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Who is really going to go visit and observe care more - you or them? If they are committed to going at random times, spending time to observe, then do nearer to them (if it won't be a problem for you to get there, too.) You can always move him closer to you if you see the sons aren't doing what needs to be done.
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Ruth9EP: This is a highly personal decision. However, the choice comes down to a few factors as follows:
- Although it may be a good idea to have your DH placed closer to you, you have a few health criteria to deal with for yourself.
- Your sons may indeed mean well, but they have families of their own.
- Perhaps you have considered moving closer to your sons.
- If YOU were to move, albeit it a major step, you could have your DH placed in the facility 40 miles away/near your sons.
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