My dad died 4 years ago (he was 87) and my mom followed 18 months later (she was 86). The last 6 years or so of caring for them was very difficult, especially my mom who was bedridden the last year of her life. I dream that my mom is back in the house, able to walk again and I KNOW she's going to find out I got rid of everything in her closet. In this last dream she was complaining about how we redid 'her house'.
I assume these are just PTSD dreams and will eventually stop. They are much less frequent than they were right after they died. They've also changed slightly in that I now tell them (in the dream) - you are both dead, please go away. I'm just curious if others dream as well and if they are pleasant dreams or nightmares?
Try to enjoy the vivid dreams… instead of pushing them aside.. they love you and are telling you they are close by…
Good luck with your grief process.
-AR
My father died in 2015 and I only had a few dreams about him; one visitation I'm sure, where he was laughing and holding out a shiny penny in his hand for me to take. I was finding pennies (from heaven) all over the place after he died, and I knew in my heart they were being sent by him. Then the dream solidified it for me.
Mom died in February of this year. We had a tumultuous relationship my whole life, to put it mildly. She was 95, with advanced dementia & living in Memory Care AL for nearly 3 years, always telling me what I was doing and did wrong, how miserable she was, etc. I was her biggest disappointment in life, that she couldn't have 'children of her own' and was stuck with me. Lately I've been dreaming of her nearly constantly. Most dreams I can't remember, but some I do. Last night I was at her ALF; 2 male caregivers were in her room, one was washing her mouth out with soap for some foul thing she'd said! She had a forked tongue like nobody else on earth. I was trying to get his name to report him, but he wasn't divulging it. The dreams I have of her aren't good, but they're not 'nightmares'. I'm not sure wth is going on, what the message is, what my subconscious mind is trying to tell me, no idea. Only that I'd like to STOP dreaming of the woman b/c dealing with her for 10.5 years was enough. More than enough. I guess I'm still working through all the stress & trauma of those 10.5 years of caregiving I went through, IDK. It would be nice to have a GOOD dream of her though, a visitation where she tells me all is well, or I love you, or thanks for all you did, or SOMETHING for godsake, that isn't negative. You know what I mean? Still waiting. May be waiting for a very long time on that one, though. :(
I do not believe your mother is mad at you for what you've done in her house; in spirit form, they don't care about earthly 'stuff' anymore and see things through OUR eyes now, that is my belief. If you can let go of that ONE belief you have, that your mom is mad at you for 'redoing her house', I'll bet you'll stop having these dreams altogether. Maybe not, IDK, but work on it; it's worth a try.
Wishing you the best of luck having better dreams and better sleep health in general. Wishing the same for myself, too. :)