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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Yes, sometimes, as is repeated so often on here, our loved ones need more care than we can give. I am sure you did your best, it was not a failure to get her more care, but it was what she needed.
I was just going to share this song lyric with someone else, so my kindle is locked and loaded to copy and paste. I think you also may need some encouragement. Sharing:
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again Danny Gokey Lyrics You're shattered Like you've never been before The life you knew In a thousand pieces on the floor And words fall short in times like these When this world drives you to your knees You think you're never gonna get back To the you that used to be Tell your heart to beat again Close your eyes and breathe it in Let the shadows fall away Step into the light of grace Yesterday's a closing door You don't live there anymore Say goodbye to where you've been And tell your heart to beat again Beginning Just let that word wash over you It's alright now Love's healing hands have pulled you through So get back up, take step one Leave the darkness, feel the sun 'Cause your story's far from over And your journey's just begun Tell your heart to beat again
Phone medication reminders to your mother. Don't nag, but say, I will stay on the phone until you drink some water and take your meds. She may, however, get tired of this and lie to you or not answer the phone.
Establishing a routine is important. I have little medicine cups with stickers on them that say Morn/Noon/Eve/Bed and I set them out where she will be when she is supposed to take them. For example. She takes two pills first thing early morning on an empty stomach so I leave those out in her bathroom by the sink so that when she gets up to brush her teeth she remembers to take them.
LostinIowa, you may want to cut and paste your post and place as a brand new posting. The thread you are on is 7 years old, and many readers if they see it is a very old thread will skip over it. Thus you might not get a lot of answers.
If your Mom's dementia is becoming worse it is time to think about bringing in home caregivers or moving Mom to Independent Living where they offer med-tech care. My Dad had that, and that worked great. We use to leave notes around his apartment in Independent Living to remind him to take his pills. Those notes worked for a few days and that was it. With med-tech option, all of Dad's pills were stored at the nurses office, and twice a day a tech would come around to give Dad his pills and made sure he took them. Well worth the cost of this service.
My mothers dementia has steadily become worse over the last 5 years. She does not remember to take her meds untill late in the day. This means she is taking two blood pressure meds and her lasixall at the same time or within a few hours of each. She is completely lost if a new med is added and she is unable to take any of her meds at this point. I text a reminder in the morning so she will take the correct pills in the am. She usually will call at supper time having not taken anything. I am able to tell her which pills to take but she is not convinced that thats what she should do. So we end up saying the same things over and over again. This frustrates both of us. She has trouble with what day of the week it is so her pill box is useless now. I have sent for a special clock for her that tells -morning and noon and afternoon and.bedtime-it also gives day of the week and date. I found it on line when I researched allziemers clock. I'm hoping it helps.
As a result of a decades old car injury, I have chronic back and shoulder pain. I recently moved to Wisconsin - horrible mistake. I thought the pain clinics here would be like the ones back home, but no, they just want to do physical therapy and I've had all kinds of that. Never helped. Now my daughter has my oxydocone and will not refill my container or give the bottle back. I live alone, take care of myself, and am responsible enough to take medication on time Any suggestions how to get these back?
Juliewi I took your advise and googled pill dispenser. we got a MED-Q pill dispenser. It is great. I set it once, fill it every other week and it does the rest. She hasn't missed a pill in months and months.
Mother has never taken so much as a vitamin regularly, and the concept of taking daily pills is totally foreign to her. She was taking a pill for high blood pressure and we discovered that she had only taken a third of them when it was time for a refill. Why? "Oh, when my ankles are swollen, I take one. Otherwise I don't." We had a very hard time convincing her that they were supposed to be preventative and taken every day. She just did not get it. We have tried all kinds of pill boxes, reminder calls, visits from a nurse, etc. Finally the nurse got an elaborate electric dispenser. The first time it went off, Ma didn't remember what to do, so she crawled under the table and unplugged it to shut off the alarm. Not exactly a safety practice we had in mind! But eventually she learned how to shut off the alarm and remove the appropriate pill box. Sister 1 visited and saw three pill boxes on the table, with their content still in them. She asked Ma why they were there. "Oh, I think those are just my blood-thinner pills." "Um, yes, Ma, I think they are. But why aren't you taking them when you get them out of the dispenser?" "Taking them? Oh, I don't think I'm supposed to be taking them. Hmm ... maybe I should ask the nurse." !!! The next day Sister 2 was there. Four unused pill boxes on the table. That week the visiting nurse left a message that she had found 3 full pill boxes in the waste basket, and that Mother claimed to know nothing about it.
It is worth trying everything you can think of to help your loved one take their medications regularly. But I believe there comes a time when it is not safe for someone with dementia/severe memory loss to live alone. We are at that point with our mother.
Sibling3, your medication problem sounds exactly like the trouble I have with my mother. In the past year or so, I tried to take charge of her medications. Once it resulted in her ransacking my room, threatening to kill the rabbits, and trying to hit me twice. Then she stayed up all night, told me to leave her house, and said she was going to have the police remove me.
After all that, I tackled things in a different way later. I took charge of her diabetes and blood pressure medicines by placing a bottle on the mantle that had the pills she was to take the next time. (She has 4 medicine times a day with different drugs.) But she would NOT let me take charge of her Ativan or Tylenol III. Her doctor told me to take charge of the Ativan, but it is not something I look forward to. She is an addict who takes a pill anytime she feels a bit stressed. I know things will go smoothly until the first time she wants to take that extra pill. Then it will get ugly.
We have had this dilemma with our Mom. Now it has gotten worse. She cannot remember when to take them and either forgets or takes multiple doses. She also likes to 'organize' her pills and pill bottle, dropping some, losing some, tucking some away and finding them later. We tried the electronic dispenser, but we are really past the stage where that is helpful. Now my brother holds onto the pills and dispenses them to her in the AM and PM. Very often, he has to allow her to 'organize' or rummage through the bottles before she will cooperate. Most of the time, Mom is in denial that she has any memory problems, and that we have to help her with anything. We have been paying her bills and caring for her in a very comprehensive way for three or four years, yet she still insists that she does all this herself and has never needed help, nor does she forget anything. She becomes combative and has broken down the door to my brother's upstairs apartment in an attempt to recover her medicines several times. We have considered giving her bottles with just a few pills in them or even placebos, but she still sounds quite rational on the phone and will call the pharmacy for refills, and again, she stashes and drops and loses pills and finds them later and takes them, off schedule. Has anyone experienced difficulties like this? We have tried everything we can think of or have read and researched into, but we would still welcome any suggestions. Her memory is extremely bad and she forgets any conversations and agreements after a few moments.
One of my siblings, or I make a call to my mother every morning to tell her to take morning pills. Same method for eveing eye drops and bedtime insulin. Most times that works. It's more work on our part, but she is unable to remember otherwise. I also taped a calendar to the table near the pill box and tell her to "X" out the day after we speak at night. This has helped, too.
I also had the same problem with my mom. She also is suffering from dementia. In the begining at her early stages she got confused, especially with the am pm pills, that is because she knew she had taken one earlier and really did not know the time difference. I finally had to get rid of the pill box, and just let her use the actual precription bottles and had her doctor adjust one of the pills to be combined with another. She know every morning to get up and take 1 pill out of each bottle. Now I do realize that there may be someone out there whose parent takes more than 4 pills a day but check with their doctor and find out if any of the medicines can be combined, such as fluid pill with blood pressure pill etc. If your parent is not capable of taking meds on own you really she have someone there daily to administer the meds. My mom for some reason even though she has this dementia sits down every morning at breakfast and reaches for her meds to take, she even knows when she is down to 2 pills its time to go to pharmacy. I have found out with dementia persons, wahtever routine they were in for a while they still try real hard to keep it. I know she will get worse and eventualyy forget altogether , but for right now I let her continue(with supervision) to take her meds. Good luck to you, but trust me, dont know whats up with the pill box but they dont work well for elders,Smile
Have one of those for Mom, but it's more of a reminder for me to give them to her. She has PD and advanced dementia. It's getting harder and harder to get her to understand taking the pills. If your Mom is having this much trouble, maybe she can no longer live alone. Take her to her doctor and see if she is in the beginning stages of dementia. You may need to have someone with her at least at pill taking time if that is her only memory problem. Depending on what she takes meds for, it is always best to get them on time. If she forgets and takes them late, then takes the next dose soon after, there could be a big problem! The alarmed pill box is a lifesaver if you have your wits about you, otherwise, it's a good tool for caregivers.
