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My husband’s Alzheimer’s took a turn for the worse about six weeks ago. One day he seemed OK and stable and the next hard time walking , combative and just not the same. He was able to walk, take a shower and communicate somewhat the day before. He just changed suddenly.



His doctor said to get him to the emergency immediately for tests of stroke, but there was no stroke no infections, no seizures he was released from the hospital after 4 days. I now have him in a memory care facility close to our home. He does have physical therapy come twice a week. It is a fairly nice facility, and he is cared for. The food doesn’t seem that great.



Now he seems continent but unable to do much for himself. I feel very guilty leaving him there. I am old myself, and not sure of taking him home even if I get around the clock care would be the right move. He doesn’t seem unhappy at the facility, but there is a sadness there. Has anyone taken their loved one home for a few hours during the day and brought them back to the facility at dinner time not sure that would help or confuse him. Help at 75.

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Why did you make the very difficult decision to place him in Memory Care?
Have ANY of those factors changed for the BETTER?
Is he going to be safer at home?

The fact that he is content where he is makes it so much easier for both of you.
At this point he is not asking to go home.

You are not your "old self" again.
You are a loving wife that has a spouse in Memory Care. You are now going to have to manage his care. You are going to have to make sure that he is taken care of. But you can be his WIFE again. Not the person changing his soiled briefs, PJ's and bed clothes. When you visit you can take a walk with him, sit and have a lunch, watch a movie, whatever he wants to do. Hold his hand and just be.
You will be lost for a while. This change is harder on you then on him.

The "sadness" that you see in him may not be sadness but with dementia emotions are lost and this is Apathy. The emotions of joy, sadness, love are very much diminished if not lost all together.
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geddyupgo Sep 2023
Well said and so very true!
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That has been debated for years on this site.

I, personally, would not bring him back home for any reason. Every time you have to 'return' him back to the NH, it will bring back all the sad feelings-and since you say he seems content--why not let it be?

You BOTH need to adapt, so take time to do so.

Don't let GUILT rule your thoughts and actions. What you are really feeling is GRIEF that is totally normal and to be expected. You're going to be OK.

((Hugs))
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Don't confuse the grief you are feeling with guilt, it's perfectly normal to grieve the loss of the life you had together. His continuing decline is inevitable at this point and I think going back is only wishful thinking, instead focus on ways you can enhance his life (and yours too) within this new reality.
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He needs to be where he is. You know that. It sounds like you did everything you could until it was just no longer physically possible. You have done right by him.

Do not take him home for a few hours. Do not take him home at all. Routine is SO important for people with dementia/alz. Taking him during the day would make YOU feel better, but would make him worse. You love him too much to do that.

My mom-in-law had to place her mom in assisted living. It was a nice place, very clean and caring staff. But my MIL felt guilty, as is to be expected. So she would take her mother to lunch or drive around for a bit. It soon backfired. Her mother would panic that “the hotel” wouldn’t let her back inside, that they’d been out of town, thought they were moving away. When she took her back to the AL, she was disoriented. Couldn’t remember where her bathroom was, took clothes out of her drawers because she was ‘unpacking’. In her mind, she’d been gone two weeks, not two hours. They don’t process time normally anymore.

This is a huge adjustment for both of you. It takes time. He will acclimate and so will you.

You love him enough to make sure he gets the 24/7 care he needs. What would be wrong is insisting you can still do it all— at the expense of both of your lives.
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Of course, this is extremely emotional for you. Please have peace knowing that you made the best decision for your husband and yourself.

Don’t second guess yourself. Stand by the choice that you made. Flip flopping isn’t the solution for the questions that you have about what is best for your husband.

It’s obvious how much you care about your husband. Give yourself time to adjust. He is where he needs to be.
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Don't do it, he needs to acclimate himself to his new home.

Guilt is a self-imposed emotion that will do nothing but keep you stuck. You did the best you could, accept the reality of the situation.

He is where he needs to be.
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IMHO going back and forth on this would be disasterous. You didn't place your husband on a whim. And adjustment is a two way street here; you both need time to do it. This is only going to escalate, his needs for care. You have him in a good facility. Please rethink this. Get help to face the emotional wringer of all this if you need to, but do not "take this back". I think you recognize that this needs to be done. You didn't cause your husband's condition; you can't fix it. Guilt is out of the question. Guilt infers responsibility and causation. You are grieving and that's the appropriate G-word for now.

