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MY god I love this site. It really does help to know I am not alone. My mom is in the middle stages of dementia and I am at the end stage of my patience. It is the constant questions. I think at least once a day I say "for the love of God please stop asking me questions for five minutes PLEASE!"
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hello again so what exactly is wrong with your mom I ahve so so many stories one of the worse is how she acts out and does things on purpose omg horrble cuz then zi will turnmyself into raging anger
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Has your mom gotten bitten yet? When she does, she won't tease the dog anymore. I think maybe you might want to make sure that she's around the dog as little as possible, all things considered...

No, you're not an awful daughter...but we end up feeling lousy about ourselves anyway, like we're all supposed to be angels with our halo's glowing 24/7. It would take a saint not to get impatient with alz/dementia patients. It's very hard, the same repetitious crap over and over being so annoying, yet knowing it's part of the disease and they really can't help it... I remember once, early on in her alz, telling my mom that she had already asked me the same damn question 100 times and that she was driving me up the wall...I'll never forget the look of fear on her face. I immediately felt like a louse. I realized in that moment that she had no memory of asking these questions so many times, so from then on, I just answered them, over and over and over again. She still drove me nuts, but I kept it to myself after that point. Getting impatient with her seemed unfair. When I felt really crazy, I'd just go outside, walk away from the house down to the lake, and drop one F bomb after another and cuss like a sailor for 5 minutes. Then I felt better. lol

Care giving is no easy road. I haven't felt like I'm myself in ages. You get to a point, or at least I did, where all you feel is frustration and downright anger almost all the time, and you hate that about yourself, damn yourself for it, tell yourself that you shouldn't feel that way, but can't seem to freaking stop those emotions. :/ It's normal, and doesn't make you a bad person. It's very important to get away from care giving as often as possible, especially if it's something you're doing full time. I can't stress that enough. I know it's easier said than done, but you MUST find a way to get out, get away, and do some of the things that YOU enjoy, that relax and revive you. Something, anything, that brings you peace or it seems like you're always on edge and unhappy. I'd go and sit down by the lake, even for a few minutes. I play online fantasy games and I'd lose myself in that for awhile. I'd get up really early in the morning, like 3-4 a.m, just to have that precious ALONE time, where nobody needed me, called me, or wanted me. God, I needed that alone time like I needed oxygen. Even if I was completely exhausted, I'd wake up at that time anyway, my body and mind's way of telling me that I needed time each day to myself, away from the endless demands of being a care giver. I lived for that time. The way I see it, we all need that time. And I hope you make a point of snatching some for yourself. It will make a huge difference.
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I am in the same boat and continually beat myself up about not being patient. It's so hard for all involved, and hard not to take the behaviour personally at times, but I just keep in mind it's an illness and the nice things my mum did for me. I'm a parent and I've made mistakes we all do, I'm not going to hold onto past grievance at a time like this although it is hard not to. Good luck to you all, let's just hope they find a cure for this awful disease.
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I am going through the same thing with my mom. I am blessed to have my husband helping me with her. She will be 97 soon. Some days I would like to run away, but just keep plugging along. She has no idea who I am, but I am nice and I feed her good food and she loves her bedroom. So she does smile a lot, but always is saying "Let's go." Or complaining she is cold. Or it is too light outside, or too dark outside. I do pray for God's help all the time. It is just a hard job that unless you do it, you have no idea. We don't get to go to friends anymore, and have lost touch. Wish I had a positive thing to say to you.
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