My brother is a diagnosed psychotic with anxiety and bouts of depression. He also suffers from Retinitis Pigmentosa, bronchitis asleep, apnea and seizures. His wife died in 2003 and he has been alone since. He has three siblings including me, but the other two have long since abandoned him, since he blames us for all his problems, although, at one time we all were trying to help him. I understand how they feel but I can't find it in me to abandon him.
The problem I have is that I am retired and my wife and I live on her income and my SS check. This does not afford us much money to spare. He on the other hand lives fairly decent on his SS Disability and small pension check but needs me to help manage his finances, take care of scheduling his medical and banking obligations, transportation to shopping, to and from doctors etc. His seizures have caused him to have to be hospitalized from time to time and have left him fairly weak and unstable
He also receives benefits through his SS disability that include someone to clean cook and do laundry, he receives meals on wheels, and has just been informed he will be getting physical and occupational therapy and a visiting nurse. I know it may seem petty but I cannot really afford all the things he needs me to do. I actually have been thinking about getting a job to help my wife and but I am afraid that would not allow me the time to maintain the things I do for him.
Therefore I was wondering if someone knows if I might qualify for some type of compensation to offset my expenses so that I can keep helping him.
I don't see where setting up appts and doing his banking costs you anything but time. I do all my nephews banking online.
You have to be upfront with brother and tell him you can't afford to do it all anymore. With my nephew I think of it like this, what will happen to him if I die? With that in mind, I have set him up with what he needs the best I can. I also realize that eventually the State will need to take over his care. There is no one but me.
Actually, you are one of the lucky ones. Seems brother has been able to use some of the resources out there.
How long have you been in this situation? How does your wife feel about it? How much time do you spend on your brother?
I hope that you know that you are not the cause of any of his mental or physical issues. I understand that you have compassion for him but you are struggling financially due to caring for him.
Is he appreciative at all? He blames his siblings? Why? The other siblings abandoned him? Sounds like he chased them off with unreasonable behavior.
Can you speak to his social worker see if he has options to receive additional assistance? I know someone who was approved to pay a caregiver. He has severe autism and mental illness as well. It may be through Easter Seals or a similar program. A social worker could let you know if that is even applicable in your brother’s situation. It may not be but it is certainly worth checking into.
After arrangements have been made for his future, start living life for you and your wife. You both deserve to be happy and start planning for your own futures.
Best wishes to you and your wife.