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[off topic, sorry] - does anyone remember where on the forum the list of abbreviations and acronyms is? - only the problem's come up again and I can't remember. Long day!
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Sorry, I don’t remember either. Can you do a search? Someone will know and fill you in.
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DiamondAngel, if your grandparents leave you a legacy by will you ARE entitled to it. Literally so. It's the law.

But I think it's even simpler than that - at bottom, the OP just wants to know what happened. There could be a good explanation that would set her mind at rest, or there could be a lousy explanation that she'd feel aggrieved about and then gradually get over; but not knowing why her mother didn't comply with her grandparents' instructions must be torment.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Very well said. I more or less said the same thing earlier.
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I'm going to guess here that when the grandparents passed away, they had neither a car or $ 2,000. Unless the will was executed just before they died, those bequests were wishes, probably not based on actual facts at the time of their death. Their wills would have been presented to the probate court and their assets would have been listed to the court. Wills written years before death can contain all kinds of wishful thinking. That's why people are advise to review and update wills periodically.

Any elder I knew did not have an automobile at the time of death. As they aged and developed medical issues, they had all ceased driving and gave up/sold their vehicles. As for $ 2,000, if any money was used up for their care, bills due at the time of their deaths and funeral arrangements ($ 2,000 doesn't go far,) there was no money to distribute to the letter writer. I'd bet that this is the situation.
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PussJr Feb 2020
Amen
Brother/ Sister
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I had responded earlier suggesting that maybe your mom had to use the money for the care of your grandparents, but I see that you responded and said everyone else got their inheritance except you.  I am sorry your mom made that decision.  Even if you were a troubled teen going through something and not making good decisions in your youth, your mom could have chosen to put the money aside for you in some sort of account to give to you later when you grew up a bit and had your feet on the ground.  That would have been the kinder thing to do.  I hope you are able to forgive her and move on.  I know it hurts and I am not trying to make light of that, but what else is there to do?  It will only rob you of peace to keep any resentment towards her.
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Sadexecutor Feb 2020
She she actually turned around and did the same thing to my daughter, her granddaughter. My daughter always did very well in school. my mother told me that she set aside a college account for my daughter. After she graduated she met a man and got pregnant. My mother had always told me she had put away $10,000 for my daughter's College education. When she found out my daughter was pregnant she took it away from her and spend it on herself.
The good thing is, is that my mother also raised a strong woman and I pass that strength on to my daughter. My daughter got a government grant and finished school all on our own.
My mother is not the same person now that she has dementia. She seems to have lost that evil side. I guess because her brain doesn't function like it normally would.
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I still think the Probate Office records will reflect exactly what happened because I had to account for everything to them. My Dad had a truck and I was instructed to go to DMV and put the truck in my name and then sell it, then put the money from the sale of the truck into the estate account. So, the $$$ from the sale of it was dissolved into that pool of money. However, had my Dad left that truck to me personally in the Will, it would have been a different issue. You were a minor so your Mom must have manipulated something somehow. What you said about your Mom being a thief (underhanded) due to things you discovered in her room gives a clue to the answers you are seeking. You will just have to learn to put it past you unless you want to do the leg work in checking out probate records. There may be some things you don’t know about their debts and finances.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
That’s exactly the problem. A parent can manipulate if the child is a minor. So sad.

Look at the children of long ago who were cheated in the film industry by their parents and managers. It’s stealing, plain and simple.

I know a young man who inherited money from his grandma and his mom told him that she was “borrowing some money” from his inheritance. She never paid him back. He was 17.

He had enough left to buy a car later but his mom took the money his grandma left for his college education. He had to work to pay for his own education.
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