My 99 year old mother fell about a month ago and fractured her hip. She was living in Assisted Living. She has had multiple falls and injuries in the past. She had always participated willingly and fully in physical therapy she even seemed to enjoy the attention at times. With this new injury everthing has changed. She does not want to do the therapy, she does not want to get out of bed. She seems to have given up and feels there is no reason to make any effort. The therapists force her to try and stand, the goal is to allow her to at least stand and transfer so the hoyer lift (which frightens her) will no longer be necessary.
The last month since the fall has been one of non-stop physical, mental and emotional torture. All for her own good.
Her Dr. put her on anti depressants but so far they have made no difference.
So my question, is there a time we respect the wishes of the person, even if dementia and depression affect her thinking? Should we continue forcing her to do therapy in the hope that she will be more mobile eventually? There has been some improvement as she can now stand for a minute or so with support from the therapist.
My father is 92. He had surgery for a broken hip 9 days ago. He was transferred to SNL for rehab yesterday. Twice, while in the hospital, the physical therapist managed to get him into an almost standing position so he could pivot from the bed to the chair. He did not want to do it because it hurt. The therapist was very patient and finally got him into the chair. The process back into the bed was even worse. He just doesn't want to experience any pain in order to get better.
I understand why people say our loved one has led a full life and should be allowed to rest and not experience the pain of rehab. But I don't understand, in our situation, how we can let an otherwise healthy person lay there and wither away.
I wish I had an answer for you and me both. For now, I think the best we can do is take it one day at a time and pray our loved one will regain the will and strength to participate in therapy and the healing process.
I will pray for you and yours as I pray for me and mine.