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Mollyandme - its been a while since I got back on here...any updates? Did court go OK? Hugs...
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MyLadyAlexis, there is not a faster way than going through the court system to get guardianship. Have you seen a lawyer about this?
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My father gave POA to a so-called friend he was living with in Florida. After she spent most of his money shopping, salon appts., and such, she put him into a nursing home. She still retains POA and is using his bank acct. for her personal use. She even cashed in his VA life insurance policy. How do my siblings and I put a stop to this?
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sharkey, you need to get a lawyer and file charges.
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cmagnum, a lawyer is something I can't afford, however I am told that some will allow for a free consultation of about 20 minutes or so, but how can one discuss something so important in 20 minutes? It seems I am forced to go this whole thing alone. My siblings won't help either me or our mother financially or otherwise. I have also tried to find pro bono attorneys in my area but they seem to be non existant... lawyers here are like a pack of wolves, they all stick together.
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I think if your brother were to die before you mother, then with no one designated as a back up POA and your not having the funds to pursue guardianship, then your mother would become a ward of the state and the state would become her guardian via someone. Google elderly parent becomes ward of the state and see what you find.
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my father unable to make any decissions mentaly,where he use to work won't give me any info about his pension or anything he has no money for a lawyer he lives in
detroit,mich. what should I do file power of attorney or guardianship we do not hve much time he is very sick. please help
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You need him to sign a durable and a medical POA for you to be able to legally help him. If he is either not willing or not able to sign, then you will have to file for guardianship.
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I applied for guardianship for my husband after 25 years of marriage, but his daughter also filed. I was told by the court that a court appointed guardian would be better because we do not get along. So I agreed. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am so unhappy with this arrangement. The guardian does not read my emails and does not return my phone calls. Can I have her removed or made to act in my husband's best interest? I would not recommend this to anyone.
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My father just passed away and my mother (89) has Alzheimer’s and is in assisted living for memory care. My father was my mother's POA and I was my father's POA. I have a medical POA for my mom that went into effect when my father passed but there is not a contingent POA for me to continue to handle my mom's finances. My mother is my father's beneficiary so she now owns everything solely but is incapable of handling any affairs. My father named me in his will to be appointed as executor of his estate and that process has started, but since my mom had joint accounts with my dad, I am unable to pay their bills with the money he has in the bank because my appointment ended with his death. Meanwhile the bills are piling up and I am unable to utilize their monies in the bank to continue to pay their bills as I have for them the past two years when my father took ill. My father's lawyer and probate court told me that I will need obtain guardianship (which according to the lawyer will cost approximately $4000.00) I cannot afford to pay this nor can I afford to take care of my mom's $3400 monthly rent at the facility in which she has resided for 5yrs. My mother owns 4 properties now and the bills need to be paid. I feel overwhelmed with the thought of the time that is going to take to get me the authority to continue taking care of my mother and handle her financial needs. I have 7 living siblings scattered across the nation, but I have solely been responsible for my parents for the 10 yrs. that they have lived in the same state with me. They have allowed me to take care of our parents, but I keep hearing that this could suddenly change when it comes to managing their money. I am in desperate need of advice. I will follow some of the advice of some of the posting, for example; contact the office of aging to see if I can obtain some direction. Has anyone been close to my situation?
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Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but your brother has POA and is the Executor of her will. While she alive he helps her pay her bills and helps her take care of her finances. I do not know if he has a durable power that is also good if person becomes mentally incompetent. When she dies, your brother as executor is responsible for taking care of her estate. I don't understand why guardianship is being talked about here.
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The trustees(my cousins) have kept my out of the loop with my fathers care,a lot of money is also unaccounted for .Elder abuse was called and my father is not able to make his wishes known what can i do?
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My husband is in a nursing home , he is only 61 but has competency issues due to an injury combined with too much alcohol. The problem the psychiatrist says he isn't competent to transfer the deed to our home over to me. This must be done prior to the medicaid application going in. I cannot afford the upkeep as we don't reside together . They donot allow you to rent it. I t's paid off and we'd loose it. The nursing home has had him sign papers that they needed that only he could sign so they can get paid by medicare. If he is competent to sign those, I'm confused and afraid. The attorney which cost $250 to talk to only advice was to call the nursing home administrator and have him have the doctor chsnge the diagnosis.
