Mom is 78, has no idea who her only two children are and believes she has been put in prison against her will. She has been "living" in the memory care center of a very upscale assisted living facility since 2008. The doctor has prescribed zetia and lipitor for her. I just don't get it. What is the point of keeping her body healthy while her brain turns to mush? I'm only interested in the legal ramifications. Maybe I'm demented, but I don't have a problem with her dying of a heart attack. My mom loved to "live" life. She is miserable. I have already informed all of my loved ones, not to keep administering body saving meds to me if my fate is the same as my mother's.
It is awful to have a person with dementia/Alz and
I have heard this question posed so many times,
about cancer, etc, but with dementia Alz,
you do not necessarily know when the last 6 months are,
but why would you want to have a person with dementia, Alz
with body complications, still have the person live and suffer more???
Lack of Lipitor could produce a heart attack, but lack of any medication or supplements can produce many consequences for which they can still survive and suffer more.
Thank God we can have our own opinions
I am wondering if he was stuck in his mind that there was pain and yelled like someone was killing him. I am a total mess today and it is only 7:00 a.m. I am exhausted, feel like a horrible person for yelling at him but how do you know when you should call 911 and there is a real need. How do you know if there isn't some real problem with the cathetor. Nurse says as long as it is draining in the bag and no major blood, all is ok.
Today is another day so we will see what happens when he wakes up. Going to use my quiet time this morning to get some rest and readjust my attitude. Today is support group for AD but glad I won't be able to go. I'd probably burst into tears when they asked me if I had anything to share.
Thank you for listening, it really helps to write out your feelings and then I will let them go. Today will be a better day and the sun is shining.
in your original post I thought I was reading about a stage 7 Mom, but if your Mother is able to feed & dress herself why has she been in a facility for five years already, did no one want to deal with her in her own or your home where things are familiar to her and not be a prison? My husband is 82 he does not know that I am his wife and always wants to go home ( he is not a wanderer - yet) but he takes his meds, dresses himself, bathes shaves etc, and there are many times he is fun to be with, I would not even consider at this point (stage late 5- early 6) of sending him anywhere but here, I would not write your Mom off just yet, she is unhappy, yes, but even though she doesn't know you always remember you have to live in their world as they cannot live in yours, as long as I keep that thought, he is not a lost cause. He takes quite a few meds, but none that I would stop right now, I would rather deal with how he is now then to add a stroke or some other devastating illness into our lives now. if you Mom is only on a couple of meds as long as she takes them they are not going to change the outcome. Hospice & Doctors know when the time has come for them to step in.
To the person with the question about Namenda and Aricept--those drugs are meant to slow progression for a bit, but often for not such a long term. In the meantime, they are expensive, and may not be doing much to help him, as it sounds like his disease has progressed. You are right, he may very well be around for more years to come. If you have not yet done so, you might consider contacting the Alzheimer's Association to find a local support group for caregivers in your community. That is often a helpful resource for families faced with challenges you describe.
I am not a clinician, just a writer--I hope these ideas are useful to you.
Best,
Janice
She takes medication for her dementia, for high blood pressure and for COPD. There is also a prescription for her thyroid and supplemental potassium. I have long felt that she doesn't need all of these prescriptions. She prays daily for the Lord to take her, but she is in reasonably good health and could probably live for another ten years.
In my opinion, prescribing life prolonging drugs for people who have zero quality of life is downright cruel. I can understand pain relief, but the rest of this stuff seems useless.
BUT if the initial evaluation shows that she would qualify and benefit from hospice, then schedule a care plan meeting at the facility to have a new care plan done for her and within hospice guidelines. Her med's will be for the most part stopped if they would cure a disease or make her uncomfortable as hospice requires that all care be palliative and comfort care. I'd speak with the social worker about arranging the meeting for you. Plan on having other family with you and you all HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE on what you want her care direction to take. A united front with the family being all kum-ba-ya in agreement is mucho importante!! If the medical director of the place refuses to sign off on hospice and the MD of hospice says she is qualified, then you are at an impasse. Realistically if that happens, then you need to find a new facility. The hospice will have a suggestion of places for her to move to, that they work with too,.
The social workers, I've found can be more independent in thought than the medical staff. Most states require that there is a SW on staff and they are licensed and reviewed differently than the nursing staff. So the DON has less influence over the SW. Understand?
Hospice now all has to be done with all the paperwork asap from the SOC date - which is the "initial date of election to hospice". You have to keep the hospice provider for the benefit period (1st & 2nd periods are 90 days, then after that it's 60 days) before you can change providers too. So make sure that they have a system and philosophy that you are comfortable with. Good luck.
Thank you and God Bless you all. Such a nasty disease and so difficult for everyone involved.
If this is a totally private pay facility, they do not have to allow hospice per se. They may have a "palliative care plan" that they do instead. It's really whatever is on the admissions contract and how the medical director and the DON set the orders for her care plan. Most NH have it such that the DON - (director of nursing) is really the god or goddess in the NH and the MD is just a once or twice a week visitor. But this facility may be one where the MD is more in-charge. Good Luck.
Good luck. Many of us know what it is to see our loved ones "live" through years of misery. Few people would choose to linger like that with no hope.
Carol