She said as soon as she was appointed Guardian, my aunt decided, even though we were told she had mild dementia, that she wanted to die and planned to starve herslef. My cousin thinks this is fine and plans to let her go along with it. She does not want to involve Hospice and just says "let God's will be done, if she doesn't eat, I can't force her." Is this abuse. Doesn't my cousin have the legal obligation to at least notify the Court this is going on? Help!
I cannot help but think it is a natural part of dying- this not wanting to eat- if a disease is at the end stages. I do not know if this is the case with haggismom's Mom but I do think it can be the case for many who have suffered from a wasting disease.
My grandmother, in her logical mind- before Alzheimer's - made the legal decision of not having any extreme measures taken to keep her alive- I cannot recall the legal term for this- but that meant that my Mom was not able to stick a food tube in her when she refused to eat. This was so hard for my Mom. She even consulted her priest to see about the moral ramifications of this and he said as long as there was no way to get her better and she had made the decision of sound mind my Mom would have to respect it and it was not considered suicide- just the progression of the disease. My grandmother did not die hungry- her brain stopped being hungry and I do not think she was in any pain. Eventually her heart just gave out. Soon after she stopped eating.
Doctors need to be consulted, however, I think, to determine the right course of action.
I have discovered that my mother can no longer decifer roman numerals but she can, with some encouragement, not only tell time with a large numeric clock but can also calculate the time remaining to accomplish the "recommended one hour" time frame. It's sort of mind/body exercise. So far so good for the past few days we have finished each drink in approx 1 hour each and we have the added benefit of getting her to interact with the process by trying to figure out how long she has been working on the shake and how much time she has left. (And I have gained a couple of hours of my life back while using many less "mom finish your shake" words. - yeah!!!) Undoubtedly each individual's needs/ability/cooperation varies greatly but this formula seems to be working for us. Interestingly, my daughter in Law has successfully adopted the formula (less the protein powder as it is more difficult to digest and plus Hagendaz ice cream which is too pricey for us) for her father who has been losing a dramatic
amount of weight due to chemo treatments. His weight stabilized quickly and now is improving. fortuntely he never lost his appetite for solid food and the shakes are simply an additional source of calories for him.
Obviously it's an individual process but this has been helpful for us.
On another note, my sincere and heart felt "hugs" to sstevens for your loss. Hopefully you will realize the results needed within the legal process but in the meantime know that there are many here who know some of what you have endured and are supporting you in your path forward.
Orange juice, ice, egg and honey but soon, threw in yogurt, strawberries, etc.
When the body gets down in weight, the mind doesn't think clearly anymore, and sometimes, malnutrition can mimic dementia.
Our 86 year old recovered from her bout, it went on for 3 years lack or desire thereof for eating, as a side effect from being on Exelon. (Exelon's side effect for her was (diarrhea) for one year that she was on Exelon, and not watched or fed while she was on visits. She still is shy on the water, but regularly eats three meals a day, but only the type of food she used to eat, when she was on her own.
The meals used to take a long time, but are around 45 minutes each, now.
There is no denying that care giving for an elderly often moody, defiant senior who has developed the strength of ten people is difficult, no doubt, I just hope ours goes in her sleep.
responsive. My Aunt had broken her neck and is in a c-collar and is extremely weak. Weak enough that putting in a eating tube might kill her. So the hospice is
just trying to keep her comfortable. Now if your grandmother is in a dire medical situation I could see her not eating, but if she seems to still be sound of body and have some quality of life, I would call adult protective services and see if they can help you. Or go to the court, and ask for some help. I would see if she qualifies for hospice, sometimes eating can be painful depending on the condition they have, but at least if she is not going to eat they can give her comfort care.
Sure it is a chore to take care of someone, but that doesn't give us the right,
to end their life for them, what is this world coming to?
Kevorkian did time, remember, does anyone remember?
We could all be trapped in our own bodies, does not mean we are going to starve ourselves, are we? It sounds like a kid saying I am going to hold my breath unless you give it to me? If we wanted to, we could all find a reason to starve ourselves, it doesn't make it right. Get a grip everyone, DNR's are if you were in a car accident and you are in a coma or brain dead, part of you is dead already, but take a living person starving over as three month period is murder, in my book.
I am just wondering, if you had reported them to senior abuse? Again wondering what the autopsy showed, death certificate, etc. I wonder what the states attorneys' office would think, death and a motive...