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Desertgrl, my only question to you is would You feel better if you got to see him one more time? Regardless of the afterlife, I’m talking about in this life, which you have many more years left to live. Would you regret not seeing him, or holding his hand, or making your peace in person? Do you think you’d feel differently in 5 years? 20 years? If not, then you probably have done your grieving, and a personal visit probably wouldn’t be beneficial.

But if you think you might regret it, then you can make a visit happen. Make meals in advance and freeze them. Have helpful son microwave them. Hire a housekeeper/friend/neighbor to come in a few hours a day to help granny and the family. What would your husband and son do if You were in the hospital or out of commission for a week? Would they survive? Yes. So what would it take to prepare for a planned absense? It can be done.
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I too wonder why you cannot leave your healthy active family for a week or two? Something seems off there. When my children were 5 and 7 I went to New Zealand for 10 days to visit my Dad. No hens, but cats and a dog to look after, as well as all the children’s needs.

If there is an afterlife as you believe, why wouldn’t your father be there waiting for you?
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JoAnn29 Jan 2019
She is a Christian who believes in Salvation. Seems Dad is an atheist. Unless he has been saved, he will not go to heaven.
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DesertGrl, I'm puzzled.

I was at first thinking "easy! Put your Head Hen in charge! - that'll keep everyone in order."

But to be more practical... I would have thought, myself, that a combination of a hard-working adult man, an active though elderly lady, and a pleasant, helpfully-minded young man could keep a household such as you describe ticking over quite safely for a week, or even two. There are no babies, sick persons, or persons suffering from dementia in the case. They would cope.

So although I'm sure you are the lynch pin of the household and they would not want you to be absent too long, it doesn't seem like a strong enough reason to keep you from seeing your father, who is so much in your thoughts.

I hesitate, because if you'd wanted to go into this more deeply you'd have done so. But I think there must be more to it than that you can't get away from running the household for a few days.

I'm going to leave that there.

As an alternative, guessing that there are things you want to say to your father, what about writing him a letter? Not to send to him, but to get your thoughts out.
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Desert- Your story brought tears to my eyes. My heart goes out to you sincerely. I am truly sorry for your situation. I will definitely being praying for you and for your Dad that the Lord would somehow prick his heart. I am so sad for you. It is hard grieving the loss of our loved ones and i believe you have begun to do that. I lost my Dad a few years ago and its hard. But I do have the hope to see him again. And I want you to have that as well, so I will be praying for you.
Hang in there. You are right as long as there is breath there is hope. Keep praying.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Shmesque, I appreciate that!
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Desertgirl, Keep praying for your dad's salvation; I'll join you, and you get some others to pray, too. My 92 yr old aunt, who my mom and I've been praying for for years, called mom last week, asked how to meet Jesus, and mom got to lead her in the sinner's prayer - it's never too late! Not only that, but I was able to lead an Alz patient to the Lord when she came lucid for a few minutes and we talked. I explained salvation to her, asked her if she had ever accepted the Lord, and when she said no, asked if she wanted to. She said yes, she would, and prayed the repentance and acceptance of Jesus as Lord willingly right then. We got to talk a little bit, then she was gone again - wherever Alz victims go.... but God proved to me that day and last week, that it's NEVER too late, as long as someone breathes.....
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you so much for this beautiful testimony! It's my prayer and hope that someone like you or your mom will be led to my Dad and share the good news of God's love to him and lead him to the Savior. Bless you for sharing this with me, it really helped.
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