For past 3 years my brother/wife & I/husband have rotated coming to Alabama to support my parents living independently. Parents always reimburse us for the apartment we stay in, utilities, & gas spent transporting/driving down. There is no financial burden on us. Dad died in Dec 2019 & mom’s in mental decline. Now instead of just providing transportation, laundry & occasional respite, mom needs someone living with her to ensure she takes her meds/eats. She still takes care of her own hygiene most of the time, gets around with a walker, can do simple foods, & self-amuses. She bought a house that’s big enough for her & a live-in couple. So instead of us renting an apartment, we’re moving in with her (rotating who’s here). My brother decided he wants to be compensated. He will come this next time with the details of what that means. What is a reasonable amount to compensate? He has a history of inflating prices in his dealings with family & then not necessarily doing the work. I want to be fair while fulfilling my fiduciary responsibilities. I have POA.
I make up her meds and make sure she takes them, do housework, go to doctors appointments with her (because she lies like a rug and tells them what she wants them to hear not what they need to hear). Cut the grass, take care of the garden, shovel the driveway in the winter, take out the garbage, make sure she does her exercises.
I did this for two years with no pay until someone told me I should be getting 1,500 a month. Whenever I mention this she tells me I should, in effect, be kissing her @ss because she puts a roof over my head, food in my belly and clothes on my back (which she gets for free at the church clothes give away).
Meanwhile she gives money every month to her ufpos (useless, freeloading pieces of sh%t ) elder son and granddaughter living in another city who have not come down to help me in the time I have been here.
Her doctor has told her that if I leave, she will be put in a seniors home. She insists she can live alone but she knows better.
One thing to note is that if you are a live in caregiver you must put it in writing when you leave and have the doctor sign a document that they have received said notice.
Otherwise, you could be charged with reckless abandonment, senior abuse and another charge that I cannot remember. That happened to someone here whose mother threw him out then cried to the police that he abandoned her. He had a tough time clearing himself.
Believe me these folks know how to be drama queens and manipulative.
I live in Ontario Canada. If anybody knows what rights live in caregivers have and web sites please help me out with their web site.
As for this situation, if he is doing the same amount of work he should be compensated.
Another thing to note is that being a caregiver is the most stressful thing you can do. Anybody want to challenge me on that I dare you to take of an aged parent for a year and see what it takes out of you.
I would say we are the silent suffers in society.
Grace + peace,
Bob
If he plans to continue rotation, but with payment, there's going to be issues later on that you would never think would happen in your family. To avoid the nastiness that will arise when the estate has to be settled - he will have been draining the finances and will still get his share of the leftovers. The rest of you get leftovers and that's it - talk to an elder attorney and set up the same payment arrangement for all siblings Everyone gets paid the same and everyone will get the same split when estate is settled.
Of course, this arrangement will spend her money up faster so you have to consider what will be done when/if her cash money is all gone and she still needs care. Will everyone go back to free rotation work? Will mom go to a facility?
The elder attorney can do a legal contract and help you with paperwork to report these earnings to IRS because everyone will need to report the earnings to prevent problems for mom later on if she needs a Medicaid bed (if she ran out of cash money). Otherwise, it could be viewed as gifting to a child and all of you would have to figure out how to pay for a facility during her penalty period that Medicaid does not pay anything.
There always has to be that ONE person who figures out how to make a buck off mama, isn't there. At least your rotation deal worked out for a while. Many of us on this site have plenty of siblings and they don't even do that much. Just remember that hired caregivers (not w/an agency) are going to make about $15 an hour (maybe more/less in your area) and brother might be wanting 24/7 pay. If he moves in and saves on his own rent or mortgage/utils, those things need to be considered as part of his payment, in my opinion, all of the bills for the house (cable,phone,utils, etc)
I hope you will clip My2cents answer and show it to your siblings. They may balk at having to go to an Elder Attorney and report income on their taxes, but the more formal the arrangement the better.
It might be a better long term solution
https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/family-caregivers-and-self-employment-tax
Some elderly have lots of cash and do not need to think about future need for Medicaid, then fine, they will never have to provide Medicaid five years of financial account information. If there are gifts detected then the Medicaid eligibility is denied until those sums are repaid or a penalty period is up.
What is the gift amount now? $15,000.00? The care that bro will be providing is certainly more than that! The gift amount has absolutely nothing to do with Medicaid qualification. In fact, in the IRS bulletin about gifting, tax free, there should be mention about the impact on Medicaid qualification if gifting is done. This catches many families off guard.
When Medicaid denies a claim due to gifting some other option is needed for the elder until the amount gifted is worked off or paid out of someone's pocket based on your states cost of nursing homes. There needs to be a care agreement in place and medically necessary care provided and all taxes and other deductions withheld for Medicaid to grant coverage when money has been doled out, even if it is for legitimate care.
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/how-gifts-can-affect-medicaid-eligibility-10006
https://www.elderlawanswers.com/medicaids-asset-transfer-rules-12015
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