Home is in our name, but in laws paid half. FIL wants his half left to kids. This was never discussed 7 yrs ago. Any help?
7 years ago, my husband and I purchased a home with his parents. It was 50/50. FIL now wants his half, left to the other 3 children, because he got mad 4 years ago, that his golden child (son from 1st marriage) was mistreated by my husband (1/2 brother). My husband has always been a scapegoat for my narcissistic FIL. Sister (1/2 sister, same mother) has been instructed to come after us for FIL contribution, after he dies. He denies this. He loves to attack us verbally, whenever possible. The past 4 years have been hell on earth. He has turned the whole family against us, so we have no support system. The MIL knows nothing about FIL's smear campaign. When we try to tell her about it, she says that it's too hard to believe. She is the ostrich of the family. She just wants everyone to get along. FIL is mean and hateful, when she is not around. He is almost 94 and a diabolical liar. We made a contract years ago and all four of us signed it in front of a notary public. The contract states that if one of us passes away, the three remaining will own the home, and so on, until there is only one. Even though the deed is in our name only, we constructed this contract to make sure that it was fair to all four of us.
The father in law told my husband's half sister to wait and come after the money when he dies, because he doesn't want to be a part of it, even though he started this entire battle. He has destroyed this family. The house was paid, in full, 7 years ago. My husband and I had to take out a mortgage for home upgrades. We are stuck here. Any ideas on ways we can protect ourselves from the SIL?
if his name is not on title he has no say at all. Period. End game!
The mortgage belongs to the ones who applied for it and regardless who or how title is held, it must be satisfied before selling or liquidation.
The deed in your name and that contract shows Dad agreed to everything. The other thing going for you is you owned half the home before this agreement. Count in Caregiving. Any money you put out for them you got no return from. I think there is some decline here. For now, see a lawyer when u can. Let Dad say what he wants.
Just thinking here so take it with a grain of salt. Lets say when u took over the home it was worth 100k. Dad bought half for 50k. A few years later its worth 200k. (And u have put ur money into it to improve). Is Dad really entitled to half, 100k or his entitled to initial payment of 50k. And, over a period of time, Dad has saved on rent, utilities, taxes and insurances. So he has offset that 50K.
My opinion, the siblings are not entitled to anything to do with the house. This is just ramblings.
So you have a deed in which only you and your husband are named, but there's a side contract between you, your husband, and your in-laws, which (a) addresses ownership rights of all four of you, jointly, presumably, and (b) addresses rights of the others if one of you should pre decease the other?
B/c of the difficulty of staying online, I haven't had a chance to read all the other posts, so there might be an overlap, or I may miss something. But just from your initial post, I think there's really a chance for a battle afterwards between the contract, the Deed and whatever the will provides.
There's a possibility of your amending your Wills to add an "in terrorem clause" as it relates to the house. I just wanted to throw this out and will try to write again and explain.
Thank you for sharing your story, hopefully it stops anyone else from making the same mistake that you made.
Caregiving has really made me feel like no good deed goes unpunished. You help the needy elder and some how you end up being the bad guy. What!?!?
Thank God that you have the deed in your name, that is the legal proof of ownership. So grin and bear it knowing that you hold all the aces.
Great big warm hug! You guys didn't deserve his garbage and the family turning on you. Go make your own family with people that love you and whom you love.
By law, when it comes to real estate, if it's not in writing, it didn't happen.
Unless the in-laws have paperwork that shows they legally own 1/2 of the house, then they have no claim to the house.
So, this is a verbal agreement? If so, morally, they do own 1/2 of the house as you said you bought the house with the in-laws and it's a 50/50 ownership. Why was it not in writing? What did they originally agree to do with their 1/2 of ownership? Give to you/your children?
Edit to add: I read your reply that you agree to live with them and take care of them in exchange for them paying 1/2 of the house. Understood.
Do not say anything to FIL, MIL or SIL about this. Do not get roped into conversations about the house. You and your husband act like everything is fine because it is fine; you have a deed and a contract. FIL's are the rantings of a narcissist whose perhaps coming unhinged with reality. Ignore FIL and SIL.
You have two choices! 1) If your FIL's name is not on the deed you can just make payments to him for half the house (pay him back). In this case, you are doing what is ethically and morally right! However, if there is no legal paperwork to show that your FIL paid for half of the house then he has no legal right to it.
