Follow
Share

She is able to get around for the most part and has all her facilities but her attitude and demeanor are just unbearable. We have tried speaking with her Dr. to maybe prescribe her some happy pills but unfortunately nothing seems to work. She lives with us and we have younger kids and everyone is miserable including her. She keeps telling us that she has had it and is moving out unfortunately I do not think she would have anywhere to go. This is actually more a rant than anything but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Agree with others. This is a situation that isn’t working for either of you and your family and happiness should come first.

Meet with senior center director by yourself and sometimes they have financial person that can help you find suitable senior housing or subsidized apt for mom.

Mom may be resistant to move but encourage her to at least try it and then be supportive with the move, inviting her to dinner or lunch a set day each week.

Short of that, tell her she must go to senior center at least 3 mornings a week if she continues to live with you and make her stick to it. You drive kids to school and drop mom at daycare or they also send a bus to your home needed to pick up senior. Or make her join church groups or volunteer group to get out of house.

Frankly, your situation is never going to get better with mom and something must change. Put you and family first. Don’t feel guilty.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Rant away, Maine. You're entitled and that what we're here for.

But don't despair. Look on your mother as an independent adult and it will be easier to see that there will be options for her, it's a question of finding them. After all, if you weren't around to do it she would still need housing and support, wouldn't she? - and she's just as entitled to them as any other person of limited means.

I will just chip in a "poor mother" too. I really do understand how emotionally exhausting it is to live with a little black hole of negativity sucking everybody in day after day, but then again - what on earth can it feel like to be her?

I know you feel stuck, and finding the right answer may take time and sharp elbows, but you are definitely not alone. Hugs.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

It sounds as if she isn't really disabled or frail, right? I think you should advise her that you realize she is unhappy and that since the present living situation isn't working out, you will help her find another place to live (such as subsidized senior housing).

Cranky moods can be contagious - help her as possible but don't let her negatively affect your kids and the happiness of their home and childhoods.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

We have tried the Dr. route and unfortunately getting anywhere with that other than the same dead end and to start over with another Dr. is a long process.
Unfortunately she really has no assets or $$$ other than the SS check she collects monthly so assisted living is def out of the question and we have tried having her go to the senior center which she did for maybe 2 weeks and then refused to anymore. I honestly think moving her in was the worst mistake we could have made and me being the caregiver is getting from all ends, her, husband and the kids :(
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Maybe it is time she is in an assisted living and can be with others her own age and participate in interests (cards, crafts, etc). She could be lonely. Or have her go to an adult daycare.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Has she been diagnosed with any ailment or depression? Sometimes, it takes awhile to find the right medication. That really helped with my LO's.

If your kids are miserable, due to her being miserable, I'd explore a remedy for sure. It's not good for your kids to grow up with misery memories. Living with someone who is depressed, can be quite draining. I'd go with the doctor to work on a solution.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter