Hi
using a fake name on my profile as person in question goes online.
My nan is currently 81 and has 2 children, my mother and her son. My mum is already dealing with health issues of her own yet her son is always causing trouble, in and out of prison yet she constantly favours him over me and my mother.
I know a mother should love 2 kids the same but every time she calls it’s my son this and my son that, no interest in us hardly, like he’s a golden child and can do no wrong, she’s so obsessed with her son she’s really spiteful towards me and both my parents. My dad who is 58 recently had a heart attack and trying to get healthier and loosing weight and instead of giving encouragement even when he looses weight, she goes on about her son about how fast HE lost weight and now well he’s done. Like no one gives a sh*t and it isn’t about him all the time.
It's causing genuine upset that it seems she only calls to brag about how well her son has done. I got mad at her today while on a walk because she was at it with me and told her you do nothing but kiss his backside even though he caused you to be in misery, yet me and mum run around after you and show no interest in us, you could see she didn’t like it. She also hates being told she’s in the wrong and think she’s a know it all too.
You also can’t tell her anything because she can’t wait to run to her son and gossip, she’s told him very private things such as financial issues, health issues which has caused embarrassment and when you confront her she claims she’s done nothing wrong. Blabbing and breaking trust is doing something wrong.
How do I deal with such toxic behaviour? Do we just cut her off and get on with our lives? She doesn’t have dementia and lives independently with my grandad and to be honest he just follows her around like a puppy and agrees with everything she says. She’s 81 and grandad is 86.
Thanks
Second, what do your parents think about this? Are they as fed up as you are? Perhaps they cope better about ignoring it, and although it isn’t bothering them, a lot of your own anger is because they aren’t treated better. Before you go into battle with nan, it would be good to talk to them. If they agree to do something about it, work out a joint approach. If you don’t, it will probably make things worse all round.
Perhaps you can get back to us with a strategy, and more posters can try and help with ideas. Steering clear of your drop-kick uncle sounds like a very good idea, for starters.
I’m disabled myself, and he and her thinks it’s ok to tell my mother how to care for me lol
yeah I told her off but she’ll keep doing it
Favouritism isn't *exactly* causing arguments, is it? It's caused ONE incident where you gave your grandmother a piece of your mind, and she didn't take it too kindly.
When, by the way?
You never know. She may have been annoyed, but that doesn't mean she didn't hear you.
I don't know many people who are gracious about being told they're wrong.
Independently of your grandmother's behaviour, what do you think of your uncle as a person? Do you have much to do with him? He sounds a bit of a loser, just going on what you've said.