2) Do nothing because he does not have any rights to the house; however, this could and probably will cause a riff in the family.
I would NOT put anybody's name on my house and I don't care what they (FIL & SIBs) say because you have know idea what their intentions are. You sign half the house over to FIL and he leaves his half of the house to your hubby's SIBs and the next thing you know someone wants to move in or someone decides they should have a say on what you and hubby can or can not do with YOUR HOUSE! I have seen this before and it NEVER turns out good for the real owners of the house. Please don't put anybody's name on the house, just figure out how to pay off your FIL! He will screw both of you over and not lose a night's sleep! Know that you did do what is more than fair with the contract!
heres my take on this..... If in fact house is only recorded in your & hubs name, like it’s recorded as that at courthouse and in annual tax assessor bill, and on all “hazards” (homeowners insurance, flood insurance), it’s viewed as just in your names.
The initial mortgage has been paid, right? Well if so and Release of the Deed of Trust was issued by the old mortgage holder and Release was recorded at the courthouse, then whatever was on or associated with that old mortgage agreement is done, gone, over, doesn’t matter. If Santa loan you 100k on a 150k home, doesn’t matter; what matters is that full 150k was paid off in fulfillment of mortgage terms. Any lending flowing from that mortgage ended when Release done. FIL would have needed when original mortgage was filed or recorded, to himself have recorded some sort of document at courthouse to have an $ amount interest on the property based on his lending ..... nothing like that exists now does it?.... and I bet he knows this and is really pissed off that he didn’t do this. If he had done this he would have a legal “securitized” interest on it.
That notarized document is cute but didn’t attach “securitization” onto the property. To get that done something would have been filed & recorded at the courthouse. The notarized document still is an agreement and it likely can be entered into probate as a claim or debt against the Estate.... but it’s for terms or conditions initially done. And whomever is Executor can review it to determine in discussion with the probate atty as to if it’s a valid claim, entered as such at the terms in the original notarized agreement. To change terms at a later date would require new agreement with fresh signatures by the 4 of you.
If you & hubs got new securitized lending on the property..... like that new mortgage for repairs / upgrades you mentioned.... the new lender did a title search to see if any old debt on the property. And that new lending agreement would have had some sort of statement as to new lenders secondary position to old mortgage company, (which has the primary or first position in lending). If that’s not there, then House is owned outright by you two AND FIL & MIL show no ownership in the property. If they had ownership, the bank would have wanted them to sign off on the repairs $ loan.
probability is FIL or MIL will predecease you & hubs. When that happens whomever named in will as Executor will need to deal with the property. And Executor can list it as an asset of Estate. You & hubs as owners of property have the real estate atty file a challenge to property’s inclusion for probate docket. What’s likely to happen is an in-chambers meeting is called to discuss. I just don’t see court going with house goes to last man standing, but instead ask for a fair value placed on the % deceased share. The real estate atty can tell you how to work the valuation to discount the increase in value you & hubs have put in it over time along with % of the costs y’all have paid that actually was in-laws share. You need to keep all the old tax assessor statements & property repairs / renovations to support all this. A good atty will know what to do now to be at-the-ready when someone dies.
Generational lending is sticky to work thru as there’s so much dramarama, so having an attorney imo is needed. Plus FIL is a bully and likely with dementia. Good luck and stay above the drama.
The decision was made when MIL fell outside on front porch at the same time that the FIL fell outside in the back, next to the garage. She was standing in a rocking chair to hand up a Welcome sign. We knew that they could no longer live alone. We lived two blocks over. They sold their house 3 days after put on the market, after my husband and I spent thousands on new hardwood flooring throughout their house. Then, my husband and I spent thousands on two different moving van trips. We also paid to have everything packed, since they did not pack anything, except books. Then, my husband and I rented two storage units for their extra stuff. MIL crafter/hoarder. One unit was for an antique car that I bought for FIL for 10,000. I used part of my land sale money. My brother and I sold 5 of 10 acres, prior to the house purchase transaction. No one in the family even knows about all the money that we spent to get in this house. My husband and I sold our home to his nephew. We let him keep the 15,000 equity, so he could purchase the home. We did not move in here for any monetary reasons. We did it because we knew it was the right thing to do. I would have done it for my own parents. I sure wish they were here, instead!