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I have the same situation. Choose to visit her in the facility for Thanksgiving. She may already be comfortable there and definitely safer
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To bring it down to brass tacks, Thanksgiving /Christmas/birthday is just a day. You could make it any day you want, so I suggest you do Thanksgiving with your family on November 24, and Mom's Thanksgiving the day before or after.

This is about you and your comfort, not hers, so I suggest you realize that and adjust accordingly.
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If you don't think she will do well, then don't take her out. If you do "just because", she will pick up on your uncertainty and it will be extremely hard on both of you. Both because of what you are expecting and what she is capable of.

My Mom resides in MC. She is just happy to get out of there, get some sun, see a different environment and be out of the realm of the same people, some are who are in much worse shape than she is.

When I brought her out for her 100 birthday, she was just happy to be out and watch all the people enjoying themselves. She didn't want to be a burden to anyone so she did not interrupt the conversations (which she could not track). She ate what we gave her and didn't eat what she didn't want to eat (we doled out small portions repeatedly.) She stopped eating when she wanted to (she actually grazed during the meals.)

She can feed herself and she does have difficulty getting the food into her mouth. However, we were around a bunch of people who were just happy to let her be whatever she was. We cleaned up the food from the floor before we left. She wasn't constantly asking "can we go now".

I do think the decision to take her out or not is more based on the environment that she will be thrust in. My Mom did not recognize all the people who were present, however, she was happy just to be there and be included. There was no fighting, just a lot of chatter and happy times, which would have occurred with and without her.

We are planning to bring her to my sister-in-law's house for Thanksgiving.
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Hi, Mom's long term memory may remember Thanksgiving as a huge event,After all she has been celebrating since she was quite young. On the other hand, she may not be too keen on the exact date. If she expresses a willingness to participate, you may arrange a near by date for a party she would be very happy with. Ask about her favorite memories, but don't take. the answers as carved in tone. Just listen as if they are suggestions. Our family ate turkey that day, Your mom may ask for fruit cocktail (big deal out of a can long ago) or a vegetable not popular today. She may not care if you produce it, but would love to tell her story again. We ate pumpkin pie, and were not sure if it was special. Her memories may include. if you used Grandma Edna's sugar spoon, the once a year candle holders, or something like cloth napkins. Will she have seen the Macy Parade or televised football? Skip the difficult or sad notes. You can invite someone she'd recognize, or if she could handle several, more. But make the day about her good bits: Aunt Jessie's oatmeal cookies to show you appreciated them. If you have the strength to forgo the fuss, a picture book including photos of Thanks with a single serving of pie may do, depending on her tolerance. Don't be disappointed if she insists she wore a costume, had a basket of jellybeans. Those warrant happiness, too. And in your special celebration, take a bow. Mom is still so thankful for you.
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Hello, we just moved mom to a small Senior Care Home from a large AL apartment. They are hosting a huge spread at Thanksgiving. This last month has taken its toll on us with mom's numerous falls, ER/SNF, moving to a smaller home & serious sundowning. We just need to diffuse and have alone time. So this year, we will visit her at Thanksgiving for a bit. This will still be celebrating with her but a bit different. I would suggest you take Thanksgiving to your mom, as for the same reason we're visiting mine - I don't think my mom would do well coming to our home, it's likely after 1 hour she'd want to go back. I encourage you to not feel guilty about it and have some time for you.
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jstejera: In my humble opinion, bringing your mother home for Thanksgiving day would be quite disruptive and unsettling for an individual with Alzheimer's. You're correct in your line of thinking by saying that "I don't think she will do well."
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Bring a mini-Thanksgiving celebration to her. It doesn't have to be on Thanksgiving either. Celebrate together in ways that she can participate - sharing a meal or snack, decorating the table... Then, you can stop feeling sadness about her disease and find ways to share joy.
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Bring dinner to her. My husband is receiving hospice services and our family comes with dinner, sets it up and cleans it up. Staff will be happy to help you with table, et.
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