Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I'm so sorry you are going through this gut wrenching time. Please know that all of our our hearts are with you. I agree strongly that when someone is at the end no medications should be held back. Your mom is lucky that you have been such a strong advocate for her. You have been with her throughout this entire difficult journey and I wish you comfort and peace.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I wish you peace on this sad and painful journey.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Final update: Mom took her last, soft breath while I was in her room. It was incredibly peaceful . I know I'm very lucky because it's not always that way.
Thank you to everybody who was supportive without judgment.
I feel incredible relief. Many people counseled me to not get involved in carrying for my mother, but I'm glad that I did.. It almost tore me up... but I fear I would have been more torn up by my regrets if I hadn't... In retrospect I did it just right. So did she.
Love to all on this journey who haven't reached an end yet.
Helpful Answer (13)
Report

Wicki, I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad that you were able to see if through and get your mom the care she needed at the end.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

Wicki, So sorry for your loss. May your mom rest in peace.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

(((Hugs))).
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I’m so sorry for your loss, Wicki.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

What a blessing you were to your mom. You, and your family, are in our prayers.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Wicki, so sorry for your loss.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I am glad your mother is finally at peace.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Wicki, I am so sorry for this loss. Please let yourself be flooded with relief for your Mom and for the good job well done you fought at her side. My Dad used to say to me regarding his fear of doctors trying to keep him alive "Kid, stand between me and them with a shotgun, OK". He would laugh then and so would I. But when I think of it you may not have had a shotgun, but you wielded a pretty mean stick when you had to. You stood at her side her guard through this. You should be very proud as she would be OF you, and thankful FOR you, and knowing you would be OK without her now. Though I like to think, at 82, I still have never BEEN without the two sweet people who raised me. While I go on they are with me.
Hugs out to you Wicki. Please rest gently knowing she's at peace.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

I am sorry for your loss, Wicki. You served your mom and yourself well. No regrets! ❤️
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Thank You everyone for your kind words. I followed many of you and taken your experience to heart.
I'm So glad I did this. I don't feel I need to mourn, I feel like I've swept out the dark corners of my childhood, I was there for her every step of the way and yes we fought and yes we argued and I even told her what a pain in the butt she was and I didn't want to hear her complain anymore... But we are human and I did the best I could and so did she.
Thank You all for your kind words. Sadly this is a dark journey no matter what anybody likes to say but ...there is light at the end of the tunnel... It just was in my case very long tunnel.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
AlvaDeer Dec 15, 2023
Wicki, I hope you will stick around, or return to Forum. You have a lot of experience in the "not perfect childhood" realm as a person who despite this stepped up with courage and honesty to DEAL WITH IT. You can be of help to so many others, given your honesty and how articulate you are. I wish you the very best ongoing and hope I see you here on Forum often.
(4)
Report
((hugs))
no words needed
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Going through helpful posts now that I'm caring for my dad at end of life, and this one is so helpful (as are your updates). Thank you for sharing it. This came on suddenly with my dad today, too. All was well this morning, then after a few hours he starting showing up as disoriented...not realizing he is in his own home, suddenly not sure how to use the TV remote, dentures in/out/in/out ("These are not my teeth!"), and seeing strangers next to him and getting very annoyed (yeah, not the loved ones coming to guide him). Hospice nurse gave him some Lorazepam when he stopped by and thinks what's happening is a combo of progression and side effect of the Tylenol PM Dad took this morning to try and sleep (which has NOT happened). Said it may abate on its own or this may be a new normal for us. The Tylenol is such a seemingly innocuous med, but it has always left Dad a little "off" the next day. This is 10x. I've barely been still for 10mins at a stretch today either as a result. Overnight caregiver comes at 7, which will give me a chance to take a short break out of the house before I come back to stay close for the night.

One positive is Dad asked me today how much time the nurse says he has. I was honest and relayed the "days to weeks, depending on his body" estimate they have recently given me. He accepted that and said himself he feels like something changed today and it could be just days away. I was sad to agree with him, but as of today, I do. It is comforting to me that he isn't afraid. I just hope this agitated, confused state isn't 24/7 to the end now. Will do all I can to help him avoid that.

UGH. This is legit the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Even harder, in some ways, than caring for my late mother through her 9-month journey with cancer. Perhaps because it was easier to point to the cancer as the reason she died? Dad's is more decline and frailty at this point (and yes, some underlying issues). Both of my parents have gotten to make their choice in the end to die at home on their terms though, and for that, I am grateful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Msblcb Feb 7, 2024
I agree. We think my mom had vascular dementia and a low injection fraction so we are not really sure what she died of (the dementia or heart issues). It is not easy when the decline is “failure to thrive”, one of my least favorite phrases.

You are in my prayers!
(1)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter