My husband and I are without family except for our daughter who is 41 yrs old. She has estranged herself from us. We are really nice people, really we are. We were not abusive to her in any way, but she says she is done with us. We are 72 and 85. Husband has been unwell most of 2020. I told her in a letter that we could use some moral support and I told her how old we are. She replied that she knows how old we are. That I was trying to make her feel guilty. No word from her since then. She has blocked us on social media and the phone. We are not asking her to come to our town and take care of us. All I ask is a Christmas card and mothers/fathers day card. Maybe she could call us and inquire how we are faring during the virus, but nothing from her... Do you think there is any hope here with her? What should I do about this matter?
PS she is a professional in the health field.
You might try the following. Instead of telling your daughter what YOU need, you might consider sending HER cards on Christmas and Birthday, telling her you think of her and wish you have a better relationship with you, and should she ever wish to contact you that you are very open to listening to what you might have done to cause her to withdraw from you.
Meanwhile, make good relationships, pretend that for all intent and purpose you never had a child. Make good friends, have reciprocal network set up in which you help others to get to appointments, negotiate problems, and where you can lean on them in times of need.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Since you wrote a letter and she responded, that is a little glimmer of hope. She read the letter. So, perhaps you could send another letter, but make it about HER, not you. Just mentioning your age, she claims you are trying to guilt her. So, nothing about you or hubby in the letter.
Ask her how SHE is coping with this virus (those in the medical field have a very difficult and dangerous job - no clue what part of "health" she's in, but probably more exposure than you get.
Ask her if there's anything you can do to help her.
Ask her if she can try to explain why she feels you are try to guilt her (on some level, mentioning your age and asking for "moral" support is a bit of guilt laying - not excessive by any means, but clearly it bothers her.)
Even if she doesn't reciprocate, continue to send her cards for birthday, holidays, just because cards, without asking for anything or expecting anything. Send your love in these cards. Say that if she ever needs help with anything, you'll be there for her. But nothing in these about either of you. Even if there are some medical concerns, try to leave those out. These are only to reassure her that you aren't asking for anything.
Some people may interpret reaching out, mentioning age and asking for moral support will mean asking for more and more later. She may have witnessed this with a friend or co-worker. Unless/until you can find out from her why she has closed the door, it is really all you can do to assure her that the door isn't locked on your side.