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Im 87 and have this problem with much less frequency. He doesn't care how his lifestyle disrupts the family or he would quit the liquids and change his diet. You must get in with your life, visit the family and travel. He can stay home and be near his beloved toilet.
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Michelle2828 Jul 2021
Lol, so funny but I must agree with you if it's gotten to that point. But one thing I would definitely suggest is NOT to decrease liquids (sugary and diet ones, YES) but drinking water throughout the day is essential especially for seniors!

Sometimes people will cut down on liquids because they think that they will not have to go to the bathroom as much. BUT in reality, you don't go to the bathroom as much but INSTEAD the volume of urine increases.

So YES to the RIGHT liquids esp water - for both you, and your husband ❤❤❤
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There are condom cathaders you can buy. They don’t even know their on. I use them in my husband all the time. You can purchase them at any medical supply store they usually run 2.50 each There’s a size chart you can use to make sure you but the right size. Then either but a leg bag or it will fit under his jeans or if you travel wearing jogging pants will be more comfortable for him. This will put an end to your troubles. I would buy a few sizes until you find the perfect fit. Good luck 🙏🙏
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Condom Caths are marvelous 😊. I had no idea they even made them I was using over night pull ups for my bedridden husband , changing the bed two times a night at times . He’s heavy for me to move around due to
sll my neck snd back surgery’s. Then someone told me about them. I ask his VA dr and he ordered them I didn’t know what size so I bought some on my own until I found the right size . They come in CM . I am so grateful because I can sleep through the night now. I’ve had 5 female surgeries myself and I have been butchered by Dr’s in the past , I’ve had to cath sense 1993 so I’m a pro at it. The hospital showed me how to cath Tick but it’s so painful for a man I just couldn’t force that on him on top of all his other problems.
so please go to a medical supply store they will help you with sizing there’s a chart they Will give you buy a few to make sure it’s worth it. Also very important shave the hair away from the area it’s painful to rip out a patch of hair from his penis he will be very upset. Make it easy on him and you. The condoms have some sticky stuff to hold them in place . You can leave them on two or 3 days with no problem. Their great for nights and travel. Be sure to purchase a leg bag or over night bag they can be washed out with hot soap and water and reused .
And for the ladies have to use the Caths with a tiny balloon that blows up inside the bladder with 5 or 10 cc of water then hook to leg bag or over night bag. I hope you find this information helpful . God bless 🙏🙏🙏🌺💕
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Michelle2828 Jul 2021
It sounds like you're doing an awesome job. Thanks for all of the tips. Take care ❤
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My dad who had dementia had a lot of incontinence issues. I got several products online for this problem. Check out some medical supply catalogues.
they have all kinds of stuff for this issue, including what they call a “Texas catheter”. It’s a device that can be used externally but has a bag attached to catch the urine. Supposed to be good to use on car trips and such. Good luck.
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You may be able to use pads instead of depends. There are waterproof ones that you can place in your underwear that are much more convenient than having to completely change a depend. You can get different absorbency too. Depending on your need.

It is important he stay hydrated, but water would be far better than those diet sodas. They are NOT good for his health. Some of the chemicals are toxic. He might like coconut water which is great for hydration. Coffee if he needs to stay awake and alert.
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My Dad always wears depends underwear, then puts in a pee pad (sold by the depends).
Ideally he should change the pee pad out every pee to avoid uti’s.
He can do that going down the road if he’s not driving 🙃, then put the soiled pad into one of those blue bag things made for diaper genies for babies diapers to avoid it smelling. We just twist it up till there’s 3 or 4 in there then tie it off and throw it away. Keep baby wipes handy if he needs to clean himself off every now and then, then antibacterial hand wipes for his hands when he’s done.
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Big yes to condom catheters. My Dad used them for a while and said they were comfortable and easy to empty. They really gave him confidence and a lot of freedom (and saved him from feeling embarrassed). We used a medical supply place that sent us different ones (for perfect sizing) and to try out to see if he liked them. I'd say have your husband try them first for a while, to see if he likes them, then you can decide.
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Heartaches7849 gave the very answer I was going to give you. They are the easiest and best. You may need a doctor's order as they are at a medical supply store. Good tips. Another hint: don't wrap the tape around the penis too tightly. It cuts off circulation. You want it tight enough to seal all night or all plane rides only. Definitely, leg bag and overnight bag.

Years ago another nurse and I were applying one to an unresponsive patient one night. I looked up at her and she said, "our friends have no idea what we do for work". I replied, "my mother said that this was a nice job for a woman". We both burst out laughing. Always keep your sense of humor. Best of luck.
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Michelle2828 Jul 2021
I don't think her father has a catheter???? Am I missing something? 😊😊😊
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Time for the sons to get on an airplane and visit you.
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Depends with an overnight Tena brand stick on pad inside. Change the pad often.

Switch to Pajama bottoms type pants with elastic waist, now in fashion! No belt, buttons or zipper to slow him down.

Water proof incontinence pads. Disposable for the plane (or train?). Washable for home. Garbage bags to collect the Disposable ones.