I am so sorry, but don't go back on this. Give yourself a time frame of three months and then reassess your feelings, his adjustment, and the known future coming.
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I'm so sorry you're going through this! I believe it's the right thing to do for you both - It can be dangerous not only for him but for you as well. You can visit him each day if you'd like or take a few days off to rest. You've made the best decision in a very difficult situation. I wish you so much peace! Take care.
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Yes I have seen day leave work very well - but it really depends on the people involved.

Despite whatever ailments the resident has, the caregiver must be able to manage at home for the day/weekend solo - inclinding;
- mobility
- toileting
- behaviour
PLUS if they both are OK to return to the facility without causing distress.

Day/weekend leave was suggested to me for my LO (in respite care). When I explained the tears & tantrums beforehand & also on arrival, the stubborness & upset the Head RN said "I see. No home visits then. Would be too distressing to everyone".

I suppose you could try it once or twice as a trial? Ensure you have a plan to for transport back if it doesn't work out.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Can't blame LO you can't replace seeing/feeling the breeze of the season, the birds chirping, the smell of rain just fallen, as an example and what many people don't appreciate.
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Dear Mags4C,
I agree with others that taking him home is not a good idea. Maybe, you could bring a special lunch to him twice a week. It could be a "date". Fix or buy some of his favorite foods.
Best wishes.
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It would be much better to let him stay right where he is, especially if he is content and comfortable. Your inclination to bring him home is to calm your own unnecessary guilt about having found him a place where he can be cared for.

Especially with Alzheimer's, his care needs are going to quickly exceed your ability to meet them. Trying to manage him at home will only add desperation and exhaustion and could easily become unsafe for both of you.

If you can visit without carrying the burden of indecision and doubt, enjoy the visit, take him some food if there is something special he would like, kiss him "goodbye" and say "See you tomorrow" as though it's the most normal situation in the world.

You will be doing a kindness for both of you.
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AliOJ58 Sep 2023
Nicely said
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Use this time to take a deep breath, relax and prepare for the change in your position as a care giver. The facility is your team and you are the coordinator of your husband's changing needs. Your skills are needed in this new capacity and the grief that you feel can cloud your judgment. If you second guess your decision you will lose focus on the goal: 24/7 safety for him and a chance for you to take the steps to preserve your mental and physical health.
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You might satisfy your guilt by just visiting him a little longer
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Believe me my heart goes out to you. My situation was similar about 5 months ago. I had taken care of my husband for 11 yrs with early onset ALZ and all of a sudden he started collapsing and unable to feed himself. He still walks around good but safety was a big issue.. he is strong and did start pushing and still does that off and on at the facility. It has been 5 months and we will be in holidays soon and of course I want to bring him home but I am sure that is not a good thing.
I hired an extra caregiver and she is great even though I will go broke in a couple of years. My husband has never ask to come home and maybe you will have that same level of comfort. Yesterday my husband seemed sad and of course that makes me sad. Prayers are with you.
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I know this is a shock for you and I am sure you miss having your husband by your side. The two of you living apart will be an adjustment for both of you and it is heartbreaking. But he will only worsen. Dementia only goes one direction. You will be a better wife to him / more help to him if you are well rested and not physically and mentally drained. You have placed him in a nice place and he is getting care 24/7. You have done the right thing. I agree that taking him out of the facility can be stressful and confusing to him. As the dementia progresses, their world gets smaller and smaller. They don't like change. That doesn't mean you can't bring him his favorite meal every once in a while or sit in the courtyard with him on a nice day, etc.

I don't suggest bringing him back home out of guilt. Stay strong.
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What is his favorite meal that you cooked when he was at home? Take him that food at a mealtime. Stay with him for awhile. That is what is best for people with dementia. We know from my BIL taking him out and bringing him back really messes him up to the point where they have to sedate him. Then they would have to do it for a couple of days after that. My BIL is in a memory care NH. When they would take him out for appts it still messed him up. He would try to follow you out of the place and try to get out of the place.

Don't feel guilty you have him in the right place believe me.

Prayers
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
😆 Was the BIL ever successful?
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I agree with many others…don’t let guilt have you make a bad decision in bringing him home. You will regret it and eventually need to place him again starting all over again.

Of course you feel sadness and the facility he’s in seems sad. You now live apart and that’s hard.

