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Check with bar association in your state and get free consult from attorney on senior issues. Unfortunately though, I think unless she herself as he wife is incompetent not likely anything you can do other than have his doctor and perhaps their pastor try to get her to understand.
I would also continue to emphasize it was his wish and going against it now is disrespectful to his wishes from when he was of sound mind to make it known.
Wishing you well in this struggle
She is struggling to let him go with this sudden decision as if there is a cure for Alzheimer's.
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Give the facility social worker a assignment
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She is just not ready to say goodbye 😥

Like many others, she may see a DNR as WITHOLDING medical treatment he would need, making him die when he's not ready to.

Another view is PREVENTING painful & futile treatments at the end of life stage. Letting them go when their time comes.

Sit with her & ask her - would you want him to go peacefully if that was possible?

Hold her hand, tell her she can do it: she can hold his hand everyday, tell him she loves him, thank him for a wonderful marriage. When the time approaches, she can also say goodbye. That's her job now. To hold his hand.
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I remember very well what hospice told us when our father was in hospice: the best gift of love is to let him go. My mother went into his room and told him we the three children were there to take care of her so it was perfectly ok to let go. He died ten minutes later.

That said, it is quite possible that she is terrified of losing some income. If they both receive SS, she will lose hers when he dies but she will keep his. So this can result in a substantial loss of income especially if there are loans to pay off.

Or she may be enjoying visits to the facility; they allow her to get out of the house. They help alleviate loneliness for her.
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Have you had a family meeting including the primary care physician via telehealth? I think that the physician needs to explain the prognosis as well as what resuscitation involves. The physician also should explain the likelihood of surviving the code and what is quality of life would be. Is he at home or in a facility? Is she afraid of being left alone once he passes? Did the decision come about because of his prognosis? Is hospice involved? Perhaps she needs to understand about quality of life and needsbreasuueance that you all will support her upon his death. Lastly, is she cognitively intact?
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Who has power of attorney? That is the person to talk to for possible changes. If it isn't one of his children, I would talk to a legal professional.

I have run into the same problem with EMTs initiating life saving efforts on my mother ... something her DNR prohibits. The nursing home and her guardian refuse to let the DNR be the last word. I'm crushed, but cannot do anything because I'm no longer the POA. The guardian could care less and the nursing home even less. I called the EMT providers myself and asked them to adhere to her wishes...and bluntly told NO.

Bless your hearts for standing up for your father. Good luck!
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