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Can 2 people have guardianship over our mother (two sisters)?
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Thank you all for your answers. In the past four years almost nothing has changed. My mother has been actually pretty healthy but something is going on with her now. My original question was based on the fact that my brother had control of everything to do with mom and I was totally left out. Nothing has changed except me. I will not seek guardianship if he should die and she will have no one to pay her bills if he should do so tomorrow. Much bad blood has passed between us over the past four years but now things have just sort of settled into an uneasy peace. I think her health may be taking a turn for worse since she is going on 85. We will see. I just know that if my brother should not be able to take care of her business, she has no one else and I will not seek guardianship. I have explained to her numerous times the foolishness of being so paranoid and playing favorites. But that is her choice and we have a very poor relationship. It is what it is.
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I recently had to put my mom in a nursing home.I am paying all of her bills and do have POA for her medical directives. While mom really doesn't have or own anything valuable she needed someone to direct her Social Security checks to the nursing home. My sister and I were both given money by mom months before getting sick and going into a home.My sister doesn't want to deal with the bill paying etc...and now I am having to pay many out of pocket expenses.I tried to get POA but the lawyer says I can't if my mom is not mentally capable of signing something.What do I do? I don't have enough money for the forms for guardianship.
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I recently had to put my mom in a nursing home.I am paying all of her bills and do have POA for her medical directives. While mom really doesn't have or own anything valuable she needed someone to direct her Social Security checks to the nursing home. My sister and I were both given money by mom months before getting sick and going into a home.My sister doesn't want to deal with the bill paying etc...and now I am having to pay many out of pocket expenses.I tried to get POA but the lawyer says I can't if my mom is not mentally capable of signing something.What do I do? I don't have enough money for the forms for guardianship.
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helenb, talk with the nursing home social worker about working on your mother becoming a ward of the state since you cannot afford guardianship.

How long ago did your mother give you and your sister some money? Depending on if it was less than 5 years ago and how much it was, that gifting might come back to bite. I hope not.

Let us know how this works out.
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I am the POA for my 85 yr. old Mother. I have an older sister who's caused so many problems over the years I've taken the POA over. She was the previous one and my mom asked to have me because she is concerned my sister will not follow what she wants. My sister recently took my mom to Social Security and put herself as payee representative and made some serious allegations about my handling her money and caring for her. The POA in Illinois means nothing to SS so I need to appeal it. I just want my sister to leave us alone. She resides in another state and myself and 3 other siblings live in the state where my mom resides. None of us really have any money and it sounds like its pretty expensive to get guardianship. Any suggestions would be most helpful.
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Maccheesy, this means your sister, as rep payee, gets control over the social secuitry check. You probalby can't afford NOT to lawyer up at this point. If Mom is competent, she is allowed to change her POA and could obviously be bamboozled into it - if I am reading this right, sis came in from out of state and took mom for an outing to the SSI office? Holly Cow, that's cheeky. Don't underestimate her and what she may do next if her goal is to steal from your mom. If you can document you have been handling her finances properly and sister did not, then you ought to be able to prevent that from happening.
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@beechgirl...You may have gone to a law office where they do not understand Medicaid well. The truth is whether he transfers the deed to you or not, a home is not a countable asset and you are a "community spouse" in any event and they are supposed to leave you enough for the upkeep. If he did give the home to you, it could even be construed as gifting but that gets complicated. I take it he would not agree to sell if that was the best option for you?

I too was occaisonallly floored by some things requiring my Dad to sign even though he had no clue whatsoever what he was sigining. I was there and could tell lhim it was OK to sign, but it made no sense that I coudl not sign as POA instead.
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Your right. However I nor my siblings have the money to go for guardianship at the prices I was quoted by two attorneys. I'm going to go this weekend to where my mom lives and take her back to social security to see if this can be resolved. My sense is my sister, who along with her husband, have plenty of $$ so if they want to go for guardianship I'll let them spend their $$ and I and other siblings will contest it. It's my belief my sister wants to take my mom to her house and as payback for childhood issues won't respect her wishes to die at home. It is evil in my opinion.
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Forget trying for guardianship. It's very time consuming, expensive and (court system) stressful. Go with what 'vstefans' suggested, however, most attorney's will not change someone else's (your mother's) legal document(s) without her signature/authorization. However, her attorney could explain to her that your concerns are valid and realistic. If she won't listen to you, she might listen to her attorney. Most POA's have a 'back-up' person written into them (surprised her attorney didn't counsel her on that at the time the papers were drawn up) and Wills should have alternate Executors. Without alternates - Wills can end up in Probate - especially if there are others named in the Will. Do you have any other siblings? Do you have a copy of the POA? And yes - as cmagnum indicated, you really should have a DPOA for financial AND medical purposes, along with a POLST (in California); DNR and Health Care Directive.
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How do I start the possess of getting guardianship over my father
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I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Guardianship of a parent is a blend of Elder Law and Family Law and differs from state-to-state. Maybe by visiting the website below you can decide on some things before you contact an attorney for a consultation. Something this important should be discussed with an attorney in your governing area. Best of wishes.

http://www.clarkcountynv.gov/depts/public_guardian/Pages/TypesofGuardianship.aspx
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I'm not sure if you can use your mothers money for a guardianship that you are trying to get.It sounds illegal to me.
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My brother was taking care of our Mother we had no problems with this until a fire had them leave their home. She ended up in a temporary stay at a nursing home he immediately had someone come in to do a POA on her. He then had control of her money she received from the fire (22,500). He spent it on everything except getting them another apartment which he promised her he would do spent money on fixing up his ex wifes house paid her bills bought himself and his family members new clothes and a lot more all out of my mothers fire insurance money. SHe ended up with another of my brothers who ended up kicking her out due to his own agenda with his wife. But my sister had to step in and have his POA dissolved in order to protect my mothers SSi check and retirement checks. He spent those also for 3 months on his own personal stuff. Mom ended up in a hospital on a vent and when it came time for her to come home he already had spent all her money(3weeks) it took him to go thru all her money, put her account in the hole at the bank, its just a mess. My siste is now going for guardianship of Mom which I support to the fullest. Mom is in the nursing home now due to my sister and I both have back injuries from work and cannot lift her. This is killing both of us now he keeps telling her is going to take her out of the nursing home to his "new" apartment he was to get long ago. He cannot make it financially without Moms checks is the only reason he wants her with him. He couldn't even afford to get her scripts when she got out of the hospital cause he spent all of her money. Is there someone who could help us and try to keep him away from moms checks each month. By the way he is her golden boy and would do no wrong in her book. She will tell you she has blocked what he has done then goes off into her own little world talking about crazy things and yes she has dementia. any help or answers for me?
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BillyJ, it is generally legal to use parent's money for their legitimate legal needs. Ikey, your sister is in the process of doing exactly the right thing by going to court and getting brother legally prevented from further appropriations of mom's funds, and if you have the nerve, you can sue him and attempt to get some of it back because that is blatant abuse of the POA. Guardianship prevents Mom from giving POA back to him is she recovers to the point where she could try to. Sorry this happened to you. It is very hard to go up against a family member but it had to be done.
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I was POA for my mother for 4 years. I also had been living with her and taking care of her finances and home and health needs. She recently fell and spent only one day at the ER. She was diagnosed Paget's disease. My daughter, her granddaughter, and I agreed that she should go and stay with her and her husband temporarily because there would be more help to lift my mother up and down from a wheelchair. Within the space of 3 weeks of staying with my daughter, she had convinced my mother to change her bank accounts, change her POA and her living will, stripping my name from everything. After explaining to my mother what has happened more than once, she never seems to recall doing any of these things, eventhough, her signature is on all the documents. My daughter is not financially sound and my mother does own her own home and does have a moderate amount of savings. I talked to a lawyer and she told me to go for legal guardianship. I am worried that my mother will lose everything and that my daughter now has the power to put her in a nursing home which is the one thing my mother has never wanted. She has enough savings to have care in her own home. Has this happened to anyone else?
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I have medical poa for my mom. my nephew is stepping in and trying to take over what can I do?
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