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It’s like beginning a relationship with someone new. My Mom overreacts with me, is loud, has no boundaries with those around her, cannot hear - and is just as you described your Mom.

Before these changes, I’d know how Mom would react to most things. Now it’s all just intensified. I’m so surprised at some things she’s said and done the last few years. Now, coming to grips with these changes, it IS sad.

We are experiencing grief for what was. I recommend caregiver support group, which you have online, here. Try to plug in with a local support group - I am lucky to have an active group of 8-10 caregivers in all stages of caregiving. Read up on what to expect in the future of dementia caregiving so you’re able to see ahead of the curve. Right now, I’m researching how to best navigate conversations with Mom about all the things she does not want to do (because I’ve suggested it).

Hope you stay in touch here.
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KatKat124 Aug 2019
Omgosh! Reading your answer here today was like I wrote this. Thank you. It has been so helpful reading the emails each morning from the Aging Care. It has been very Sad to see my Mom changing , my heart breaks very time I speak to Mom nowadays. God Bless
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I agree with Harpcat that age 71 is young for those kinds of changes. My mom (at 90) is also like that, but she was always like that and now the volume's just up on all of it ;-) I also manage care for 3 other relatives between 85 and 100 and the most difficult thing is to try to look at them with new eyes and remember they are no longer 100% their old selves (and they can't help it). You don't see the dementia "line" so when they cross over and back its upsetting and confusing until you can come to grips with it. I think reading up on dementia will help, as will knowing there's so many others walking the same path as you right now. Wishing you peace with your mom!
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71 in my book these days is still rather young by comparison to the past. So an early personality change like this is concerning. It is true that as people age their world narrows and they do become more self centered. However why has she changed at this age. Has she had any medical check ups recently? My mother died of a brain tumor at 64 and her personality was affected. So I would level with your mom. Tell her what you’ve observed, that you are concerned ther could be something wrong. And would she consider seeing her doctor. If she does, then go with her and try to let the doctor know what you’ve observed. It could be a physical issue or mental.
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Oh yes! I use to think my mother was supportive and maybe she was! We use to talk a lot, however, I am sure unlike your mom (mind was talking about me behind my back). We live together now and we don't talk unless she needs something or I need her to do something. I have learned to detach from her!

What you are describing above was probably the first signs of dementia (I don't know for sure), but I remember telling her something--anything and some how it became all be about her! I could tell her something small and she would just take it to a whole new level or it would turn into an argument. Well, I just stop calling her and didn't really talk to her for 4 to 5 yrs (this was when my dad was alive). I didn't understand what was going on! Now that hindsight being 20/20, I think it was dementia showing its ugly head! Even my dad couldn't stand to talk or be around her anymore.

I wonder does your mom have dementia? You talk like your mom is showing a new personality changes! She could of had a mini-stoke and no one would have know it--not even her!

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this...to me this is one of the hardest things to go through in the beginning, because it is so confusing. My heart goes out to you! To me this is where the mother I knew and thought who loved me died and someone else took over or maybe for me (just speaking of my relationship with my mother) her true colors came out)! Sigh:(

Hugs!!!
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