We had the same problem. Eventually we just had to start handing her the pills.
Someone did tell us about a product on the market to help. Some kind of electronic dispenser. It is supposed to make a noise or announcement when it is time for medication and open the right compartment. If the pills aren't taken in a certain time, it shuts it down so they can't take too much later. There's even one that hooks to their phone. if the pills aren't taken, it is programmed to call you.
Google automatic or electronic pill dispenser and lots of choices come up. Good luck.
My mother experienced the same thing. We had the home helper remind her. She would respond yes and then get distracted. Then we had the helper who was there in the day time watch mom actually take her meds in the morning and then I would call around 9 each night with my cell phone to stay connected until she took her meds. Then, everything went downhill.
Once a week I separate my dads meds into easy open zip lock bags labelled monday am, monday afternoon and monday night and so on, (a version of what they do in nursing homes) I keep the bottles in a special bag with me, which prevents any chance of overdose or "self help". He likes not having to worry about refilling each one at the pharmacy, Thats all my job and its worth it to know that he is taking all that he is supposed to.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It is almost 6 am here. I wake up several times at night and often come here. I'm going back to bed.
Or, a coincidence that I should also choose health and turn out that light?
Yes, sometimes, as is repeated so often on here, our loved ones need more care than we can give.
I am sure you did your best, it was not a failure to get her more care, but it was what she needed.
I was just going to share this song lyric with someone else, so my kindle is locked and loaded to copy and paste. I think you also may need some encouragement. Sharing:
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again
Danny Gokey
Lyrics
You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
'Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Don't nag, but say, I will stay on the phone until you drink some water and take your meds.
She may, however, get tired of this and lie to you or not answer the phone.
If your Mom's dementia is becoming worse it is time to think about bringing in home caregivers or moving Mom to Independent Living where they offer med-tech care. My Dad had that, and that worked great. We use to leave notes around his apartment in Independent Living to remind him to take his pills. Those notes worked for a few days and that was it. With med-tech option, all of Dad's pills were stored at the nurses office, and twice a day a tech would come around to give Dad his pills and made sure he took them. Well worth the cost of this service.
It is worth trying everything you can think of to help your loved one take their medications regularly. But I believe there comes a time when it is not safe for someone with dementia/severe memory loss to live alone. We are at that point with our mother.
After all that, I tackled things in a different way later. I took charge of her diabetes and blood pressure medicines by placing a bottle on the mantle that had the pills she was to take the next time. (She has 4 medicine times a day with different drugs.) But she would NOT let me take charge of her Ativan or Tylenol III. Her doctor told me to take charge of the Ativan, but it is not something I look forward to. She is an addict who takes a pill anytime she feels a bit stressed. I know things will go smoothly until the first time she wants to take that extra pill. Then it will get ugly.
I also taped a calendar to the table near the pill box and tell her to "X" out the day after we speak at night. This has helped, too.
The alarmed pill box is a lifesaver if you have your wits about you, otherwise, it's a good tool for caregivers.
Someone did tell us about a product on the market to help. Some kind of electronic dispenser. It is supposed to make a noise or announcement when it is time for medication and open the right compartment. If the pills aren't taken in a certain time, it shuts it down so they can't take too much later. There's even one that hooks to their phone. if the pills aren't taken, it is programmed to call you.
Google automatic or electronic pill dispenser and lots of choices come up. Good luck.