Tired of being mentally/verbally abused. Dad in ALF - can't deal anymore! She constantly calls to make others feel bad for her misery/what life has dealt. But has been this way her whole life, - everyone has to feel miserable if she does - won't take suggestions that might help her well being becuz then she won't have anything to bitch about! I'm 55, and DONE! But since I've been manipulated into her sick world my WHOLE life, this is an epiphany and I can't do this toxic thing anymore-- always made to feel guilty cuz I don't visit -- every time any kid visits her, they leave after a terrible altercation vowing never to return - yet we always do. Enough is enough - as much as I want to go visit dad, I can't fathom the thought of having to endure HER! I finally told myself, I HATE her - now what do I do when the next dramatic/manipulating/vitriol filled phone call comes????
Even therapists go to therapists about their own issues just like doctors go and see a doctor when they need to. Do what you will, but I would not advice someone to try to be their own therapist.
My wife has a PhD in psychology and use to teach different kids of college level psychology courses, but she's not clinically trained to do therapy. She found it helpful to see a therapist in dealing with her own family of origin issues, mainly her narcissist mother.
Is your mother living at home while your dad is in assisted living or do they both live at assisted living?
I don't mean this unkindly, but needing to accept Mother's phone calls in order to stay informed about Dad sounds a whole lot more like an excuse than a reason.
See a therapist. Even if you already know what he or she is likely to say, having the support of someone else saying it can be very valuable.
Best wishes to you!
There are plenty of articles here about dealing with narcissist parents. Do a search in the search site box in the upper right hand corner for more information about dealing with this type of verbally abusive parent who emotionally blackmails their adult children with Fear, Obligation and Guild, F.O.G. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.