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My Mother was asking for help with her finances, and the only way my brother would give it, is if she gave him POA. She trusted him, at that time, and signed the paperwork that he put in front of her, not reading it.


My Mother has all her mental faculties right now, she just has some physical and medical limitations. She is NOT incapacitated.


My Brother has recently decided to take over her Doctor and has told him not to talk to me, though my Mother specifically asked the Doctor to speak to ME, her daughter. She has never told her Doctor that she "wanted" him to speak to her son. She keeps telling me that she did NOT sign a Medical POA and wants to see the document that my Brother "says" she signed. He is threatening my Mother with a Nursing Home if she doesn't do as she is told, regardless of how she feels.


Though she and I have both asked, he refuses to produce the document.


He told the Doctor that he has MPOA, but the Doctor has not put that "document" in her online Health Chart.


I saw where the Doctor wrote, "Son has POA" but that does not mean that the Doctor actually saw the document either.


My Brother has asked the Doctor not to speak to me. Has said negative things about me. I advocate for my Mother and I want what is best for her, and THAT is not always what the Doctors want. Doctors "think" they always know what is best, but the over 200,000 deaths from pharmaceutical drugs each year, taken exactly as prescribed, say different. There are over 100,000 Iatrogenic (Doctor Caused Deaths & Disabilities) that occur each year, and that is only what is reported. (They have an abundance of reasons NOT to have those types of deaths reported)


I have personal experience with poor health care, incompetent and arrogant Doctors, who kept me sick and getting worse, for 10 years. I practically lived in the Doctor's office and on my couch, for 10 years, until I woke up and started doing some research. I have spent 1,000's of hours in research over the last 12 years. I know a lot that many Doctors are still unaware of.


Doctors are human beings. They make mistakes. It is very important to advocate for a parent, and monitor what is going on. Many Doctors also have big ego's. That is why they don't like that I disagree or talk about the side effects of all the meds they are giving my mother. They don't like it if I disagree with home health care protocols and standards. They refuse to consider the possibility that each patient is different.


Therefore, I believe the Doctor is jumping at the chance to speak to a more malleable person (Brother) who just obeys anyone in a white coat.


For these, and other reasons, I don't believe the Doctor has actually "seen" the MPOA document.



I need to know for sure if my Brother actually has the MPOA, so I can decide how to proceed from here.


Do I have to hire a lawyer to get him to provide copies?

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If your mother is competent, she can revoke the medical POA your brother says he has but cannot produce. If she does this, she has to notify him as he is the attorney-in-fact but she can do this after the revocation. She should do the same with her financial POA if he is the agent. All institutions that rely on the revoked POAs such as banks and physicians, should also be notified. Because you may have trouble with your brother, have your mother sign the new POA in front of a notary. Keep the original in a safe place. In addition to the medical and financial durable POAs, have your mother execute advanced directives, and a will. Now I am going to poke my nose in and say that you may want to give some thought to your feelings about medical providers. Lord, I know how difficult it can be, especially for a woman, but try not to paint them all with the same brush. I avoid male practitioners if I can and that might be a strategy for you. And continue to keep a sharp eye out to advocate for your mother but do give practitioners a chance, at least at the beginning. And, darn it, hand the new MPOA to the charge nurse at the hospital your mother goes to and ask her to please put it in her chart. And don't forget to thank her.
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Take your mother to see an elder care attorney. It will be well the money spent. The lawyer can find out about POA and make sure all your mother’s legal documents are in order and clearly state her wishes
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JoAnn29 Apr 2022
I don't think he has to find out if there is another POA. Just has to say all prior POAs are revoked and send brother a letter. Then Mom assigns the daughter. I think what brother did is fishy and he doesn't understand what POA entails.
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You say your Mother is perfectly competent.
She should call her doctor office today and ask if there is a file with MPOA for the son. She should tell her doctor she doesn't recall making a MPOA for son.
If your mother is competent, then take her to an attorney. There, if she WISHES TO, she can withdraw Medical POA and financial POA by letter to her son. She can appoint you new POA at the same time if that is what she wishes to do. She/you would then need to notify every single entity on stocks, bank accounts, etc that son is to be removed.
Be certain you want this onerous task.You have to keep track of every penny in and every penny out of Mom's money, you have to do exactly as she says while she is competent and must act in her best interest if/when. You will need files and receipts for every bill, every cost. It is hard work. I did it. I will forewarn you.
I am sorry to hear that brother and sister are unable to get along; this makes things terribly difficult for a worried and scared senior, makes them feel very torn, and is a detriment to their ongoing daily lives.
WHILE you brother is POA he need not present you with ANYTHING. He is acting for your Mother as a private fiduciary. It would be like forcing your Mom herself to give proof.
We often see people say "Mom won't do anything; Mom won't say anything about brother". Know that if that is the case there is nothing that you can do short of, if you suspect fraud, asking Adult Protective Services to open a case for fraud. And you would need proof of your claims in all likelihood for them to open a case.
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Your mother can rescind his POAs.

Did she go through a lawyer? Call the lawyer with mom on the line and let her explain what she'd like to do.
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