Just know that he is safe and well cared for in ways you can’t do. But what you can do is visit and spend time being his loving companion rather than be a nurse, therapist, nutritionist, Dr, counselor, chambermaid, cook, entertainer and whatever else you had to do. Take this time for yourself to keep yourself healthy so you can spend some time with him as a loving couple.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
First sentence of your third paragraph, hopefully.
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I can relate to you fully. My dear husband is in a NH. He has Alzheimers/dementia and has also made a turn for the worse!! Last night he tried to get his roommate out of bed and got extremely combative with the aid!! They are going to call his doctor to make a change in his meds but I am concerned that he will continue to get worse. Don''t feel guilty, you can't change what his brain is doing. He is taken care of and that is important. I am 87 and had to put my husband in the NH a year ago. We can't care for them at home. Pray for both of us and our husbands.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Night time can be interesting time.
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My aunt who is in her 90's now noticed the same thing. She said their eyes look dead. They loose all hope and the staff often drug them to put them in a more sedated state. This is a horrible way to spend the last years of your life.

You can take them out to come home and visit. Especially for holidays and special events. Don't leave them in there all the time.

In fact if you can, please look at bringing him back home and getting some in-home care for him if you need help. There are programs out there to help with in-home care too.

My aunt has stated she wants to stay in her home and NEVER go into a nursing home. I agree with her 100%. Dumping someone into these places is like a death sentence. Far better to be with the ones you love. That is how it used to be when I was young. I'd rather be home with the people who truly care about me. Not people who don't care about you and drug you, sometimes even abuse and neglect you.
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Midkid58 Sep 2023
Family--

I know your heart is in the right place, but I think that this answer is just going to make the OP feel worse.

In a perfect world, our elders would age gracefully and beautifully. Having them at home would be an addition to our families...but

so many of us are dealing with elders who desire to 'age at home' and many, many lives are required to shore up that 'fantasy'.

Many of us have elders who are angry, demanding and ungrateful. My DH carries incredible guilt around with him b/c he HAS to care for his mother in her home and he hates every single second of it. It's going into month 9 of constant, unrelenting care. He's exhausted/ I'm exhausted b/c I worry about him so much.

My MIL THINKS she is living independently, when nothing could be further from the truth. MANY lives have been put on hold so she can pretend to be independent.

And the staff of any NH cannot 'sedate' someone into oblivion--this all has to be done through a Drs' oversight.

Often an elderly person is combative and physically assaultive. There's no joy in living with someone who is as likely to punch you in the face as they are to give you a hug.

I respect your big heart--but keeping LO's at home is often simply...impossible. And it's not always the best thing for ANYBODY in those cases.
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<<(((((((((HUGS)))))))))
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The guilt is normal when you place
loved one … it means you’re a good person and you love your husband.
You need to make decisions for both of you now… and you’ve got to consider the safest and best care for both of you.
you should visit every day or as often as you can … take him on outings .. mall … parks…ice cream … lunch…
haircut … pedicure … whatever… bring home favourite foods and eat
together. Spend time with him participate in group activity… etc etc
that sad look is not really sad but blank stare caused by dementia .
and the guilt is something we all live with but know you’re still looking after him by providing probably better care and safety…. For both of you .
best
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I am going to offer you an argument that is different than most of the posts here. I think you should bring him home, if you can.

I was in the same position that you are in. My husband exhibited the same behaviors which could change in a matter of minutes. It was shocking, hurtful, disrespectful, frustrating, and sad. I took my husband to a memory care and put him on Seroquel. After 2 months, all symptoms disappeared - along with $30,000 to memory care facility. I was again shocked, hurt, frustrated, and sad that the healthcare system in the US was so crappy. You are covered by Medicaid if you are poor, and you are covered if you are rich with deep pockets. But the middle class is screwed. So I took my husband home after 2 months and set up caregivers to be with him when I am at work. It’s been wonderful and a lot cheaper too. He’s getting 1-on-1 care by the caregivers, in his familiar surroundings, not abused or neglected, and best of all, I get to decide how he should be cared for. Your decisions are hindered by the facility’s rules and policies when your husband is in a facility. There’s only so much you can say how your husband should be cared at a facility.

I vote for setting up a care system in place and bringing him home. You will eat better, sleep better, and carry on without regrets or worries.

