every drawer, closet, box, bag, totes, hope chests (2) was stuffed full... Then there were the 5 portaclosets! Yikes! Most of the clothes we took to Goodwill, requiring about 5 trips with an SUV, one of which included my 5x8 trailer! Still some ended up coming here, including FIVE LARGE boxes full of shoes! Handbags galore! Faux jewelry. Never mind the left over crap my brother insisted on dumping here instead of tossing it!

If you could spend a little more time (and maybe enlist someone to help), I would bring all clothes to a donation place, and any furniture no one wants could be donated as well. More than likely most can't be claimed (tax person said I would need appraisals.) Anything truly trash, broken, etc, just trash it. Anything that is still useful but you don't want it you could donate as well. Mom's neighbor willingly took some items we gave to her for her church's rummage sale. Brothers took items they wanted, I only took a few things to have, but ended up, as noted above, with a lot of stuff I don't want and now have to pitch or find another home for!

I am curious about why the house will be auctioned? Is it in arrears (tax or MTG)? If not, it would be better to get an appraisal and find a realtor. If mom ever needs Medicaid, the house needs to be sold for fair market value (appraisal even if auctioning is advised), otherwise she would be penalized and have coverage denied or delayed. In mom's case, this worked out well for us as it was a 55+ community and no others in the area were up for sale. We ended up with a mini-bidding war and sold it for more than the asking price!

Currently the housing market is a tough call. I would be concerned that the place will be auctioned off for too little if there isn't enough interest. I haven't ever dealt with auctioning, so is there a minimum starting price? What happens if no one makes offers or the offers are ridiculously low?

If the house is in good repair and not in any default, can you clear it out, clean it and then sell as-is, even if it needs a little repair?

It is hard to leave your childhood home, but keep in mind the home is a structure and you have all the memories in your heart and hopefully in pictures. If need be, take pictures before you leave for the last time. You can always go home in your mind and heart. If you're really having a hard time, I would suggest counseling.

Are you happy where you live now? Any chance that you would consider moving back to the family home and buying it? Would mom consider moving back to that area into another facility? It's just a thought.

Whatever you sell the house for will be used to pay for mom's facility care. You could have someone look at the house to see what repairs might be needed and discount the house price by that amount. Borrow the money or make a contract with mom to determine payments, interest, etc. Then you'd make payments to her. You might ask an attorney to work out a deal on the house sale contract and add some language to address balance you owe on the house at such time mom passes.

Let's say you still owe 50K when mom passes. The payments you were making to her would now go to you and sister. So you could pay sis $25K at that time and be done with your mortgage. Probably won't be able to buy a house anywhere else in this country for the price you could pay for the family home.

I'm sorry, this would be hard for anyone. I know the memories are hard to leave behind and there are some who would say you could take them with you. Either way, it is very sad. Why can't you stay there?

When my mother died, my father continued to live in the home in which we were raised. One day he called up and told me he had sold it to a realtor that knocked on his door. Too hard to live there without our mother. We loved the house but it had always been hard to maintain and I was glad he made that decision himself. He found what turned out to be the perfect place for him, kept most of the furniture, and arranged it like it had been in the house. Lived there another 14 years, well into dementia. We were happy "our house" was never torn down and would occasionally drive by to see what the new owners did with it. A few years later, they sold to someone else who caught us driving by and offered us a tour. They had done a great job updating and taking care of "our house" and we were able to move on.

Eventually Dad went into Memory Care and I had to put much of that furniture temporarily into public storage. Then he passed away and the rest of the furniture joined it, waiting for family members to take what they wanted. It's all still there and I don't know exactly how to get rid of it all at this point. Charities wouldn't take anything at the end of the year and then the virus shut everything down. It's become an expensive burden.

There is a vendor here who promises to buy your house as is, get rid of what you leave behind,fix it up, and even commission a painting of your house for you to keep. I don't know if they keep that promise, but having picture would be a nice keepsake. You could commission that on your own.

Change is hard especially when it is forced on you. But for every door that closes, a window is opened. If you have to do everything yourself, hire some help if you can. I was lucky enough to have a true friend who helped me get through it.

You might consider...hire a "estate sale"company. Look at a
better business site to make sure of their "complaint level". They will come in, price, sell,and call a donation outfit that will pick up all that doesn't sell, clean up and send you a check with the keys. They usually keep 30% which is cheep for this hurendous task. It can give peace of mind that everything is bought be people who want all that " memorable "stuff. Then you can get a realitor to "stage" the house and sell it for it's worth.
It will be good for everyone to contribute to a "memories" record for all to keep. That helps you to "let go and keep" what is most important.

