I have brought this problem to the attention of the general manager and she assured me the problem would be addressed. The employee just today told me she said “get used to it this room is your home and your never going home”. This is 100 per cent opposite of what our PCP physician said to tell him. What are my legal rights as a caregiver to request that this employee does not interact with my LO? He has dementia. I want to add this facility is an upscale establishment and is private pay.
I don’t know her motive. He has in the past been a disruptive resident but has gone to psych hospital for medicine adjustment and I’ve been told that he’s no problem now. When she tells him this he gets agitated. I think she wants him to act inappropriately because she knows these statements upset him.
If the nurse is aware that what she says upsets your LO, she is either trying to get back at the resident (and you) for reporting her OR she is trying to get the resident to move to another facility (because she does not want to "deal with him anymore".
Management should explain to the staff that the doctor said to avoid discussions about "home." The doctor may have to write an order in your LO's chart to this effect.
I would recommend the 3 strike rule. 1st time is "educating" the staff and management of the treatment order. 2nd time is "reminding" the staff and management of the treatment order. 3rd time is "disciplining" the staff and management of the treatment order. If it comes to a 3rd time of reminding staff, then you may need to contact a lawyer who specializes in senior care or family care and sue for neglecting prescribed medical treatment. The staff member is guilty mental/emotional abuse as well as neglect of your LO. You may also wish to contact the licensing agent for your city/county/state and report the incidents.
You may want to consider moving your LO to another facility if management is not willing to address your issue.
Let me ask you~ is the dementia currently so far advanced that your Dad doesn't realize shortly afterward exactly what he was told.
It does sound to me, no matter what has or has not been said to her, that saying "Get used to it" is abusive, and I do feel that she may be trying to "get back at" a helpless patient who has posed a problem for her, due to no fault of his own (he isn't responsible.)
What did you say to her when she said to your that she said this? Did you ask her not to do this, that the result is agitation for your father that even SHE should find problematic, if for no compassionate reason, then because it makes more work for her.
I believe I would request a meeting with the director and the "Nurse" and yourself present. See if she denies what she said to you, be certain this was addressed in past and CERTAINLY is addressed now.
I believe the general manage/ administrator as well as head nurse addressed this issue. That is not to say I Don’t constantly get “when am I going home” calls and these calls are Very stressful to me to a point that it was suggested I see a psychologist. I suppose the time is past where I could have a meaningful conversation and exchange because every call is hateful and accusatory... why am I here ; there’s nothing wrong with me . It’s so difficult to deal with the same person you love and who loved you and now to cringe when a call comes in. I have to learn to accept this is what it is now. I’m not there yet.
I know exactly what you are talking about.
My husband has a brother in Memory Care as well. We were receiving phone calls that my BIL was having behavior issues. I knew something was provoking him. Thus, when I contacted Administrator, she could not given me any answers. It was all my BIL's fault.
I contacted the Ombudsman. She quietly went to see what was going on. She told me "he was being disrespected" by staff.
You know what happened, next? A whole new staff was hired.
Sorry, it does happen but it should not.
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