Best of luck.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Well said!! Good for both of you!!
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I know exactly how you feel. I am experiencing the same things. I know it is not possible for him to ever come home but I can’t tell him that. Yes, others who have posted regarding this issue stated that we are grieving the life we are in the process of losing. The sad thing is that it will never get better, just worse, and eventually end. Please know that you are not alone. The main thing is for your husband to be safe and cared for by professionals. The mood swings are the worst. I keep telling myself that it is the disease talking, not my husband. I feel your pain.
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You are experiencing grief associated with your husband's illness and completely appropriate facility placement. Grief causes regrets even when decisions are appropriate for the parents safety and well being.
Get yourself emotional, spiritual grief support to further assist you with your own self care during this life change .
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djenning6msncom Sep 2023
Definitely! Caregivers do so much, then get blamed by others and blame themselves.
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Does Memory Care have an Activities Director?
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I found that what helps is visiting every day.

The way I sold MC to my Mom was....I'm still going to be with you for all your doctor's visits and I'll take you on errands and go do things. However, I no longer will have to find caregivers to take care of you nightly.

So, I would suggest exactly what you are thinking of doing. Take your loved one out, go out to lunch, or breakfast, or.... If there is room for a table in the room, bring food with you and eat together especially since food is usually the highlight of their day.

There is only one golden rule....make it a repeatable routine. While people are in MC, they lose track of time and repeatable routine makes one feel more in control. So decide what you want to do, then do it.

In addition, I would try to see if there are any scheduled activities. I know that my Mom loves the weekly van rides. So, I purposely do not schedule going to see her close to that activity so that she can go on those rides. The MC posts a monthly calendar and sticks pretty close to it.

You can do this! Use the time you are away from him as a time to refresh, be perky and alert, with a optimistic attitude when you go and see him.
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It is understandable that you feel guilty or uneasy about this major life transition / decision.

You miss him.

You love him.

Dementia / the brain changing is often un predicable. One day they seem okay, the next minute, hour or day, no.

Try to keep yourself busy / occupied more when at home alone as this is such a change for you. Do what brings you moments of diversion / enjoyment so your mind can focus on other things. This is NOT to avoid thinking of him, it is to support YOU to feel better about you in all ways, psychological emotional physical.

With time you will adjust.
From what I've heard, it is 'best' to let the person adjust to their new surroundings (so I wouldn't personally take him home). It might confuse him or he may think he is 'home' for good ... or he may wonder "where am I?"

Ask the facility for support / suggestions. Most / some will tell you NOT to visit for 2-3-4 weeks. You need to do what you feel is best for both of you, although think of him first. Perhaps bring dinner to his room.

Remind yourself - often - that you made this decision to place him out of love and for his well being and safety. You are 75 and need to take care of yourself. And, do cry, journal/write - whatever helps you process through. Write us here often. We are here for you.

Gena / Touch Matters. P.S. With my companion/friend of 20+ years, I visited him 3-4 (sometimes perhaps 5) times a week in a nursing home. I arranged for socialization / volunteers to fill in most of the other days. I always took him his favorite foods at dinner time (so he could eat good food that he liked). I was exhausted for two years ... although I kept going. I also managed all his legal affairs (as, of course, you are doing). I couldn't kiss him enough when visiting nor take enough photos. I made the most of those days / years. He knew he was loved. And, that is enough for me - to remember him over these past six months since he departed.
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I don't think bringing him home is a good idea. It's better that he acclimate at his new home and adjust to being there. Taking him home, messes up the adjustment.
It's one thing for instance, if a person is mentally healthy and living in assisted living and likes the place. They can go visit their previous residence and come back to their new residence without a problem.

But with dementia, people get distressed easily, especially as it advances. Taking him home, will cause unnecessary distress when taking him back to the facility. And even at home, he'll still have the same mental symptoms.

It's better to bring things from home to him so he feels at home
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My mom gas memory issues tho not Alzheimers. She is in an ALF and I bring her to my house every weekend for the afternoon. Then back to facility for bed. It is working grest for us. Sometimes when I bring her back she says she feels like crying. I remind her she’s been there 9 months and has been content there. It is great to take her out but not have the 24 hr care.
You did the right thing for his safety and yours. If taking him out does not seem to work, visit him there often so you feel better about it. I’m guessing he is not as sad as he looks.💕
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CaregiverL Sep 2023
My opinion is to take her out to lunch ..anywhere but your house. One day she will have severe temper tantrum & won’t want to leave & if you call 911 then they’ll site “patient rights!” Hugs 🤗
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Mags4c: Bringing him home for a few hours and then taking him back to the memory care facility would be a recipe for disaster unfortunately. As much as you miss him, you've done a good job in placing him in the facility. He needs a constant and he has it there.
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anonymous1732518 Sep 2023
Yes the constant is bringing him home to stay.

I'm beginning to understand why there is sometimes violence in these homes
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