They keep him in bed. His caregivers tell me he is dying leave him in bed he can learn to have bowl movements in diapers , he has to much trouble walking and he falls
And could hurt himself worse. He asks me to sit him up in a chair , and they tell me to leave him where he is it is too difficult. They say leave him in peace. I just need to know that if my dad asks me to take him to the restroom or sit him up in a chair and I have help to do that is that ok? Should I make sure he is dressed everyday , or let them keep him in his pjs. So confused . My dad is dying but he is not dead !
I actually logged on to look up throat secretions… must must must learn not to get sidetracked.
1987travel, please fill in your profile. Is your father at home, in ALF, in a nursing home or what? Are his caregivers family members, HCAs, qualified nurses, a hospice team? What are your father's underlying conditions? Is he mentally sound, or does he have dementia? These all make a big difference.
However. If your father asks to be transferred for toileting and is not incontinent; or if he asks to be helped to sit up in a chair; or essentially whatever he wants to do, unless there is a very good reason why not, he should be assisted to do. It is totally unacceptable to refuse to transfer a continent patient on the grounds that it is easier to change a diaper: your father has a right to dignity.
"Too difficult" is a terrible reason for not doing something. "Too dangerous," now, is different. If, for example, a patient were extremely frail so that even using a hoist it would be difficult to transfer him without injuring him - that would make sense. But not escorting your father to the rest room? It will take a wheelchair, an HCA who can accompany him into the rest room and provide assistance, plus one other person - which could be you - to assist with the transfers from bed or chair to wheelchair, and at the other end from wheelchair to disabled access toilet. Are you up for that? Do you know what you're doing? If not, ask an occupational therapist to show you.
Getting dressed should be up to your father. He should be encouraged to dress, he should not feel he has to. He must be enabled to please himself.
It was important to me to see my husband dressed each day. It didn't seem to matter to him. At the, when he was bedbound, I just made sure he was comfortable in nice soft pajamas.
He was in a hospital bed and had a good over-the-bed table. He was content to have the bed positioned for sitting up, and reading his newspaper and eating using the table. If he wanted to go into another room I helped him, but at the very end he was content to remain in the bedroom.
We had a bedside commode which he could sit on with almost no walking.
Is your dad on hospice? Is that who is giving you advice? They have a lot of experience with persons who are dying. But also listen to your heart about what is important to your dad.