Seat in first class, first row. Easier to get to the bathroom. No caffeine no booze.

Now the hard part, one cup coffee in the morning if necessary. Allow zero sodas, sugary fruit juices (massive carbs). My dad liked Gatorade, those kool-aid type drops in water but we were trying to get him to drink fluids. Talk with the doctor about how much fluids he should have and divide that over the day. Sugar free hard candy 🍬 for dry mouth unless he has swallowing problems.

Do the kids know his condition? They should which is a good reason for one of them to visit and maybe help you on the flight.

Gold luck.
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Depends on where you are going.
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Michelle2828 Jul 2021
She said, "4 to 5 hours a day for several days."
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If traveling by car, bring along a urine bottle. I recommend a 2 quart bottle from apple juice. Leave the label on the bottle. Dump out the juice, have him use the bottle as a urinal. Stop at a gas station along the way to empty the urine bottle. This system worked well for me and my father when traveling in the car.
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Whatever you do, do NOT let him drive. Is there some method for hiring a driver to drive you both to your location? I am not sure how you find someone but it is often done. If he is on a plane, is it possible for him to go to the bathroom, say, every hour on the hour before accidents happen - or whatever is appropriate in timing. And get an aisle seat towards the rear of the plane. If you go by car, there are plastic urinals made for men and for women. He could use this in the car and no one would know and he would not have to run to the bathroom. And, no matter what you have to do, DO NOT GIVE HIM OR ALLOW HIM TO EAT JUNK AND DRINK SO MUCH - It is causing major problems and will kill him very soon. BE TOUGH AND DON'T PERMIT IT.
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MargaretMcKen Jul 2021
You might find a driver on social media. Some people will drive as their own cheapest way to get from A to B. Usually it's a 'share fuel cost' basis, but you could be willing not to charge if someone is willing to do the driving. It's 1800 kms from here to the closest city (Alice Springs to Adelaide), and these deals happen regularly. Airfare is expensive!
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Just have him urinate in a diaper and while you’re traveling without a bathroom, cut out the liquid except for a very small amount.
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If you can drive, I highly recommend renting either a trailer or small RV that has a bathroom in it. We purchased an RV many years ago because my husband had diarrhea all the time. He also was in discomfort with his stomach. We purchased a small RV that had a bathroom. Only 20 feet or so to a toilet, and a change of clothes in the closet if he couldn't make it. A small travel trailer would do the same. If you get a small RV you could even drive it around town if necessary. It is like a handicapped placard, so nice to have when you need it.
Make a vacation out of it. You can learn to drive either one if you put your mind to it. I am 87 and still drive.

We eventually upgraded to a 36' diesel pusher, which I drive, but that is another story.
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pamzimmrrt Jul 2021
This is a great idea for alot of us,, but it seems she is not comfortable even driving her car for more than a few hours. My cousin bought a van sized camper, and they love it,, but it still takes getting used to and is not for nervous drivers. And she still would not want to drive more than 4 or 5 hours from her post,, so this will still be a long drive.
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My husband has to pee all the time due to prostate issues. I have to go more often since getting older too. Oh gosh, I remember it being awful when I was pregnant!

I never drink sodas but I love my coffee, which is a diuretic.

So sorry that you and hubby are dealing with this. It’s very bothersome.
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It says the doctor added an overactive bladder medication. Is the doctor aware it is not working? Has he been tested for UTI? Has he been checked for enlarged prostrate? An enlarged prostrate is a common problem as men age. One thing that can help is if he makes certain he is completely emptying his bladder each time he goes. Sometimes the incontinence/ frequency is due to overflow. The bladder gets full and spills over. Also if he only voids enough to relieve the full feeling but doesn't empty his bladder completely, it won't be long till he needs to go again. Also you might have him talk to the doctor about therapy to strengthen pelvic floor muscles so that he can hold it better. I hope this helps.
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Has anyone thought about Mom having to help take off his pants and wet diaper, dispose of the diaper and help Dad put his pants back on ? All this takes more then a few minutes you know. She's better off leaving him home with an excellent caregiver and traveling herself. I think the sons are selfish to ask their mom to bring their father out to visit. I can already imagine that they have no clue as to what Mom is going through . Mom !...you don't owe your sons an apology for saying " Look it's too much strain on me to bring your father so I'm leaving him home (with good care ) and I'll be there to visit . " If they get upset ..so be it . Make an adult decision you can live with . You're the " Mom ."
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well first and I am sure YOU already know this, he needs to stop drinking diet sodas as they are not good for you to start with, regardless if diabetic or not. Then the iced tea is another trigger for having to urinate all the time. can he switch to flavored water instead of the diet sodas? How are his sugar levels with all those sweets. Its only going to be a matter of time and playing roulette with his body. my mother has been diabetic for a long time, never drank soda but didn't worry about the levels even when she is on the pills for diabetes....she now suffers with some kidney issues, and her heart is not pumping as well so that causes edema in hand/legs. Not sure what he can do other than urinate in the depends and change them when he can. wishing you luck.
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Maybe it’s time to have a family meeting to discuss Dads issues and time for the sons to anti up and come visit you and dad.
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