My father has been sending money to online scammers since I was 10-11. I am now 19 living away at university. I don't exactly know how much my dad has sent to the online scams in total, but this is really affecting me and my mother's mental health. My mother works full time, but due to health reasons my father cannot work at the moment. My dad does not contribute to the bills at home leaving all the bills and debts to my mother who unfortunately does not make enough to be able to afford all this. I also have an autistic brother who lives under care but will sometimes need funding from me or my mother. My father has asked for money from so many friends and family which he has not paid back and this has ruined his and my mother's image to friends and family members, which really hurts my heart. Me and my mum have tried so much to get him to stop his addiction. I dont understand why he has continued to do so for so many years. I am really desperate for help and so if anyone could give me some advice on ways we can get him to stop it would be really appreciated. (PS. I deeply apologise for writing so much, but this is my first time ever asking for help with family issues on an online forum and I'm just not used to writing these things.)
What do you mean by "lives under care"? What kind of funding does he need from you or your mother?
You are wise to look into solutions for your father's out-of-control spending now. I am looking into a crystal ball, and I see money being a problem when your parents need in-home help as they age. How old are you? How old are they? (This is an Aging Care website, after all.)
Start separating yourself from their financial issues now, as you may not (should not!) want to become responsible for their care (as in paying for it) when they are old.
My DH and I do give generously to the causes we feel close to. We NEVER give a dime to the ones that call us.
I wonder if mom could go to the bank and have a limit put on both CC and DC? A small amount, if all dad does is give it away.
(ps. thank you for taking the time to help me out with my situation i appreciate the helpful comments)