Our mom is 90 and lives alone. She has 4 daughters, the oldest is barely involved. Three of us are caring for mom but the oldest sister has very little to do with mom and does nothing for her care. But she wants us to keep her updated on everything which I wouldn't even mind but each update has her making recommendations and suggesting things to do. She has no idea what is going on or what state our mom is in on any given week. So I end up writing lengthy replies to address all her questions or tell her it's already being done. How do we deal with this? Btw this sister has an explosive personality and often leaves cussing and storming out from holiday events and other major events. I believe she has some kind of unaddressed mental health or personality disorder. I am exhausted from caring for mom, working part time (this same sister was off for a year during the pandemic while all 3 of us were still working and she did nothing to help. She has no children), trying to see my 6 grandkids and volunteering with my church and community and she is making my life even more overwhelming. What is the proper way to deal with this...I don't want to be cruel especially for my mom's sake who has always protected her and takes up for her.... also annoying.
Thank you for your insights from outside:)
Paula