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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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He resists no matter what I suggest. Take a walk, go for a drive in the car, watching something on TV. He sleeps a lot. His PC knows about all this but is unhelpful. Have made an appointment with a geriatric doctor to see what is going on.
The time may be coming when realistically you cannot continue to care for your husband on your own. That may be the sad truth. There is no answer to the end of life care of someone suffering with dementia. In general they become more uncooperative. In general they sleep more, exercise and eat less. I am so sorry. That is all to say you may be seeing an unhappy but "normal" progression. Is there some way to get any in home help as a try?
Other than what is suggested below I would also recommend just using the extra large body wipes on your husband and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps on those days when you can't get him to shower. Both work great and you can order them on Walmart.com or Amazon. And you may have to do what I had to do with my husband towards the end of his life and that is just brush his teeth for him.
Peggy321, as we get older, taking a shower is like going to the gym. It can be very exhausting. I am in my 70's and both hubby and I are finding showers very tiring. I opt out for a bath, instead. But that can be a challenge standing up in the tub when finished.
For dementia, some people find they don't like the feel of the water hitting their skin when showering. Maybe a different shower head or shower head setting might work.
Some people develop claustrophobia, finding the space too confining. If one has a shower curtain, keep the end side opened a bit. The same for a shower door.
There is also the fear of falling. If one is using moisturizing soap, it can make the tub mat feel slippery. Grab bars help. Try a shower seat.
Could be since your husband is no longer working, he is depressed. I know I was down in the dumps after the business I worked for had closed its doors and here I was only 73.
Yes, another set of eyes such as the geriatric doctor would be quite helpful.
Retirement without purpose is a tough challenge. I didn't know what to do with myself. 12-14 hours days to trying to fill up my days. Whew! Rough going for a bit.
Personally, our family had the good fortune to find a neighbor who was an experienced caregiver and we paid her to come give my Aunt a shower 2x a week. Sometimes it is just helpful to have a "neutral" person to do this task. We started by telling my Aunt therapeutic fibs, like: we are having company today, or we have an appointment today. After a while that didn't work. We also just resigned to the fact that she'll only get showers 2x a week and not more, just to keep her stress level down.
If your husband is agitated or aggressive, then yes this is a conversation to have with his doc to discuss medication.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is there some way to get any in home help as a try?
And you may have to do what I had to do with my husband towards the end of his life and that is just brush his teeth for him.
For dementia, some people find they don't like the feel of the water hitting their skin when showering. Maybe a different shower head or shower head setting might work.
Some people develop claustrophobia, finding the space too confining. If one has a shower curtain, keep the end side opened a bit. The same for a shower door.
There is also the fear of falling. If one is using moisturizing soap, it can make the tub mat feel slippery. Grab bars help. Try a shower seat.
Could be since your husband is no longer working, he is depressed. I know I was down in the dumps after the business I worked for had closed its doors and here I was only 73.
Yes, another set of eyes such as the geriatric doctor would be quite helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-help-with-bathing-and-personal-hygiene-top-tips-from-caregivers-212010.htm
Personally, our family had the good fortune to find a neighbor who was an experienced caregiver and we paid her to come give my Aunt a shower 2x a week. Sometimes it is just helpful to have a "neutral" person to do this task. We started by telling my Aunt therapeutic fibs, like: we are having company today, or we have an appointment today. After a while that didn't work. We also just resigned to the fact that she'll only get showers 2x a week and not more, just to keep her stress level down.
If your husband is agitated or aggressive, then yes this is a conversation to have with his doc to discuss medication.