I think the family have all pushed me in the direction of being mums carer. I am not sure how much my inability to cope "in the world" is due to the attitudes I have learned from family or would have happened anyway. I now live in a small town with what is, to me, limited opportunities, when I'd prefer a large town with more options. I want to make the best of life as it is however. I wonder what others would suggest?
I am low in confidence because I just don't seem able to get on with others. I have tried different groups and had jobs here. My physical health does not help either. Now to try to face the same people with more confidence and hope and apparently less chance of succeeding than before.....I would like my mum to see I will be OK when she dies....
I also wonder what Medicare is in the UK and how to contact them?
I made that decision regarding my parents not too long ago. I help now and live with them, but, have decided, that I will not be available to do hands on care if they should need that kind of care. (I am the sole caregiver for my cousin who is in MC and that has really been an experience. I think it's shown me just how much caretaking can take from you. ) It's just something that am not able to do. I won't go into the details. But, I have a house that needs some work and I'm going to get that done and move there.
I also focused on my health for the last 8 months and have made a lot of success in my getting my health in good shape. I even changed my eating habits and lost 45 pounds. AND, I enrolled in a realtor class and got my realtor license! It was tough, imo, but, it gave me confidence in my mental faculties.
If you don't get along well with others, I'd explore jobs where you can work independently. You can find your niche for sure. Good luck with finding the answers you need.
We don't have Medicare because we've got the dear old NHS which we all know and love so well. But if you're looking for general support as a carer you can try:
your GP, who can refer you on to all sorts of services
your local authority's Social Services for Older Adults, who will arrange a carer's assessment and see if you are entitled to things such as respite care for up to 5 (I think) hours per week - are you still pursuing that degree, by the way?
CarersUK, who have branches everywhere and organise all kinds of user groups and activities.
In terms of being compensated for the support you're providing for your mother, and the limitations it places on your ability to broaden your work and social horizons; that is really something you need to discuss with your mother - if she's able - and the rest of the family. There is nothing in law to prevent her from paying you to be her carer; and there is nothing in law to prevent her from recognising your greater contribution in her will, if she feels that would be right; but this is not the kind of thing you should keep between the two of you because it could lead to your being accused of coercion or abuse - do feel free to raise the issue, but don't do anything in secret.
I hope this is a start, but please do come back to us and say more about how you're getting on. Best wishes,
Our UK posters will have to chime in here with the information on your version of Medicare, but I'm wondering if you've ever availed yourself of mental health services to explore what your difficulties are in getting along with others.
It seems to me that it could be a worthwhile investment in selfcare.