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Loneliness is the constant companion of grief. But grief is unavoidable for anyone who has lost their spouse. Losing one's spouse is not like losing a parent, or a sibling or a friend. Losing a spouse is one of the highest stressors a person will experience. Your mom is still struggling with the loss of her partner and will be for some time. It is one of the toughest obstacles she will face. I lost my wife in January of 2018, and although I no longer grieve her death, I'm still lonely and long for her. Being alone and loneliness are not the same. One can be alone and not feel lonely and vice versa. Socializing with others or being with the family can “cure” being alone, but it doesn't help much with loneliness. One could be in a crowd and still feel lonely. So just keep visiting and answering the phone to let her know you're there for her.
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Lovebug37 Feb 2021
Thank you so much! I agree being lonely and loneliness are two different emotions and my mom is lonely.
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Personally I do not think there are too many things one can do unless you find a really suitable person to stay with her and devote lots of time. I will be 88 and very lonely but I have a kitty to care for and love; I still work two jobs (51 years and l4 years); I learn new things daily and seek to keep up with world events; I take care of myself completely even though I live in assisted living as I can't walk. There is no one to be friends with here - no interest in life and activities (I drive and love to go out to eat) and most have dementia. So I am lonely, except for lots of e-mail friends. I have accepted this is a part of being old and no longer an interesting person. So I stay by myself and find things to keep me occupied and happy - lots of hobbies and always doing something. It works great. Or you may have to place her somewhere so she can make friends and not be lonely.
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Lovebug37 Feb 2021
Thank you so much for the advice and taking the time to respond. I agree I'm trying to get her to start volunteering with one of her neighbors. I wish you the best!
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I wonder if the hair situation is really dry, itchy scalp? There are many mild shampoos on the market for this.

My mom does not have her CG everyday, Lost dad last June but can manage most chores alone.

She has friends in her senior community and has still has no interest in socializing.

Sister and I visit each week. When mom (84) is alone she just sleeps.

Her priest visits often for good talks and she enjoys that.

Its a difficult time for sure.
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