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Mom has dementia and I am noticing that she is blending television stories with life, sometimes making her very anxious. Is this a common experience? Also, I have tried to minimize impact by blocking channels and putting a limit on the rating allowed. She has quite a bit of trouble operating the remote and the pop ups from blocking and restricting channels makes her frustrated. How do you control television while minimizing frustration for our loved ones?

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I didn’t know everyone was having to monitor the TV around their LO with dementia. My mother became violent with my father which motivated the family to have her assessed by mental health professionals and we learned her dementia was progressed.

She accused my dad of ‘battering’ her and it was the other way around. This violence was so out of character for her I asked where did she even get that word and idea? He just pointed at the television...
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Garden: On one rare occasion, I scolded myself BIG TIME after I was tempted and did buy one of those trash magazines. What a bunch of proverbial "hog wash." LOL You had a good point about younger adults getting wrapped up in those tv shows.
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Most of the shows at my MIL's NH are inappropriate. I gave them a DVD of I Love Lucy with lots of the early episodes, but as far as I know they may have showed one. Most of the workers are younger and probably never heard of Lucy.
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My parents also get agitated by TV. My Dad watches national weather and can't distinguish that from local weather.. and obsesses about it. My mom sometimes mixes up Facetime conversations with real life visits.. I guess that one is harmless.

I was surprised at the Memory Care they always talk about them watching movies. My parents lost the ability to follow a movie plot long ago. They can watch like wildlife documentaries, old sitcoms like the golden girls, old shows like Johnny Carson... where you don't have to follow much of a plot.

The other day the activity director at the MC said she had a movie for them... Philadelphia.. that is the story of the attorney that was dying of aids and fighting a court battle with his law firm.. omg.. I can't imagine anything more inappropriate. She said she googled movies that people in their age group might enjoy. They might need to do some training on choosing entertainment (movies/tv shows) for people with dementia..

I think the relaxation DVD's that sunnygirl mentioned would be a good option.. with a fireplace or an underwater scene. .. I might look into that and get it for the facility as a Christmas gift.
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Llama, you make a very good point. I do think that younger people, especially those w/ little activity outside the house, also become engrossed in tv, as well as dramas of others, including the stars.

Have you ever noticed how many of the tabloids are in the magazine racks alongside the checkout counters? I can't believe how many people read that stuff. Sometimes someone will comment on some movie star's drama, as if it's a subject for discussion. I never respond. There are far too many important and real life issues to worry about some movie's star's body size or other physical attributes, or the drama in his/her life.
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A lot of elders get so wrapped up in tv shows that they can't discern Hollywood tv from real life. One of my late Mother's friends was one of these. She said "do not visit now as my soap operas are on and you know they're all true." You may want to check this elder's medications because some meds manifest into hallucinagenic thoughts.
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Oh yes! I came home one day to find a police car in front of my house. I ran in and found my husband (with dementia) talking to an officer. The officer asked me my name and if I was alright. Why? Because my husband was watching a baseball game where a player was hit in the head with a pitch and fell unconscious. Hubby grabbed the phone and called 911. His message was something like " someone was hit in the head, they're on the ground unconscious and I can't find my wife". The officer expected to find me unconscious. We straightened it all out and the officer was very understanding. As the dementia progressed, my husband showed less and less interest in TV. Prior to that, DVDs of The Tonight Show from the 70s and performances of singing groups from the 50's worked very well.
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I went through this with my spouse. Scary for them. I put music on got CD's for Dementia. and the music channel on tv music from their time is good and they enjoy it, Brings back memories for them. I put child controls on the tv. I hope this helps.
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Bwahaha! Joanne "locale on the eights"! The soundtrack of my very own "Days of our lives" lol!
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The nursing home my MIL is in has a big tv in the main common area. The were showing very loud violent movies a lot. We complained about it in a care team meeting and they toned it down and started showing TV Land which shows mostly things like Andy Griffith. A nice change. We think my MIL was picking up things from some of the shows and thought they were real. She said there were people outside her window at night planning who they were going to kill. Said they killed one person from the NH every night. Said they killed her roommate and took her out the window! Then called my husband and told him they accused her of killing the lady and the police were coming to get her. This went on for several weeks until they got her medication worked out. She still has the crazy delusions, though. She thinks there is a tv show about her and they show it at the NH. She says she has been elected as all kinds of things. Told everyone that she was chosen as the number one woman in the United States. Says the other residents don't like her because she is famous! Really strange. She is 98 years old, but she says they also elected her "Miss Lovely." I guess that is like Miss America. It is a new story every day.
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BootShopGirl, I can identify with the weather channel thing! My mom passed away 2 years ago, but for the 8 years that my 2 sisters and I took care of her in her home, she wanted to watch the weather channel all the time! She was hard of hearing, wouldn't wear a hearing aid and would turn the tv SO loud. I refused to stay in the room with her. The "Local on the Eights" music drove me nuts. Haven't watched the weather channel since she died!
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My Mother-in-law, who was 94 at the time, came to stay with me and my husband for a while until we could find an AL place that would take her. She had Alzheimers, and as such, had deterriorated to Level 6, while still living with inly her sister, who was only 90! She paced the floor roughly 22 hours per day (literally) wouldn't use the restroom in the restroom, and then one day, ran into our living room when my husband came in from the grocery store. She proceded to tell him I was having an affair with not one, but two men, and if he would accompany us to the den, she'd show him... My sister and I had been watching a DVD with her in the den, and to our surprise, she pointed to my big screen TV, and proceded to try to climb inside it. She insisted that those two men come back inside my house, instead of standing outside my "window" (my TV). She accused me of having an affair with The late Rock Hudson and Tony Randall, who were in the Doris Day movie we were watching!

