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-Meditate again when grandma acts up.
-Talk to your doctor about using Trazadone.
-Lavendar fragrance under your pillow.
-CDC tips (https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html)
-https://lavenderbythebay.com/blogs/lavender-by-the-bay/lavender-and-sleep

Perhaps grandma needs to be placed in a care facility that operates 24/7?
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I take 10mg of Ambien and 10mg of melatonin. I don’t take it but Ativan is is good too. I don’t wake up groggy. Warning though, Ativan is addicting if you take it every night. At this stage of your grandmother’s life, it might be better to get her some strong medication to make her sleep. I'm not trying to be mean but when someone is like your grandmother, I wouldn’t worry about her getting addicted to any drugs.
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I haven't read all the responses but if I had to choose between one of two people to medicate for anxiety and/or sleep, it needs to be your grandmother. At 90 and with dementia, addiction or side effects are the least of her problems.

Once there's a solution for her to sleep consistently, then your sleep problem will resolve on its own.
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Keep in mind that any medication that promotes sleep (any of the "PM" OTC products, Benadryl and things like that) can make a person a bit "foggy" in the morning. Generally not a problem but if the person has dementia adding a foggy brain to that can make things even m ore confusing for them. And if they are already on medications check with the doctor or pharmacist before giving.
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So sorry you are having this experience. May I make a few suggestions:
1 - Start by talking with your grandma's doctor. She definitely is having sleep disturbances and needs some medications to help her relax and stay asleep. It would be worth it to have her evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist - preferably geriatric psychiatrist - who can prescribe medications that work well for the older generations.

2 - See a counsellor and/or psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. You are "anticipating" a rough night of broken sleep so you in essence wake up and "wait" for the disturbance. It really is a new sleep habit you have created. So getting Gram to sleep through the night is the start, then creating new habits for yourself to help ease back to sleep. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help you sleep better while you deal with the other issues.
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You mind cannot think of two things at once. To help quiet the mind, instead of music, try a informative podcast that engages the brain and eventually as you relax you will fall asleep. I use the sleep timer on the podcasts.

I'm in favor of the above instead of pills, but pills sometimes are necessary. I also found that once my body begins waking up at the same time every night such as you describe, I take melatonin or a sleep aid (choose your fav, OTC or script) for one night to "reset" my body. But if take them all the time, I have an even harder time falling asleep because now my body seems to have become dependent on them - thus a wean off period and one or two sleepless nights are guaranteed.

Finally - being Catholic, in order to occupy my mind back to the - can't think of two things at once - I recite the rosary prayers until I fall asleep.

I'm not sure any of this helps. But prayers!
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Can really relate. Besides ear plugs and isolation while resting, a very sound advice but expensive, is to buy a Safety Sleeper which guarantees absolute safety for the person sleeping inside, regardless of tantrums and unruly behavior, without allowing the user to get harmed during the allotted sleeping hours. Yes, their behavior patterns can jolt any caring caretaker at any time, therefore destroying any real chance to rest. Sorry to say, but jumping up every occasion a disturbance, screams, etc etc takes place, will only affect all parties involved. The lady, Rose, who invented the Safety Sleeper, is a caring soul forced by her own circumstances to control a very upsetting situation. Also, a Kindle reader, latest edition, can allow direct access to public libraries without having to purchase books. The heavier the subject the faster sleep might set in. The thing is if you have decided to caretake for a disrupting individual, you must block at least 10 hours (personal opinion) without worrying any further. You owe it to yourself and all the good members in the household who reside under the same roof. Without order things will not allow for much of peaceful hours. God Bless You and Good Luck!
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I haven't read all the other answers. My thoughts are that it's tme to put her in a home. Sleep is so so very important for mental and physical health, and you are risking developing insomnia from this.
I went through it with my son. He used to call all hours and sign me up for things on the computer that would randomly call me at all hours of the night. I had to change my phone number and not give it to him. But that was after I developed severe insomnia. I would go 3 nights in a row with 0 minutes of sleep, then sleep 4 hours, then a few days again... I ended up having a mental breakdown. Don't risk your health, please!
Now I take sleeping meds and use an app called Better Sleep. I listen to sleep sounds, and on rough nights put on a meditation or a story. It's neat having your phone read you a bedtime story!
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Same here almost, but I left my job, for my father to take care of my stepmother, who has had Altz. For 18 yrs. She's on meds at night, but I'm always worried about her, she's been clenching her fist and I trimmed her nails way low, besides one, witch I got down ,it's. Like calcified hard, she's been eating her fingers and before this, cutting her fingers with her nails. Clenching her fist, I have mitts so I put them on her, after I put bandages on fingers, I had to take one MItt off because she put it in the toilet water, I washed it before bedtime, and got it on her before bed time, she got one bandage off by trying to eat it. I hade to scoop it out of her mouth. Constant watch, exhausting ! On top of my Father having End Stage COPD. But I'm left my job and my home to take care of her for him, My Daughter is an STNA, Certified, for years, she's trying to come in and take care of my Dad, homebound, insurance said no, for her to get paid, he is a reserve in the Army, we're going that route. If anyone knows anything about this please let me know. My Son's a Vet and he's. Looking into this!
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texasgirl4life: Try to make sure that you get vitamin D (from the sun) during the day and this may help with your sleep health. To sleep, you may want to try melatonin.
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This sounds similar to new moms that wake up anticipating a feeding when their baby hasn't woken up yet.
My husband finds Valerian Root helpful. It's got a strong odor but, definitely relaxes him & he can sleep thru the night.
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Just wanted to say i totally feel you on this! Something similar happens to me..it happens between 3 and 8am...i suddenly bolt awake after "hearing" my father either calling my name, or screaming it, or i "hear" him banging on my door, and its never for real...its ruining my ability to get a decent sleep as well. All i know is a psychiatrist told me its called "hypnogogic phenomenon"...i dont care what its called, i feel like my brain is breaking and that its a sign of overload and a "normal" reaction to a very unusual, jarring and dysfunctional situation.
I'm sorry Im unable to offer you any help, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you're brain reacts to such an experience.
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Even if you do find a way to get to sleep, does that solve the problem of her screaming and banging on the wall and calling for help? That will still happen.
Zolpidem (Intermezzo) or a 1/2 of a 5 mg zolpidem, or a 1/3 of a 10 mg tablet, taken with a sip of water, will get you back to sleep. That's my advice. No reason to reinvent the wheel when there is a practical miracle rx.
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I am awake its 2 am and am usually awake every night for a few hours . I wear Flents Ear Plugs . Started acupuncture That does help at a community acupuncture clinic . My anxiety Is " What Is going to Happen today ? " I have been doing this for years waking up in the Middle of the Night . Sometimes its very hard to fall back to sleep . On Instagram I Noticed a App called Green Noise and Listened to it and Made me tired . FIVE CBD . Has some chocolates and Gummies That I have Used in the Past - they work but they can make you very groggy for a few days . You Could try 1 gummy or a small piece of the chocolate - their prices are reasonable . I am In the same boat as you . Sometimes I Might have wine at night - And In the Middle of the night Have tea and a English muffin. Definitely PTSD - I think Most caretakers in our Boat have PTSD . This is a Lot to handle .
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This is just about your own sleep troubles. Some people (including me) have a ‘habit’ of waking at a particular time, and the habit is hard to shift. Drugs can help to break the habit, if you are sensible. It’s also worth checking if there is something that wakes you at a particular time - like our neighbor who goes to work at 4.30 am. We don’t hear him before we are awake and conscious of the noise, but it does affect both of us. DH goes back to sleep more easily.