My heart goes out to you. I too had to give up my beloved home and my dear pets and it killed me (I have never recuperated from the loss) but I had no choice. I had no family at all and was totally self-sufficient. It is a horrible loss beyond comprehension for those who have not experienced it. I would go through the house and take what means something to you. Also pick a few items that will go with your mother wherever she ends up. As to the rest, sort it out and what is o.k., please donate to charity and to those in need. There are so many people who would be so grateful. What is left, perhaps you can have a garage sale. I went through all of this and it is horrible but what choices does one have. I would realize it is a fact of life and try to think on the good memories . Get people around you who can help and support you and stay away from those who don't care or don't understand. it is so difficult but you will survive. Be glad you have the memories of joy. Some of us never have those to look back at. My prayers are with you.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is always tough letting go of the things that were dear to us.

I would like to offer this little tip to others who may go through such an event in the future. My husband and I have lived in and furnished 4 homes together. I have done for these homes something I never thought to do for my 2 childhood homes, but wish I had: At various times, when the house is clean and in order I go through the house and photograph each room several times from different corners, etc., to make a record of what is there and how it looks. One reason for this is to store the photos so that in the event of fire or burglary we can easily determine what is missing.

The other thing that I have found out, now that I am nearly 70, is that it is really nice to have all those photographs (stored digitally so they take up no space), is that is really nice to be able to look at those photos and see how we changed those homes as our lives changed. Some things changed, some stayed the same. Certain pieces of furniture have moved with us through the years, others we let go. I have devised a little slide show for each house and I look at them a few times each year. There can be some bitter-sweetness about it, but mostly I am happy that, at each stage, we were living a life that pleased us and brought us contentment.

Photographing a house that has declined through lack of maintenance and full of discards may not be quite as nice for memories as a house still in its prime full of the lives of its owners, but those photographs may still give you the feeling that some of the essence of that home is still with you. Give it a try. If nothing else, your attention to which angle gives you the best feel of a room may distract you somewhat from your sense of loss.

After Mom passed I kept the house for about 6 months before making the decision to put it on the market. Her younger sister, my cousin & his wife, my hubby & I spent a couple weekends going through things and deciding on what to keep, toss, donate & sell. Any clothes went to a local charity shop. I kept most of the larger furniture pieces. Our son got his grandparents bedroom set and my old set went in our guest room. We emptied the cabinets and set up a garage sale, what was left went to the local charity shop. We kept a few of the kitchen items, all photos, a couple of chairs, grandma’s rocker and all of Mom’s paintings. It was hard walking away and leaving the neighborhood but It was too much to keep it and I would not be coming back to that house even if we moved back after retirement. I sold in days to a young teacher with 3 little girls. Mom would be thrilled that the house had life again and young people to enjoy it. I sometimes drive by when we are home visiting as hubby’s family is still there and I have lots of cousins in the area. The big tree out front is gone and other exterior changes show me that they have put their own stamp on it. I have memories and photos, I meet up with the girls I grew up with once in a while and reminisce about the neighborhood but we’ve all moved on.

There are so many wonderful answers here about how to handle your situation, but one thing I wanted to suggest is to keep a few treasured pieces of your dads clothing (usually shirts) and have them turned into a memory quilt. That is of course, if you like that sort of thing. Stay strong. I know it’s hard being the strong one in the family and having to be”in charge” of the tough decisions. You can do this!

It is time to move on. Have your Mom (and you) select a few pieces to take with you and give the rest away. Salvation Army, Good will, church groups. Before you go back there arrange where it will go. (At 97 my Mom realized she should not be living alone out in the country with no help around. She came to live with me 1800 miles away. I had a few of her things - bedroom set, sofa, clothes, etc. moved across country so she would have familiar things with her in her new home. We were blessed to have almost 7 years - She passed last year 1 month short of 104). When I went to move her out here I arranged the sale of her car before I left, decided what furniture to bring, arranged for a "partial load" mover. She had gotten rid of a lot of old paperwork, clothes, etc. and we donated more after I got there. Flew in on Monda, did legal/bank stuff Tuesday, separated keep/donate Wednesday and got rid of donate, movers came Thursday and loaded keep items, (people from area kept coming in and out ) Went and had lunch at a local place we both liked. Flew home with Mom on Friday. As we were leaving I was taking last look at house (not my childhood home, but hers for 32 years) and looked to see if she was doing OK. She was not looking at house, did not have look of dread or unhappiness on her face - she was looking straight forward down the road to her new life in CA. That day I learned to do the same. Remember the past - but dont look that way - you are not going there. Keep looking forward.

I am sure the building was an important part in your life. It was the place everything happened. It was a place. The walls and roof held it together as a building, but it did not hold the family, dreams and memories together. When you think of the happy events, think what made them happy, being together, the love, etc. That's what will always be with you. Nothing can take that away from you.

It is a letting go time in life. But remember, you are letting go of a building, not the memories of the past, they will always be with you, everywhere, no matter where you go.