She later told me, while we were visiting the Assisted Living Place where we eventually put her, that they had poisoned her Iced Tea, and she would NOT drink it! Then, the same day, she attempted to stir her cup of ice cream at the AL place with their stapler, which she stole from their front desk, and insisted on stirring her ice cream with it! She was upset when I took the stapler from her, because she was attempting to use it as a spoon. Within ten minutes of that incident, she told the head of their nursing staff, that she was sorry she couldn't drive back home by herself, as she had not driven her car that day! (thank God we hid her keys!)
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Having spoken to a friend who reminded me of this issue, I felt I should say that they discovered through this experience, they needed to be extremely careful about what they allowed their mum to watch/see and to also reiterate it is not unusual. I'm so sorry for your distress and hope that with monitoring of the tv programmes she watches, she'll become less anxious. The journey you're on is challenging like mine is, and thoroughly disheartening, every day, believe me, I know.
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Delusions and dementia go together like peanut butter and jelly. Lewy Body dementia in particular - my mother 'saw' or 'heard' people who weren't there, and her doctors and neurologist said it was common. There are medications that can help a litttle. Do not pay ANY attention to wild accusations here that they are 'mentally ill' and have to go into an asylum....the brains are shutting down and all kinds of things will happen. If they are mentally ill to begin with, it could get worse, but delusions involving tv, radio, magazines, etc. are common and mostly you smile and nod.
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Hmmmmmmm............. Not from what I noticed of my foster dad who had dementia so this one is way out there! I would be getting her baker acted and involuntarily committed for mental evaluation. I personally would get her checked psychologically for a very serious mental evaluation because in my honest opinion I think there's something more going on underneath besides just dementia. I personally would get her mentally evaluated, time for the psych ward! It's one thing to have dementia but another to be delusional, and it sounds to me more like delusions. My foster dad had dementia and I was around him for quite a while as it developed and not once did he display this kind of behavior you're describing. After observing my foster dad, I must say no on this one because this one is definitely way out there in left field
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I'll find the TV on all kinds of weird programs (paid announcements) because my father has trouble remembering how to use the remote. We periodically just switch it to Me/TV (Andy Griffith), baseball or the Golf Channel. The news can be scary to him; he develops anxiety for the rest of us when something bad happens to someone in another city, state, or country.
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We had to remove the tv in mom's room - she had the remote so mixed up it took professionals to get it to work [several times] - she couldn't follow a whole show - lounge tv is monitored by staff - old movies, old tv shows etc so nothing to make her anxious -

She also gets out of her room more & mingles with other people more so ended up win/win - it wasn't working so I said that I was taking it to be repaired but never brought it back & she has never asked for it either
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Very common. Also if my mom looks at a magazine, she will ask who this person or that person is, like she is looking at a photo album. When her sister was in a unit, they had videos of like Lawrence Welk. They love those types of shows, or game shows like mentioned above. Old westerns are great as well. Best of everything. My mom does not get too interested in tv like she used to. I have been putting on Hallmark movies but she does not get into them at this point either. Best of luck... God Bless.
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My FIL often thought he was part of the news. Once he was convinced the police were coming to get him because he had abducted a baby. He had heard the TV news story. After that, MIL limited his TV watching to basketball games and the oldies shows.
After a time, he lost interest in TV--He can't follow the story lines and doesn't even care about his beloved basketball.
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We first figured out that my grandmother was declining into dementia years ago when she began telling us about the nice black family who had moved in across the alley from her house. The dad was a doctor and mom was a lawyer, they had all these cute kids...the real tipoff was when they began visiting her through an underground tunnel.

More recently, my husband and I were staying with my mom and she was very tired one morning. She said she had stayed up most of the night watching a very long movie about this couple who was getting married and there was lots of fighting, but it just kept going on and on and she was waiting for it to be over. Turned out she had accidentally binge-watched the reality show "My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding".