Most sleeping tablets are addictive, and also stop working after a while. I became addicted myself, and it was quite unpleasant getting ‘clean’ – like jet lag for a fortnight. Now I have a limit of 3 nights in a row, followed by a couple of nights break even if things are difficult.

There are different types of drugs. Here the mildest are available without prescription and are based on antihistamines, like hay fever drugs, which make about 80% of people drowsy (not everyone). The effect wears off after a few nights in a row. Second, if I wake in the night, a half tablet of paracetamol (acetaminophen) helps me to go back to sleep, I don’t really know why. It works for DH too. Third, there are the true temazapan type sleeping tablets which are the ones to be careful about. An elderly friend said that eating something small helped him – his theory was that it gave the body something to concentrate on. Perhaps that’s why the paracetamol works.

To relax your brain, I tell myself a story from a book that I know well. It helps to take my mind off my worries. Georgette Heyer’s Regency Romances work well for me.

It’s important to be careful with drugs, though hospitals and some care facilities use them quite regularly. But they do help. Best wishes, Margaret
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It has been said that taking care of an elderly person is like taking care of a newborn; they want fed and comforted around the clock, bathed and changed, etc. They expect you to be happy and patient, while they cry and complain about everything. But the difference is that babies grow up, while elders just get more infantile. I have been taking care of my 101 yr old mother for over 20 years. It does not get easier, and with dementia, you live in fear that she will leave everything to the church, or to the brother who never does a damn thing to help. Sleep is a luxury that you have to get whenever you can. I depend upon Tums and aspirin. (Over the counter meds are poison, in my opinion.)
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I found a free meditation and sleep app called "Insight" on my iphone. Most of them cost $ but, so far this one has not They include sleep meditations. I have the same issue. When you wake up, it generally doesn't help to look at your phone (I do this sometimes, ugh). I also use an old biofeedback technique that mom taught me when I was a teen (ironically, I am often up and start worrying about her now) . Picture a blank screen and slowly with a paintbrush in your mind, focus on painting #'s on the screen, slow, o n e, two, etc. Sometimes, this still works for me. The focus is important. Good luck.
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Audiobooks, rosary if you are Catholic or other prayers/meditations. I used to work overnight care giving cases where I had to check the client every 3-4 hours to see if they needed a change of position or lavatory assistance. Even sitting in a chair sometimes, putting an audio book in one earphone while I left the other headphone out so I could hear if there was a call for assistance, got me back to sleep. Add a nap time during the day if possible?
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I had the same issue - but my Mom was in a memory care center. She wasn't sleeping at night and calling me at all hours. Although I could shut the phone off, I didn't want to do it in case something happened in the middle of the night since she was up and around and they had to get in touch with me. But, working with the staff and nurses who were opposed to overmedicating thankfully, they tried her slowly on medication to ease her mind. It worked and she started sleeping through the night with no "medication hangover" the next day. So, I would suggest speaking with her doctor about appropriate medication that would calm her mind so she could sleep (might not necessarily have to be a sleeping pill).

I still do wake up during the night sometimes and do have Zolpidem that I can take 1/2 a pill if I cannot get back to sleep.

Hope this helps
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