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My mom says the same thing. I tell her every year she needs to get a flu shot, her doctor tells her she needs to get a flu shot, but NOPE, she refuses. I too have DPOA, but I have to follow her lifelong wishes and I do not, nor will I, push her to get one anymore. This still gives her what little bit of control she has over herself and her life.
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my2cents Aug 2019
You might ask her why she doesn't want it. Some friend may have told her it gave them the flu. Maybe ask her in front of the dr so he can explain it to her. The older she gets, the more fragile her body to fight a bad case of the flu or pneumonia.
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The influenza shot is not given to anyone with adverse reactions, e.g. has had a allergic reaction to it in the past.
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Shane1124 Aug 2019
Or an egg allergy.
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Influenza killed about 80,000 people in the 2017-2018 season. And as many as up to 700,000 need hospitalization.

Please remember you can have the flu and not feel any symptoms until days later.... by then, you had already infected everyone around you who hasn't had the flu shot. I would hate to have been the one who made an elder deathly sick from the flu, or even a grandchild who didn't have his/her flu shot.

One thing I noticed with my parents, who lived to their mid-to-late 90's, they had been getting their flu shot every year for over 40 years. And for several decades did they volunteer work at a regional hospital 3 times a week. Not once did either parent ever had as much as the sniffles all those years.

I also do volunteer work at the same hospital, and I remembered back in the 2017-2018 flu season, the hospital had to set up beds and hospital recliners in the hallways for patients because there weren't enough rooms to handle everyone :(
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Shane: Yes, true about that in regard to eggs. Though freqflyer is right about the importance of getting the flu shot.
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There are controversies towards the flu shot & what they are putting in it. I do not blame your mother one little bit.I will not get one either!! Make sure she takes good care of herself. Sleep enough, eat right, stay hydrated & wash her hands often. Keep door knobs & phones & the like clean. Of course, stay away from anyone sick.
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Psyclinz Aug 2019
While Debbiesdaz does not say whether or her mother is in a care facility, it seems likely given her report that her mother still "talks, walks, and still knows me" and refers to dementia. So advising her to "make sure she takes care of herself", stay away from sick people, and so on, is probably not helpful.

It is an unfortunate fact that influenza spreads easily, and especially amongst unvaccinated people, and even more so in care facilities, where monitoring 'handwashing' of residents with dementia is just not a feasible reality.

To Debbie's question however, this is a tough decision for you to make. In her cognitive prime, your mother did not choose vaccination. Perhaps at that time she was able to use other methods to avoid infection, e.g., complementary and alternative medicine. But these would likely no long be available for her to choose.

You could consider making the decision based upon your mother's historical preference and circumstances, or you could make a choice based upon the best advice you can gather - that will take account of her risk of infection in a care facility (higher) and also the risk of her infecting others' loved ones in the facility if she does become ill (higher).

And we all need to remember that having a flu shot is no guarantee of avoiding the dreaded lurge.

I wish Debbie all the best in weighing the pros and cons, and you will make the best decision you can in choosing for your mother.
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I was 55 years old before I didn't have any health insurance and I was broke and decided that through my temporary job, I could get a flu shot and that it would be "cheap insurance" to do so.  Have been getting them ever since and never come down with the flu, plus I don't get sick like I used to.  At the same time, I talked my mother into getting a flu shot because she was ALWAYS getting sick resulting in pneumonia.  She was freaked out about getting it, but I insisted on it, and she has not been as ill as often as she was, plus she even WANTED to get the pneumonia shot, which she did, and now she wants to get the Prevnar-13.  She is 89 years old.  She has been in a facility for 3 1/2 years now, both AL and MC, and I am her POA and Guardian.  I recently decided to sign the DNR due to the A & B x 2 that she received at the FORMER facility where she was that left her septic as a result.  She is now doing much better, but I left the DNR in place because what she has a diagnosis ( dementia and Alzheimer's) has no cure, so the end result will be the same.  However, I don't have to "hurry it along".  The end result is the same for all of us down the road.
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My 97 yo mother with dementia ended up with 3 flu shots this year. First one at pharmacy with us. Second one at her ALF. Third one at the hospital when she was admitted for heart failure. I have medical POA, but no one bothered to ask me if it was okay. It didn't hurt her.
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johanna1234 Aug 2019
How do you know it didn't hurt her?? You don't generally drop dead from a flu shot. The other ingredients in the vaccine should already send up red flags as to what it can do to the brain. And then it's highly ineffective due to it seldom dealing with the particular strain of flu that's going around anyway. Once again, if it's so effective why do homes get hit by "flu" over and over again when everyone gets the jab. Please do your homework before allowing your loved one to be injected by toxins.
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