Like some of the other posters have stated here, technology and remotes began to get the better of her. We found a simple flat screen tv with an integrated DVD player for her AL suite. All she had to do was drop a disc into the player and it would start up. She has a pretty good disc collection (she's always preferred newer romantic comedies) and I was about to get her more for variety, when I realized that she wasn't even remembering her favorite movies anymore (especially "The Holiday"), and every time she watched them it was like seeing them for the first time! But also like some others have stated here, I don't think she even thinks about the tv anymore. When I go to visit her now, it's unplugged (along with the lamp) and the cord is neatly coiled.
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My mother would get so anxious from watching some TV shows. She was a big fan of "Maid of Honor," nice light, romantic comedy. The setting ended up providing the fodder for a 2-week-long hallucination that took my mother to England to plan weddings. Findthehumor, my mother helped me find some humor. Pre-dementia, my mother was afraid to fly, never left the country, and never had a passport. During her second hallucinatory trip home, she met a man on the plane named Walter, whose English was impeccable, although he was born in Germany. Walter invited mom home to meet his hallucinatory parents. I was so grateful for my mother's hallucinations; they gave her a sense of agency, of ability. The reality was that she was bed-bound. Having the right show or movie was a help in countless ways. Holly Charbo, thanks for the Alzheimer's Store recommendation. I had no idea!
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My mom used to love daytime game shows. There is a cable channel for them. Be careful with animal planet. There are a few shows that may upset her.
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Mom has mid-stage dementia and lives in Mayberry on The Andy Griffith Show she reprimands the characters yells at them laughs with them literally lives in the show but as long as she's happy I'm happy I've tried other shows Golden Girls she used to love it Matlock she used to love it Heat of the Night but nothing seems to make her happier then The Andy Griffith Show
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My mother lives in Mayberry her and her dementia very common she won't watch anything else I bought Golden Girls DVD I bought Columbo DVDs I bought Heat of the Night DVDs all the shows she used to love but the only one she watches is The Andy Griffith Show thank God for DVDs because she hates the commercials Lol
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My mother loved reality shows, 'real housewives', the Kartrashians (she loved/hated them), entertainment reporting shows, gossip shows, and any hair and makeup makeovers. She had Lewy Body dementia and I began getting calls at home any time of the day or night complaining 'those people' were asleep in her back bedroom! What people? The Kardashians, they had a kid who was 'running up and down the hall' all night! Mom said she didn't know where they went during the day or how they were getting around but if there was a car parked on the street outside, it probably belonged to them. Joan Rivers and Ryan Seacrest and so on were also 'sleeping in the back bedroom' at times. I never knew from day to day who would be dropping by! Well, as she declined, as time went on, her part-time caregiver put on game shows and the animal shows instead, and mom kind of stopped watching tv altogether.    (After she went into a nursing home, I found 4 tvs in her house I had to dispose of, and one humongous tv in the basement with a cable box.   ??   I looked and looked and LOOKED for that old fashioned cable box, it was hidden in a closet.  I took it to the cable company to turn it in so they could close the account, and it was such an antique relic they were all laughing at it!  whew, the things that happened!)
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I have my Mom watch mostly Animal Planet, Food Network, Create TV, and shows on the Weather Channel. She says Michael Symon on the Food Network used to be her mailman. She said Steven Raichlen on Create TV invited her to his house for dinner.
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Hi there, I, too, thought my mom’s stories were much like a Law and Order show we had just watched. This happened with even the events that I would talk about with what’s new with my own family. She would then tell of what  she or her friend / deceased family member did .... essentially the same thing in her own words.  
It is very hard for someone with dementia to follow story lines of some shows, so now she watches Family Feud and a the Christmas Movies on the Hallmark channel and is so amused.
It’s completely normal. It gets more interesting as dementia progresses and I found I had to immerse myself into her world as if I were entertaining a young girl. It works. My mom gets all the family names wrong and obviously forgets who is who but somehow they end up in some of her stories. I just smile and hold back the tears. And when it’s starts getting really hard or emotional, I stop her, and throw in some complements to change the course of conversation.
Hope this helps.
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Yes, same problem with my mother-in-law with her Dementia. She feared what she watched even if it wasn't a violent show, so it often caused anxiety for her. We drastically reduced her tv time by replacing it with Pandora through Internet tv.

Since she no longer understood how to operate the remote control, that was also a time saver for us to turn Pandora on for her as it would play for hours - less channel changing. We played 'Spa Radio' instrumental music from Pandora, which she loved. Thereafter, most of the time she didn't miss the tv shows or movies. :-)

She passed away over a year ago now. Miss her dearly, and sometimes when I listen to the 'Spa Radio' station on Pandora, it brings good memories of her. So in the future the good memories of your loved one listening to music, could also help you when grieving your loss. :-(
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My mom is pretty deaf and can't see well, but we finally have the tv set up so that she can hear it without blasting us out of the house. We watch Nature, Finding your Roots, As Time Goes By, and Antique Road Show. Mom also listens to audiobooks on an old iPad. We really like the Nature program about the otters. In the evening, I'll sit next to her. Occasionally I'll pull out her earbud and talk a little about the show. If I wait until the end, she's already forgotten what she's been watching!
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In the big TV room where mom spends a lot of her time with others like her, they have the Me TV channel on - Love Boat, Andy Griffith, like Antenna TV, apparently. If there's a special or some game on, they will turn to that channel. Mom could care less at this point. I know they play special videos on Saturday afternoons. I'll check into that Animal Planet thing, sounds like a winner.
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