My 74 year old mom got referred to a neurologist by her primary care. She thinks she is fine but when I called her doc they told me she has moderate memory loss and got aggressive during the cognitive test. Her whole family has noticed memory issues and I'm pretty sure she has dementia. I scheduled a neuro visit for when I visit her next but she already says she doesn't want to go. She has been a difficult person as far as I remember and is only getting worse. My dad accepts that she is declining and wants to take care of her, but he's old, too.
From what I've read, medications for dementia are kind of a crapshoot and require close tracking to see if they're helping or making things worse. I do not believe either of my parents are capable of doing this, even if my mom were willing to visit a neuro or take a prescription (no to both so far). Should I continue to push for her to see one? I'm also working on getting them to accept any kind of outside assistance and setting up their advance directives and only have so much energy to spend.
I understand in 2021 it is much better. Our neurologist labeled everything "Alzheimer's." Our Physicians Assistant saw him last and she wanted him to see a neurologist and our Primary Doctor said it would be to difficult for my husband at this late time.
It doesn't matter to me - it's difficult no matter what. Fortunately meds started in 2011, ten years ago, and it helped immensely because now we're in the decline, but we had ten good years with meds.
Today I found that we are not eligible for Medicaid until we use our assets. This is problematic for many spouses to live on their measly social security. Sure am thankful I am not trusting the government for help.
My parents felt humiliated and demeaned by the testing. I had no interest in putting them on more medications.
They lived out their lives, just fine, without the meds.
Their memory was not perfect, but they were perfect to me, just the way they were. They remembered the important things. Their memory was clearest when their stress was low.
My recommendation is to adjust your expectations instead of their medications. Love them. Value them.
This is a scary time for your mom. You will help her get through this if you tell her that it doesn’t matter, you love her completely, for who she is.