Bunnymom, I read all these great answers to your anguished question and am compelled to share my thoughts because I, too, have been in your situation. I am the only one (POA), only child. My mother spent her life imbuing everything with her emotions - all her things were "precious" and had stories attached to each item she saved and cherished - and projected that responsibility onto me to continue that cherishing. Every gift she gave me from her cherished items she wrote on a list. Fast forward to AL a few yrs ago. I live over 1,000 miles away. She expected me and my husband to move in and live in her fully furnished condo, to just get rid of our lives and things and move into hers to maintain her things and her. I did use the condo whenever I flew down to visit/care for her for a couple years. Meanwhile, she's still paying prop taxes, utilities, insurances, 2 HOA dues, etc, along with her AL fees. Then one day she called me to say she decided to sell it. My husband and I drove there to get the condo ready and interview real estate agents, but when we arrived I discovered severe water damage all through the whole kitchen wall, dining room wall and adjacent wall. It was beyond horrible. It took 3 months to fix and I lived in the condo during reconstruction except for 12 days when it was unhealthy to live there with black mold removal. Once repaired, it looked fabulous (no more hideous blue carpet was a plus!) and I just wanted to go home, so I did. Two months later I returned and the first night back I knew time was right to sell it. But it still had all my mothers "precious" things in it. Cleaning out her home was the most anguishing, emotionally challenging thing I've ever done. I was paralyzed in the beginning and couldn't hardly make a decision about anything. Mom had a huge monster bookcase that towered over her living room. The bottom shelf held a pristine set of Encyclopedia Brittanica, gold leaf pages tightly bound in unscratched navy blue leather covers. She bought this set after I graduated from high school when she finally had the money to buy the prestigious set. To her, owning this set was a status symbol, a measure of her professional accomplishment, and that she could afford it. Now it was 50-year-old information. The encyclopedias paralyzed me. No charitable organization will take them. Zero. I thought maybe artists would like them for craft projects. Mom's HOA disallows any yard or estate sale. I had no choice but to throw them away but how could I possibly do that? The pressure to start clearing out stuff, even "precious" stuff (piles of cardboard that could be used for "something" etc.) became so enormous I was being crushed, literally felt crushed like a vise was slowly being squeezed ever tighter like I would die. One day while sitting at her dining table looking at these encyclopedia's across the room, I sprang up from the table, grabbed a few volumes I could carry and marched outside with them to the trash bin and threw them in. It was in defiance of these books staring at me all the time. It felt like I had just told the universe, "I am in charge of these things, and these things are not in charge of me!" I kept one encyclopedia. I kept other things I could not bear to make a decision about and brought them home and put them in storage. These are the precious things that do have value that I will share with family after my mom is gone (advise of my attorney). Bunnymom, you have your own journey to release this house, I had mine and I still have a few things to deal with, but you will find your strength to do this and you will be stronger than you ever knew you could be. We've all gone through this. Take pictures, videos, document it, save what is truly precious, the rest is stuff that can benefit others. Let mom remember the house as it once was, and not one last desperate look. Take care of yourself in kind ways. Sell the house using an agent for top dollar for mom's care. Hugs to you both, and peace.

I agree with the others. Remove important items of sentimental value to you and store them.

There are actually companies that you can hire to clean out the house. You can also consider having an estate sale first for bigger items such as furniture. Set it up as a "cash and carry only, no holds, no returns or refunds."

You can take care of this on ONE visit from out of town. (I should know, since I did it single-handedly when I was in your situation.) You can stay in the house for couple of weeks or so to get everything set up.

I sense that it's not the "house building," per se, that is causing you difficulty. It's the fact that many MEMORIES are associated with that house. So, hang onto those memories - and then let the house go. This is the best way to cope with it. (Been there, done that.)

Take whatever has sentimental or monetary value. Store those in your garage. I suggest letting other clean out the remainder, less painful memories. Everything else can be sold to one of those companies that buys everything in the house. Let them clear out the "stuff." Then, get it thoroughly cleaned or sell to one of those companies that "fix and flip" the home. Be consoled that your lovely childhood home can go to create loving memories for another family.

None of this is ever easy. As someone who went through the process of updating my parents home in order to make it more sellable, going through purging, having a company help with the estate sell, and then using a realtor to help us sell the house, I do understand letting go of many “things” and “emotions.” My own children would have loved if my husband and I could have afforded to buy their grandparents home, but we didn’t have the money that it would require to buy the place and update it to what we knew it would need.

The house was sold to a young couple who absolutely love the house! I visited there about 2 years after my dad’s death (mom passed before him). The new owner asked if I would like to walk through the house to see the updates, or if it would be too emotional for me. I told her that I would love to see what her family has done to make this their home. They had a little boy by that time and she said that she wanted her children to grow up in this house. My heart was so happy to see the changes and to know that the house was bringing joy and new memories to another family. It really was wonderful!

As several have said, “a house is only 4 walls, but a home is made by the people in it and the memories they share.”

Do get assistance with your cleaning and purging (I really like what GardenArtist recommended by using the Veterans owned company and getting help and advice from a realtor. Also, keep only the items that give you happy memories. I inherited art from my artist dad, and it hangs beautifully throughout my home. I have a few antiques and some photos. I like things to have a “place” and “purpose” in my home. If it just takes up space, it’s not benefiting me, and often there is someone who could enjoy it—so throughout the year, I donate items.