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Thanks talkey and cwillie. The hospice social worker is coordinating everything with the nursing home(s) (I selected a few, hoping one would have a room). Here's hoping all goes well.... Safety is the name of the game... Mom has fallen 2 times this week and it is only Wednesday....
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I had my mom in NH for respite twice. The first time I checked in often and it was disaster! The second time I was out of the country so I couldn't check how things were going but I had to leave and I just had to trust that she was cared for. Now mom lives at the same NH and I've had time to better understand the whole institutional dynamic, it may not be home but the people there are safe and their basic needs are taken care of. Of course there may be some fall out after she gets home but you will all get through it, honest!
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I did this with my dad a few years ago. It was disturbing to me that I thought everything was all set, as I'd gone in person to make the arrangements and see the facility, but nothing was ready for him when we arrived. I probably didn't help the situation, because I became so upset and didn't want to leave him. I did, tho, and I had arranged for visitors for every day while I was gone, and he actually did just fine, even made a friend in his room-mate.
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